My insomnia has cost me jobs and relationships. Luckily the person I am with now is quite cool about the whole situation. I am located in the Southeastern part of the US. My insomnia has driven me to the brink of suicide lately. I have had days of no sleep and things like crazy hallucinations. Tomorrow, because of my insomnia, I am flying back to my home state of California. Just writing this is quite tedious in my condition. I am going back to California solely for the purpose of addressing this problem as there are lots and lots of alternative doctors there. I have been down the xanax/ambien/pharma route which resulted in physical addiction and horrible withdrawals, the worst being with xanax. The issue was not abuse but rather having my insurance terminated and not being able to get medication. In California I have an Rx for medical marijuana. I hate putting anything in my body other than food or supplements, but let me tell you, this stuff works for me like nothing else. It's not physically addictive and has few side effects when used correctly. My insomnia is due to deep mental issues. Growing up I was beaten (had broken bones) and emotionally abused even worse. I heard gems from my parents like "I wish you were never born", and "I divorced your mother b/c of you kids". I could write pages about what happened. I have been through therapy ad naseum. I have put on a bunch of weight and never have the energy to exercise, let alone function. The medical pot is not a cure but it will at least give me some relief so I can start thinking straight and develop an effective, rational plan for combating this, with the help of professionals. The problem is that in my state of residence if I were to get caught with it I would lose my freedom, have a permanent criminal record, and ruin my career. I use the term 'career' very loosely because it has been all but destroyed by my condition. Because of not being able to access my herbal medication I have resorted to xanax but never on consecutive days. After what happened to Whitney Houston and so many other famous and not so famous people, I would think we as a society would be open to less lethal alternatives such as cannabis, which in thousands of years of use has no known fatalities. Unfortunately the state in which I currently dwell is backwards and full of religious people who think they know what is best for others and try to dictate morality. You can find liquor stores and Walgreens on every corner dispensing poison. Oh the irony! I hope somebody in politics or law enforcement reads this. I have to fly 2500 miles to get access to something that truly helps. How many more deaths and lives have to be ruined via imprisonment for us to wake up to this blatant abuse of human rights? I could certainly hit the bottle every night and drink myself into oblivion to get some sleep, but I have lost too many friends to the drink. Properly grown, scientifically tested, and vaporized or eaten cannabis (not smoked) has not failed me yet. I am really looking forward to getting some much needed rest. Finally, lest you think I am a stoner, I have traveled to 20 some odd countries and lived and worked in 2 of them, been to over 40 US states, and have done tons and tons of volunteer work. I just wanted to put this out there in hopes of getting people to think outside of the big pharma death box. I will keep you updated on my journey. I am about to pop a toxic death pill, I mean xanax, but that will all change tomorrow. Sorry for any typos.