Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I am a 26 year old wife and mother of a one year old. I recently found out that my husband was having an affair. We would have made 2 years this coming December . I am crushed. I found out this affair began at his best friends bachelor party then continued for about a couple months after. Since discovering his infidelity I have felt an array of different emotions. My husband won't even let me express my emotions without yelling, cursing at me or telling me to get over it. I love him however I do not feel like I deserve this constant disrespect. While I have contemplated divorce a number of times , I am afraid of what life after might look like. I feel like a fool.
If I could give you some advise, you have two choices...Option one...Leave him. Option two stay and work on your marriage. I myself chose option 2. This is how we saved our marriage.
If you chose option two, IT COMES WITH RULES. First step is to have a long hard talk about why the marriage is such a mess, ask ALL the questions about the other women, how it started etc. Take ownership for YOUR part in the marriage crumbling...put it all out there.. when I say ownership ...not the BLAME. His actions are not acceptible...but something happened it is important to get to the bottom of this. The next step is to ensure the other women is out of the picture. Ask him? If not ... he needs to make a choice. You dont want to be 2nd best. You are his wife. Tel him you will work on the marriage along side him, and he needs to tell you ... not shout or scream when he feels YOU are becoming overbearing. If you are serious about your marriage... YOU will need to do most of the changing before he can change. You made a choice to take him back and work on the marriage ... Stop asking questions about her and the affair ...you need to NOT make this other women the centre of your marriage, you can not move forward if you constantly hound him. The next bit is very very hard ... you need to step up the WOMENLY DUTIES... I can not express this enough. You need to find that spark again in your love life. Show him you are committed to your marriage and you want it to work. Ensure you both have full access to each others phones and computers. No more secrets. Start to built the trust.
My husband and I ensure we have more time for each other. I dont mention the other women. I am focused on what OUR needs are.
He is not going to come around very quickly, believe me ... he might have ended it ... but she will always be on his mind in the beginning. The trick is to make him see ... HE made the right choice ..."YOU". When you feel you need more details ... speak to a friend ... men are funny .... they will tolerate your questions for a little while ... then they will start to see you as a bully and unforgiving. Dont cross that line. He will not come back over to yourside again... he will question the marriage.
I found out about my husbands affair on the 2nd January. We are now 10 months later. Even though we are both different people ... we are happy. We are more open with each other. We have even got to the point where we use WE and US more often in a sentence. We laugh, we joke with each other ... it is important ...to keep the relationship more simple and light hearted.
I do have days that I feel I am at breaking point ... I am not shy to say to my husband ... I need a ME day and need him to be in the background so that I can have my moment.
I do hope you find peace in your marriage. Best of luck. :)
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The not letting you talk about it and yelling at you to just get over it should be telling you that he puts his own needs, desires and feelings before your own. The fact that he does not seem remorseful it tell as well. I believe he feels entitled to cheat. He seems arrogant about it.
I believe your situation will just get worse until you roll over and play dead. Now that you've been a pain he will probably just get smarter about hiding his behavior in the future so he doesn't have listen to you nag.