Insomnia Support Group
Insomnia is a symptom, rather than a disease, and is characterized by inadequate quantity or quality of sleep. People with insomnia complain of difficulty falling or staying asleep, which results in significant impairment of daytime functioning. Insomnia is categorized as transient (shorter than one week), short-term (one to three weeks) or chronic (longer than three...
This post is really just an attempt to vent so I'm sorry if you don't find much substance here.
My insomnia is in full force right now. I'm only pulling down a few hours a night and this has been going on for a few nights now but this is a pattern I've endured for over half of my life. I'm about to start a new job in a week and I'm so nervous about my insomnia disrupting that opportunity.
This affliction has plagued me for well over a decade now. It's exhausting me mentally, physically, and emotionally. It's affected my social and professional life. I'm so sick and tired of this **** curse. I'm sick of pills, doctors, sleep hygiene, sheep, white noises, because the insomnia just comes back and mocks all my efforts. I'm tired of thinking about sleep when I'm awake and I'm tired of thinking about sleep when I'm supposed to be sleeping.
Insomnia has hijacked my life. I'm at my wits end. This is not life. It's no way to live and as somebody who knows a thing or two about the human body, insomnia is in fact killing me. Slowly, but surely. I never did drugs (smoked weed a few times but that sums it up), took good care of my health, was a star athlete throughout my scholastic career, and this is how I'm rewarded. Robbed of one of the most basic functions and necessities of human existence - rest. I feel so silly when I tell people I can't sleep.
I see sleeping medication commercials all the time so I know I'm not alone but most of my friends and family sleep like logs. I feel quite alone outside of forums such as this. Only fellow insomniacs can truly understand how destructive this is and how it's truly a constant battle. I don't know how much longer I can sustain a life of sleeping pills at night and caffeine throughout the day. I'm 29 and I feel 69.
I'm feeling so hopeless over this. I've tried just about everything.
My insomnia is in full force right now. I'm only pulling down a few hours a night and this has been going on for a few nights now but this is a pattern I've endured for over half of my life. I'm about to start a new job in a week and I'm so nervous about my insomnia disrupting that opportunity.
This affliction has plagued me for well over a decade now. It's exhausting me mentally, physically, and emotionally. It's affected my social and professional life. I'm so sick and tired of this **** curse. I'm sick of pills, doctors, sleep hygiene, sheep, white noises, because the insomnia just comes back and mocks all my efforts. I'm tired of thinking about sleep when I'm awake and I'm tired of thinking about sleep when I'm supposed to be sleeping.
Insomnia has hijacked my life. I'm at my wits end. This is not life. It's no way to live and as somebody who knows a thing or two about the human body, insomnia is in fact killing me. Slowly, but surely. I never did drugs (smoked weed a few times but that sums it up), took good care of my health, was a star athlete throughout my scholastic career, and this is how I'm rewarded. Robbed of one of the most basic functions and necessities of human existence - rest. I feel so silly when I tell people I can't sleep.
I see sleeping medication commercials all the time so I know I'm not alone but most of my friends and family sleep like logs. I feel quite alone outside of forums such as this. Only fellow insomniacs can truly understand how destructive this is and how it's truly a constant battle. I don't know how much longer I can sustain a life of sleeping pills at night and caffeine throughout the day. I'm 29 and I feel 69.
I'm feeling so hopeless over this. I've tried just about everything.
Your story sounds a bit like mine. I searched and searched for an insomnia solution until I discovered CBT.
What I discovered is that sleep isn't the problem, it's invariably only the symptom. Something else deeper is going on.
What CBT does is allow you to get to the root of problem ... which is not, interestingly enough, sleep.
Presuming you don't have a medical problem causing your sleeplessness (there can be many, from allergies to apnea, that's why a checkup is probably a good idea), then, the root problem typically is some combination of bad sleep habits and excessive worry about sleep.
From your post, I see you have no shortage of worry and negative thoughts about sleep. I suggest this is what, at least in part, is fueling your insomnia.
But you should know this: many people who've battled insomnia for years have learned how to sleep better by using CBT. The methods are powerful, drug-free, permanent, and help most everyone who tries them.
CBT excels at helping you identify and release negative sleep thoughts and excessive worry about sleep. The process is called cognitive restructuring, and it works. There's every reason to believe CBT will help you too.
My insomnia has in fact proven to be complex. I have difficulty breathing through my nose which causes apnea so I have to take measures to remedy that and so far I have had 3 surgeries, tried drugs, and now have to resort to an afrin nose spray which is the only thing that really clears my nose up after all the other measures have done little to nothing for my breathing.
