I have had several good nights lately despite not really feeling tired.:)
One night I had been up all night before and of course it didn't really phase me all day. Later that night I felt a little more relaxed and I slept for several hours.:) Another time I had slept some one night and I was up the next night. I was wide awake the next day, as usual. I wanted to spend the night with my mother who was in the ICU following surgery,,but they wouldn't let me for some reason. Anyway the next day I was wide awake , but I started to feel like I was going into withdraw from my meds that evening. My leg also and my teeth also hurt and they usually don't hurt in a withdraw. Anyway I didn't really feel tired, but I kind of felt like crap. I fell right to sleep when I finally laid back in a recliner! I slept the whole night and only woke up a couple of times briefly. I had another good night the other night even though I didn't really feel tired at all. I slept for several hours. I hate listening to people say how tired they are. It is my pet peeve! I just wish I could feel really tired. I am jealous of those,you could say, that have chronic fatigue. .Some people have told me I'm lucky to feel like this, ,but I don't feel lucky. I feel like it's a curse and I still worry that I'm stuck like this. I also still worry that the meds will stop "working". I'm worried that the worse is yet to come. Things have gotten a little better. I'm working at the after school program at the school my mom taught at. There was one "teacher" who needed a substitute after school so I did that and pretty soon a "teacher" quit the after school program so I took her place! My mom is now on medical leave and will probably take an early retirement. It's almost freaky how that worked out because she wouldn't even have known about that if it was a little while later and she was on med leave already. Anyway I love it. I still need a background check and then I will be paid finally.:) I do really think that this wakefulness hangs over me like a dark cloud.:( I have been like this for almost 2 years exactly now and I really believe something like my HPA axis is all out of whack and my adrenaline and/or cortisol levels are very high ,which keep me wide awake.:( I'm fed up with that.