Do any of you think I'm abnormal because I'm never that tired/sleepy anymore? I think I'm abnormal because of that. I thought I would come out and ask. I don't want to be lectured on anything like CBT, etc , being as I don't think it could help my wide awake butt. I really do have a love/hate relationship going on with the meds I take. I'm afraid to try to go off them because I'm too wide awake to sleep off of them. I do worry about the sleep quality I get on them at the same time though. I also kind of worry about the long term effects it could have on me also. I do not and I will not take them every night, despite what some people especially in the psychairic? community may think. I stay up several nights, even though I shouldn't, instead of take meds every night. I also don't want to be lectured about how I shouldn't stay up al night despite me being wide awake. The weird thing is even though I hate being wide awake I enjoy staying up al night. I kind of find that it takes a little bit of my anxiety away about being so wide awake , perhaps because I'm just going to stay up because I'm wide awake anyway. ????? That being said I have laid down for a while early on several mornings after I've been up and although I haven't been tired I have fallen asleep for brief periods. I'm not sure how long, but I don't think it's for that long and it seems I have fallen asleep, had a dream and then woken up. One time not that long ago I did fall asleep not being tired and I actually woke up a little tiny less awake feeling than I usually am. It took me a tiny while to wake up all the way. I did that 2 nights in a row and the next night -actually it would have been early the next morning- I felt it a little and slept briefly but it was also very broken sleep. I had gone several days without taking the pills, which is kind of encouraging. I also didn't feel like I was in withdrawal yet, which I usually am by that point. I don't feel well when I'm in withdrawal and for some reason I was fine. I usually get sick to my stomach if I go too long without it. Seroquel is definitely not something to stop cold turkey for several reasons including withdrawal effects. Anyway, getting back to the subject, I don't think I would sleep that much without the meds because I'm too wide awake. I might just get short periods of sleep, almost more like very short naps and that might even be a good week, I'm afraid. I know I repeat myself, but this obviously does depress and bother me. I've been this way for a long time now. I just don't feel normal like this. I just feel that even if everything was mostly fine in my life, which if it's not I still would never be completely happy like this and I would always find it hard to completely enjoy my life probably. When I was a little better because I thought I was going to have a job I loved and I thought I had gotten perhaps the most lucky break of my life and I had been told I had been hired then found out I didn't get hired this wide awake crap still hung over me like a dark cloud. I rather be the opposite of me anytime, be tired all the time and require large amounts of sleep. I hate when people complain about being tired. It's my pet peeve, you could say. It's much more normal to be tired all the time than never tired. So many people are tired all the time anymore it seems like. I never had much issues with sleeping before this- before I became wide awake, al though I did go through a short period for some reason when I was a preteen where I had insomnia, but I still felt tired then. Then, apart from occasional nights here or there for some reason, up until I got like this, I was fine. I used to love to lay around. I just want to be "normal" again and I'm really worried I won't ever be "normal" again.