Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Good Morning Everyone,
I have a gem of an article from the chumplady. Unfortunately this infidelity advice is doled out often on this very site and it makes me cringe every time I read it!.
If you have just found out about your spouses affair, please read this! Tracy has a way of using analogies that make some of the routine advice given to newly betrayed spouses just utterly ridiculous when you look at them from that perspective.
Read on
http://chumplady.com/
PS (if you don't see this on 10/13/14-look for a link to the article from today called "Worst Infidelity Advice Ever"
I have a gem of an article from the chumplady. Unfortunately this infidelity advice is doled out often on this very site and it makes me cringe every time I read it!.
If you have just found out about your spouses affair, please read this! Tracy has a way of using analogies that make some of the routine advice given to newly betrayed spouses just utterly ridiculous when you look at them from that perspective.
Read on
http://chumplady.com/
PS (if you don't see this on 10/13/14-look for a link to the article from today called "Worst Infidelity Advice Ever"
But I'd also add if a BS is done on dday, I'd never say they shouldn't make that decision then. Each person's situation is different, and an affair may be the log that breaks the camel's back for some, such there's no point in trying.
Many tend to be unsure about the decision. Giving them permission to let the dust settle and evaluate the situation and their options isn't always a negative.
But I do agree some CSs are master manipulators, and can convince a BS to stay with them. But that's why I say examine their actions, not their words, plan for an exit, even if you don't leave, it is empowering to know you have options in place. No BS should just sit back, take continued deception, and hope for the best.
Likewise, even if you end up rebuilding, divorcing first and moving out, then requiring him to win you over from square one, is a viable route as well. It reflects reality as to what the affair did to the marriage. Divorcing may not always be the last word either.
Every situation has its own dynamic. There are no one-size-fits all solutions to offer. Only general principles people can hopefully use to evaluate their own situation and decide what is best for them.
The direct link to the article now that's it not the 13th anymore
When, after infidelity and all the other bad communication in my marriage, I still tried to work on it for 10 months, I called my ex, crying (ugh) and begged him to come over to talk (ugh again) and his response was that he was watching the race. He was at his guy friend's house about 10 minutes away from me. Being not a drama queen or in constant victim mode, me crying was not a usual, all the time experience.
It sunk in that night. Whatever THIS was, it wasn't going to work. He would've stayed separated to this day, without finalizing a divorce, if he didn't always wait around on me to make decisions. I knew that facing the unknown was better than doing what I was doing.
Some people told me I didn't try enough, others told me I tried waaay longer than I should have. Ultimately, I needed to decide the best course of action for MY life.