Interracial Relationships Support Group

This community is dedicated to the challenges presented when two people of different religious backgrounds form a relationship. Mingling different religions has both positive and potentially challenging aspects, including the religious preferences of children, religious holidays and traditions, schools and religious education and potentially different moral or ethical...

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/ Interracial Relationships Support Group

me against the world

michellelgrd
michellelgrd
i am a 30yr old white female and i have been in a relationship with my black boyfriend for the past 10 yrs we have a beautiful 3 yr old daughter together. currently i am living with my parents and he with his mom as we are trying to save up to own our own home his mom loves me but she has no room for us, he sleeps on the couch. he is not welcome in my parents house. they swear they are not racists that they just dont like him as a person but on several occasions racists remarks have been made to both of us like my dad said if you want to be accepted as a couple you better move up north because its not accepted down here. ive had issues with them in the past as well as i have always been attracted to black men and was disowned at 18 for dating a black guy. i didnt talk to my family for 2 years and practically lived on the streets and i hate to say it but it was the best 2 years of my life!!!! i dont remember when we started talking again but i kind of wish we wouldnt have i dont feel comfortable around them at all i feel like i cant be myself around them. they love my daughter to death but i know they wish i wouldnt have had her. i feel like im 18 all over again but this time i want to disown them.
deleted_user
deleted_user
you can't let them choose for you if you are saf and he doesn't abuse you then they have to let the color go.If they can't except your boyfriend then how can they will not judg your daughter .skin color should nver define a relationship only that you and your daughter are safe.

God Bless
momma shirley
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm a bi-racial man but identified as black and I'm dating a hispanic woman, identified as white and I'm in the same situation as you, but I don't have a child though. I experience the side comments all the time and all I can say is be patient. When the time comes, you will have your time to leave.
Rosetaz
Rosetaz
I hope you don't take offense, but I'm a mom, my kids are older than you.

I would ask why after 10 years aren't you married? Why haven't you two made a home for your daughter?

I know times are hard, but a family should be together and I wonder what your boyfriend's mother would say if he had a wife and child to take care of.

I am old fashioned in that I believe a man should take care of his family and a wife should work hard to help him.

If there's some way for you to get an apartment for you and your daughter, maybe it would be easier than depending on your mom and dad.
michellelgrd
michellelgrd
why is it when people say no offense they are about to offend you. rosetaz if you would have read the post thoroughly you would have seen that we are trying to save money to buy a house for our family and the reason he is with his mom and me with mine is because his has no room for all of us and my mom doesnt approve of him. he is in school tryin to make an opportunity for himself to get better jobs and your right times are hard so alot of people are out of work. as for the marriage thing I DONT WANT to get married im not old fashioned and dont need a piece of paper to justify what i feel in my heart so yeah i did kinda take offense to that maybe u should read through things until you completely understand them. oh and by the way i pay rent at my moms house so im not dependent on her!!!!!!!
Rosetaz
Rosetaz
The offense I knew you would feel, that's why I warned you.

I'm sure you would rather have a place where your boyfriend could visit.

My solution would be to live in my own apartment. Be more independent, maybe make it easier for your daughter too. I'm sure she feels the conflict.

Marriage is only a piece of paper, but that piece of paper put me on my husband's medical insurance and gives me security I didn't have.

I still wonder what your boyfriend's mom would feel about you two being married.

I'm married to a black man and none of his family likes me because I'm white.
michellelgrd
michellelgrd
his whole family aunts uncles cousins sisters mom have accepted me into the family. his mom loves me she thinks im the best thing that ever happened to him. she introduces me to people as her daughter in law. im sorry that his family doesnt accept u how long have u been with him? it took awhile for them to warm up to me at first but were ten years in so im considered family. what does your family think of him?
deleted_user
deleted_user
The thing about living with ur family is that they might think u depend on them because its their house (even though u pay rent). I'm in the similar situation - I live with my mum and stepdad, and cant wait to move out! My stepdad thinks I've split up with my boyfriend a year ago, and most likely he'll disown me when he finds out; but its beter than living a lie!
If two people wants to be together, they will find a way no matter what! and what I found out is that all the problems only make ur relationship stronger. Soon after the pressure from family started, my boyfriend had to leave the country, which made it more difficult. But I certainly know it made us stronger!
Never stop believing - there is a light in the end of the tunnel