I know I have anxiety and that can be disruptive for sleep. I suppose I can give CBT another try. I didn't really give it my all when I did it the first time but I'm afraid my case is more severe. Thanks for the suggestion. I'll give it a whirl but I feel like I need a miracle. I've even pondered whether I may have one of those fatal insomnia conditions like Fatal Familiar Insomnia or Sporadic Fatal Insomnia. I know they are rare but I just don't understand how I can't catch a wink with some of the sedatives I take.
What if my insomnia is primary or idiopathic? I believe it is but I'm still willing to do some CBT again. Thanks again.
Since I failed to sleep in those studies, the results were inconclusive rendering me ineligible for further treatment for potential OSA which I'm almost sure that I have. When I use the oxymetazoline nasal spray, I sleep much better than without it.
Unfortunately, I am part of a health care system that won't allow me to get a CPAP mask without jumping through all the hurdles. I don't think resolving the apnea would totally resolve my insomnia as I believe it's a two pronged approach. I have the apnea, but I also have anxiety. Gods been good to me. He gave me a big nose and I can't breathe out of it. Sweet.
I was diagnosed with psychophysiological insomnia. It is a primary insomnia. I saw a certified behavioral sleep medicine specialist and he led me thru cbt therapy for insomnia. It was very difficult the first 2-3 weeks but it got better. I later got diagnosed with moderate sleep apnea for which I am now on cpap. It has been about one year in recovery and I am still improving. I do know that prolonged anxiety and sleep apnea can cause the HPA axis to become hyperactive thereby creating more alerting hormones.
What specifically did you do to incorporate cbt? My doc told me to stop taking sleep meds, start sleep restriction, stimulus control and to work on not catastrophizing my sleep issue. We set a bed and wake time and he instructed me to stay on that schedule for 30 days.
What kind of insomnia pattern occurs with you? It does not sound at all like ffi or sfi.
Thank you for sharing. I did do something very similar in CBT but once my CBT was over I relapsed into my old habits. One reason I became complacent was because my nasal breathing was still causing me problems and I knew CBT did nothing for that so I dismissed the CBT. I will go back to the CBT though because I'm sure it wouldn't hurt.
My sleep pattern is about an average of 3 - 4 poor quality sleep hours/night. Some nights I'll have 6, some nights I'll have none. It is not uncommon for me to go 2 - 3 consecutive nights with little to no sleep at all WITH medication.
@ Tez62, I understand the ramifications of SA and I do plan on completing a sleep test even though I really don't want to. I'll try it out because if the CPAP machine helps then that would be great. I'm just so tired of dealing with doctors on this issue. It's been more than 10 years and I'm still not sleeping well.
I'm very happy to hear that you all have found resolution to your underlying causes and it sounds like you are managing. I've been taking sleep meds for over 4 years now just about every night. I then rely on caffeine to get me through my work day. By the time I get home, I have nothing left. This is absolute torture. Some days, I feel like I'm just going to drop dead...my heart pounds, my joints ache, and eyes burn. ugh..
The secondary insomnia portion would be the inability to breathe through your nose and possible apnea. That can be treated medically. But beware of Afrin, because there is a rebound effect when it wears off ... leaving you more stuffed up than you were before.
A better solution may be a CPAP that creates positive air pressure through your nostrils. That may kill two birds with one stone ... help relieve the potential apnea while enabling you to breathe through your nose.
Regarding sleep studies, check out the possibility of doing this at home. Still wired, but at least in your own bed. Interestingly, many insomniacs actually sleep better in the sleep lab because it isn't their own bed and bedroom, which for many insomniacs carry conditioned negative associations with sleep.
Also wondering if you have a sleeping partner. Has that person ever observed or commented that you stop breathing while asleep?
As for FFI, it's extremely rare, genetic, and inherited. Meaning unless you are a direct descendent of someone with this (and you'd undoubtedly know), then no, you don't have this.
Regarding the primary insomnia component, yes definitely CBT is the treatment of choice. And using CBT is a lot like good dental hygiene. Once you get a good checkup, you don't just stop brushing your teeth. Same with CBT. The methods need to be actually used to work. CBT methods become part of a healthy lifestyle that prioritizes good sleep, and helps you be at your best during waking hours.
There are good workable solutions for you Vent. Stay with it.
Thank you very much for your input and insight. I'll take it all into serious consideration. As soon as my new health insurance kicks in I'll follow through with another sleep study to try out the CPAP and I'll start my CBT again. I finally caught a few more hours last night so I'm feeling a bit better today. Thanks again for the support everybody!