six year marraige 3 children. not perfect mostly cause of me. I have always been faithfull. been going to school for 4 years recently full time at the cost of some of our financial security. My wife has told me numerous times that she needed more. that is why I don't blame her or I am just still in denial. At the end of a very hard semester I asked my wife to go to dinner and a movie, to which she got very angry and told me I don't love you any more or like you. I had suspected infidelity a coulple of times however I now knew something was going on. I confronted her immidiatly sensing we were in very serious trouble. I told her I had been through this with my ex grilfriend and I just wanted the truth and then we could work on things. She told me she had had a one nighter with an ex boyfiend two years ago. It just killed me. she then told me she had racked up 6k in debt on a high interest card behind my back and has been uable to pay it off for four years. I knew this was not all, so I hounded her and she said she had someone in her life. She would not tell me who upon threat of kicking her out. I immidiatly started calling marriag counselers and got an appointment a week out. throughout this all she said she did not think she wanted to be with me anymore, yet refused to leave. I checked the phone records and found 10000 texts and 101 hours of activity to one number. called the asshole at 4:30 in the morning. he hung up so I left him a message(I am necols husband, if you love her I am happy for the both of you, however I do not know if you understand the implications of whats going on. are you prepared to take on my children, call me man to man. he texted and threatened me and then would not tell me where he was. I confronted her and after a counseling session she agreed to quite talking to him. I asked her if she loved him and she said I don,t know> That hurts after three counseling sessions I felt we had a long path but that we were making headway. She swore they did nothing but talk. he works where she does but is on the road a lot. Then everything went sorta bad again three weeks in, she told me to back off and quit smothering. I looked at her email when she left it open one night and she had written him a detailed love letter telling him she loved him did not want to lose him and had told him more of her deep dark secrets than anyone, but that she was confused. I blew up told her lets divide everything and get it over with now. I texted this guy and asked him to meet me> to which he would not reply. She then later said she had thought about it and did not want to start a relationship off this way and was going to end it. But she is not sure whether she wants to put up with me and my behavior and give us anothor chance. however she will go to counseling. She needs a brake and she is very confused about her feelings. She has noempathy for how I am feeling and refuses to answer any questions. she promised to be honest with me from now on. and I get the feeling that there is a part of her that wants to try. I think I need to back off and give her time. What else can I do?