Not sure why you don't think she won't know where it came from when you put your husband's name and yours on it but it doesn't really matter if she does know.

YOU are the wife and everything you said is true. He can't help or diagnosis her illness so it really is best that she seek all of that from some people who can help her...outside of the bedroom. Good for you for doing it.

Sadly, I don't think she is a major issue she is a huge part of it yes but your husband is also. He took the disc claiming to be nice but he hid it in the trunk. Why not just throw it away? How was he going to give the disc back? Was that his personal burned copy? I have a few medical disk and I don't pass my stuff around willy nilly and I don't have cancer. I would think you would want to hold on to that for other doctors, second and third opinions (yes you could always request more but that is a hassle if you are already sick). So, where exactly did he see her son? Again, how was he going to give it back? I think there are a lot of lies and they are starting at home.

Also, it irks me so bad when CS start calling there spouse names. It is so disrespectful that not only are you going to cheat but you are going to call me a b!tch, a f'ing b!tch. He is bring up issues that I'm sure he has told the other woman and that seems to be a huge issue for him. What does the fact that you get his check (like a lot of married couples around the world who have bills, you have to contribute to the household.) have to do with the fact that he is probably still in contact with the OW and missing with matters (her health) that have nothing to do with him if they stop talking a year ago?

As to the question. I've given it to much thought and while I'm sure there is a wide range of why women go after married men, I've thought of a few.

In my situation, I think they just thought they both had a lot to lose so they would do everything possible to keep it hidden and cover. If one person doesn't have as much to lose or want out of there marriage it is harder to keep control of the relationship because that person will do what they want.

Also for a lot of them it's financial. My husband is not over the finances (by choice) so he can never take care of a woman with anything more than maybe a cheap lunch. But like Tiredoflosing said some take what they can and once that wallet is dry they move on.

Next is the women that think they are better. Your husband will treat them better because they are better than you. Yeah, all new things are better. In most cases after the newness wears off they will move to the next new thing.

Then there are the fixers. I can fix him. When he leaves his wife yes he may have issues but I will be there for him and give him the support that he needs and he won't cheat.

I think my last group is just the ones that don't care. They find him charming or whatever and they are in it for their happiness, be it sex, companionship or whatever.

Have you read about sociopathic behavior? Sociopaths can be disarmingly charming, have high testosterone levels, often low moral standards, and frequently engage in relationships with attached people in order to "win" at all costs. They have no empathy; they are out to get what they want at any cost. It is easy to fall into a trap with these people because they are often master manipulators. I believe that the OW in my situation was most likely a sociopath. I also agree with Lstecker, it also could very well be just an ego boost to steal someone away from someone else. And there is another camp of these AP's that believes that attached people must be better catches than the unattached.

didn't read past the title.
some women go after married men because those women are scumbags
some married men say yes because those men are slimeballs

grey and nuances are for artists and story tellers

people are as people do

A lot of women don't necessarily go after married men... however when they find out they are married they don't stop because they like the attention.