My meds took a very long time to "work" the last time I took them. I was very upset and just laid there for hours wide awake. I should have gotten up and gone outside. It was finally a nice day outside. I sort of finally felt it, but didn't "sleep" ,I don't believe, until that night. I didn't bother with any of that crap last night and tonight I'm still wide awake and not wanting to take the meds because I'm worried the same thing will happen again. I will take them even though I'm worried about it. I really don't know what to do. If they do that again I really feel like it is the last straw and like I may finally really lose it. I felt so sick and upset earlier that I felt forced almost to lay down, but I don't feel physically sick anymore. I was wide awake, of course. It's hard to relax when I feel like this. I told the nurses that I don't think the meds are working that well and I want back on one of the ones I was previously on. She said she would tell the psych that. Well the stupid psych never called in a prescription for it and to make matters worse it's the weekend. I feel like I will surely finally really crack up and finally really lose it if worse comes to worse. I feel stuck and like there's nothing I can do to get out of this wide awake hell. I feel like I can't take much more if worse really does come to worse. I don't want to be lectured on a consistent bed time, etc. Why the hell are you supposed to have a bed time like a child, which takes away freedom, but at the same time you're not supposed to go to bed if you're not feeling tired? That doesn't make any sense to me. My dad has just told me to lay down and sleep, like he has before and he also told me to try to sleep. It's so easy for him. He's upstairs sound asleep. He's so lucky. I'm going to take the meds soon, but am really anxious and not wanting to take them. I'll feel even worse if nothing happens. I feel like nobody really cares about it. I don't even really feel like my mom even cares. She just doesn't want to listen to me. I think she just wants me to take these meds and shut up. Nobody can honestly understand this unless they've gone through it. Nobody can actually say they understand this unless they've been through this wide awake hell, which very few people have experienced. I'm not even bothering to eat until I get relief, if I ever do. My parents are both upstairs sound asleep. It's not fair. :( I really don't want to get off here. I feel totured?- not spelled right- just sitting there wide awake and I'm afraid discovering the meds are crap, which will mean I have absolutely no relief from this.