Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
First let me just say that I love Chump Lady's articles!!!!
One of the many things that hurt so much after the affair came out was learning that I was NOT special. I felt in my heart of hearts that I was special and I was going to be so much better than his first wife. I was going to be so good to him that he could never contemplate ever having an affair while married to me. What a blow that was when I found out. The world as I knew it with him was destroyed and everything seemed fictitious.
I have been so stuck on the notion that I was no longer special or that I was never special to him. The other day I read a Chump Lady article titled "Christie Brinkley vindicated?" and I felt a light bulb go on. :-)
The section of the article that woke me up is listed below:
"Theres a special kind of mental gymnastics that goes along with marrying an admitted cheater. Its the spackle known as: Things Will Be All Very Different for you.
How are they different? Well, you dont suck like the last wife sucked.
See, if you buy this notion that We Make People Cheat, then you feel immune to history repeating itself. All you have to do is not suck like the first wife sucked, and believe the narkles (narcissist sparkles) that youre Very Special and voila! Immunity!" - (ChumpLady - November 2, 2014)
I was expecting my husband to be different from who he really was and has always been. I truly thought I could change the history of him but I have no power to change someone else's history; only they do.
I am special!!!
One of the many things that hurt so much after the affair came out was learning that I was NOT special. I felt in my heart of hearts that I was special and I was going to be so much better than his first wife. I was going to be so good to him that he could never contemplate ever having an affair while married to me. What a blow that was when I found out. The world as I knew it with him was destroyed and everything seemed fictitious.
I have been so stuck on the notion that I was no longer special or that I was never special to him. The other day I read a Chump Lady article titled "Christie Brinkley vindicated?" and I felt a light bulb go on. :-)
The section of the article that woke me up is listed below:
"Theres a special kind of mental gymnastics that goes along with marrying an admitted cheater. Its the spackle known as: Things Will Be All Very Different for you.
How are they different? Well, you dont suck like the last wife sucked.
See, if you buy this notion that We Make People Cheat, then you feel immune to history repeating itself. All you have to do is not suck like the first wife sucked, and believe the narkles (narcissist sparkles) that youre Very Special and voila! Immunity!" - (ChumpLady - November 2, 2014)
I was expecting my husband to be different from who he really was and has always been. I truly thought I could change the history of him but I have no power to change someone else's history; only they do.
I am special!!!
No one can take that away from us except ourselves,
Your husband used your specialness but he can't diminish,
He can confuse how you see yourself
It is good to see that your head is getting Back on straight
Your heart always has been so
Your husband sadly has chosen to soil his own specialness
Maybe someday he'll get his head out if his hineyhole
My husband tried for a while to sprinkle the narkles on my. I fell for it- not thin enough, did like golf, didn't support him, didn't wear enough make up, or matching bras and panties. It hurt me to the core. The light bulb went off for me 6 months later (we are now separated)- it wasn't about me, it was about his lack of self confidence, identity and him looking for that person that can put him on a pedestal the way his mother had.
Here I am- going thru the divorce process. He doesn't respond to deadlines, petitions, courtdates.....strange behavior for a man that wants that green grass without mowing or fertilizing!