Insomnia Support Group
Insomnia is a symptom, rather than a disease, and is characterized by inadequate quantity or quality of sleep. People with insomnia complain of difficulty falling or staying asleep, which results in significant impairment of daytime functioning. Insomnia is categorized as transient (shorter than one week), short-term (one to three weeks) or chronic (longer than three...
It is almost 5 am where I am, the alarm is set to go off at 7:00. Already I'm thinking, if I rush in the morning, I can push it back to 7:20, like that's going to make everything right in the world and I'll wake up fresh and ready to take on the day. Truth is, I've already accepted another night without sleep, so let me tell you how my day is going to go.
I will eventually get up from laying down and get something to eat. No matter what it is, it will give me gas. I'll drive to work with heavy metal blasting and the window partially down. I'm currently in a training period at work (where I cannot miss ANY days for the next four weeks), so I'll get there and for two straight hours, follow along with the instructor on a computer screen and try desperately nod off. After my brief 15 minute break where someone will inevitably tell me about their rough night of getting only four hours of sleep, I'll go back for another hour and a half and repeat the cycle. I will look at the clock on my computer screen every thirty seconds for the last thirty minutes until it's time for lunch.
I'll then debate whether or not I should go and eat lunch or try and sleep in my car for a half hour. Since that never works, I'll eat something with a ton of carbs because at this point, my appetite will be massive. No matter what I eat, I'll get the shits and have to excuse myself two times in the first hour back after said lunch. On my next break, I'll get a momentary lift in spirits where I realize I only have less than hours left until I can go home and sleep. The last hour feels like seven days, like the movie The Ring, which is kind of ironic because it'll be right around then when I'll start to see things out of the corner of my eye that aren't actually there.
Finally, I'll be on my way home, trying not to nod off while driving through the stop and go rush hour traffic. I'll make it but not without at least one moment of "HOLY SHIT HOW LONG WERE MY EYES CLOSED?!" as I jerk the wheel slightly even though I was going straight. When I get home, my wife will ask me if I'm tired. I'll stare at her through sagging eyelids and think about the way she falls asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow. Somehow I'll make it through dinner and then I'll go to bed, content that I did make it through the day and now I can go to sleep...
Except I'll be too happy to be in bed to fall asleep. I'll lay there with my eyes closed while my brain assaults me with the sounds of my heartbeat, circus music, cartoon theme songs and 80's rock ballads. I'll spend the next twenty minutes wondering if the lead singer from The Scorpions is still alive, so I'll have to get up and check. I'll go back to bed, thinking about all those lovely health risks that pop up if you google "insomnia problems", which will send me into a depressed, isolated state for the last hour that I'm awake. Eventually, probably from the exhaustion of my mild depression, I fall asleep.
.....For about two hours until my cat decides to randomly stick her nose in my ear.
I hope you don't mind but I will share my uneducated and opinionated advice which may or may not help you.
Firstly, the vast majority of insomniacs do not have an underlying physical health issue and you appear to be in that vast majority. This is good news, as it's therefore eminently possible to improve or cure without nasty pills.
Rather than spewing an essay, I'll condense my advice into bullet points. These are things that have worked for me, or that I've learned from the millions of sleep articles and therapies I've been involved with.
- Completely cut out caffiene and booze
- Switch from heavy metal to classical (or something relaxing)
- For 30 mins before bed, every night, meditate and then say your sleep affirmations (google a how-to this)
- Remove the stress from your life. (not sure what this is, maybe change of job) Although a lot of times a change in your attitude towards these things can also work (you can use hypnosis for this)
- Make sure your sleep hygiene is good (google this too)
- Give yourself time. If you do all these things, you should notice improvements in days or weeks.
Good luck!
I second the points in SleepyKieran's post, and would add it's important to be aware of how much of what's happening to you is self-imposed, probably by what sounds like nearly nonstop negativity about your situation, and intense negativity no less.
At some point it's important to realize these intensely negative emotions you are experiencing about the idea of sleep -- and your life -- are fueling and perpetuating the problem to some extent.
What you are experiencing most of us have experienced in one form or another. It's a vicious cycle. We don't sleep well, so we're grouchy and irritable, and then we tend to catastrophize what's happening, which only worsens the problem with sleep.
I suspect you likely are hyperaroused from excessive stress and anxiety, particularly about the idea of sleep plus the demands new job, which is understandable.
Presuming you have no untreated medical conditions causing this, then my suggestion would be to look into a good CBT sleep training program. This will give you a comprehensive method to address the sleep hygiene issues as well as turn off the negative thoughts.
CBT is completely substance free and represents a permanent solution. I've been using for over a decade and have more or less restored "normal" sleep (there is no "normal", just what's right for you). Much good info online, including full CBT sleep training programs, if you're the self help type. Otherwise, ask your doc for a referral to a sleep clinic or counselor.
I think finding a healthy way to cope with the stress will go a long way, and I actually don't drink alcohol. Soda is my only unhealthy addiction, so I've been working on it, don't even drink coffee. The big thing for me is finding a way to shut off my brain, which is usually the reason why I don't sleep. My wife and me have a baby due in a couple of months so I'm worried about getting into a sleep training program when I know that my sleep is going to be jacked up relatively soon. But I'll take a look into that too. Thanks
I wanted to respond in kind to your kind response.
I think I understand what you’re feeling, the million demands that tug and pull and drag at you. The alarm, the job, the socialization at work, the plans you have to try to improve your sleep issues and as much as you care for them, the obligations that sometimes come from family. And that can be overwhelming, especially in the face of insomnia and it’s (very) many accompanied mental states.
It becomes easy to forget how to be kind to yourself. So I just came here to say, it’s amazing you’ve made it through that day, and more so that you’ve made it through every day that has been like that and might continue to be that way. Although it often may not look that way, you’re already amazing for what you’ve put up with, and to still be here today, trying to help others.
Its also wonderful that you can write something so understated and humorous from something so difficult to bear.
Wishing you better days ahead :)