Hiyas Zayanee! And welcome to the board. :)

First, let me say that I think it's great that you've found a way to feel a better connection to Deity! Such a connection is priceless. :)

That said, I hope you know that your situation isn't that uncommon. It's clear that you realize that trying to force him to go to a church where he is so uneasy will only cause problems in your relationship & breed resentment.

I would suggest talking to your husband about making a COMPROMISE. Would your husband be open to the idea of going to 'his' church one Sunday and then 'yours' the next Sunday? That way you'd be spending time together worshipping, plus you'd both feel equally accepted.

Talk with him about what makes the 2nd church so uncomfortable to him as well as explaining why you feel just the opposite. I think if you show a sincere desire to understand his feelings and suggest this compromise that he'd be much more open to the idea.

Compromise is the backbone of any good relationship. And talking through your differences is the only way to resolve them. I hope you're able work through this... let us know how things turn out! Good luck, hon! :)

Andie

Andiekins,

Thank you for the advice. its just what I needed to hear. You're right we need to compromise, not his way or my way but our way is the right thing to do... thanks!

You're very welcome Zayanee... am glad I could help out.

Take care!

Andie

I daresay it's not as simple as Andie makes it out, and that may be because she's not Catholic and so doesn't really understand the intricasies here. It's not just about going "where you feel good." Catholics and Protestants believe very differently, and you have to watch for certain things. Do you receive Communion at the non-Catholic church? If you do, you should know that this is not allowed for Catholics to partake in Communion at other denominations because they do not believe in transubstantiation. This is one of the MAJOR differences between Catholics and Protestants, and you both should be very aware of what exactly you believe. Say you don't believe in transubstantiation but he does -- you can't honestly ask him to visit a Protestant service when he's technically not supposed to, right? If he is uncomfortable going there, why push him to be "open" to it? It goes against his beliefs. You need to examine what YOU believe first. Do you want to remain Catholic or become Protestant? It is up to you, but don't expect, demand or push anyone into following you because what you feel isn't always what they feel.

Many Catholics don't really even understand their own religion, so it's important to first figure out where you both stand.

I totally understand your feelings as I grew up Catholic, left the Church for about 5 years and visited other denominations (Lutheran etc.). So I know that of which I speak. When I came back to Catholicism, I had to confess those things. Just be sure of what you're doing and be sure you're not leading him into something that would be sinful according to his beliefs.

(Andie, "Deity" isn't the same as God. God is a proper name given to YWH. I keep mentioning this because it seems you're missing it.)

Diaphenia:

As I was raised Catholic, I understand it well enough. It's the rigidity of some ppl in what they believe that caused the Great Schism in the Church.

Zayannee and her husband are worshiping the same Deity, it's just that she has found a more satisfying way to do so. There's no wrong in that.

There's nothing wrong with the compromise I suggested. Noone said he HAD to take Communion at the 2nd church if he wasn't comfortable with it! Nor does he HAVE to go to the other church if that's his wish. But... he should realize that his wife's asking for him to understand what she needs and should at least try. It's what married ppl do, otherwise they end up divorced.

As for your quote:

Andie, "Deity" isn't the same as God. God is a proper name given to YWH. I keep mentioning this because it seems you're missing it.)

*I'm* not missing anything, thank you. But I do think you are. This is an Itnerfaith Board and while your opinions are welcome, they certainly do not speak for ALL of us here. Please bear in mind that this is a board for ALL faiths, not just yours. My faith is obviously very different from yours, but that in no way means it's any less valid.

IMO, the word "god" is a noun, not a name. It may be different for you and that's swell. But I, personally, will not use that term in regards to the Allwise, (the Supreme Being that created everything), because it has connotations that are man given.

in reply to the word deity being used ... i'd just like to say, if your talking about the christian God, surely thats the wrong word entirely? isn't a deity one god from a choice of many so to speak like in eastern religions? if you not going to use God's name which i belive to be Jehovah would you please at least use his title not make him out to be some random God amongst all the buddahs and other gods. dont take that as offensive anyone, please, im just tellin y'all my opinon

It seems that I need to explain the use of the word Deity. To begin with, here is Webster's definition of the word:

DEITY: 1 a: the rank or essential nature of a god : divinity bcapitalized : god 1, supreme being
2: a god or goddess
3: one exalted or revered as supremely good or powerful

***** ******* *******
I'd like to say first & foremost my useage of the word is in NO way meant to be disrespectful or demeaning. It's simply a more general term for something that in my view cannot be truly named. When speaking of my specific beliefs, I'll usually use the term Allwise, but when when referring to the god(s) that others may follow I use the term 'Deity' as it's rather hard on an Interfaith forum to name the gods/goddesses of all others that may choose to post here.

It seems that I need to explain the use of the word Deity. To begin with, here is Webster's definition of the word:

DEITY: 1 a: the rank or essential nature of a god : divinity bcapitalized : god 1, supreme being
2: a god or goddess
3: one exalted or revered as supremely good or powerful

***** ******* *******
I'd like to say first & foremost my useage of the word is in NO way meant to be disrespectful or demeaning. It's simply a more general term for something that in my view cannot be truly named. When speaking of my specific beliefs, I'll usually use the term Allwise, but when when referring to the god(s) that others may follow I use the term 'Deity' as it's rather hard on an Interfaith forum to name the gods/goddesses of all others that may choose to post here.