Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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/ Infidelity Support Group

WHAT IS WORSE?

Hazel79
Hazel79
A one time fling or an ongoing affair?? A friend of mine had a one time fling and to this day hates himself but has never told his wife but has LEARNED from his error and stupid drunking judgement. Do you think it is worse to have a one time life lessoned fling or an ongoing affair like his father did (did screw him up)?
deleted_user
deleted_user
to answer your question:

I was cheated on and he had a long term affair, I think the long term ones hurt more because they had to get personal and emotional at some point. NOT THAT I APPROVE any cheating, but a one time thing drunk at a party is easier to understand then a 6 month afair.

Just my 2 cents
deleted_user
deleted_user
If a person has to cheat, a one night fling is much better than an ongoing affair. Ongoing affairs involve emotions and lie after lie. I could get over a one night stand faster than, knowing my husband had been sharing not only his body, but his emotions and whatever else with this person.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think a one night fling is much easier to cope with. The fact that my wife used to come back to our house with her boss at lunch time on numerous occasions is much harder to forgive than a one night drunken stand. Also the fact that it has gone on for three years which is over half our marriage is hard to accept.

I wish it had just been a drunken one night stand.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I could handle a ONS much better then a on going affar.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i know some people will not agree but i would give my right and left arm to have had my husband just have a one night stand. his affair lasted for 4 years and resulted in a child only 4 months younger than our son. it hurts either way but in my situation it would be much easier to forgive a one night stand vs. an ongoing affair.
Nanayaya
Nanayaya
I agree that pain is pain-period. For myself i think a one time deal vs a long term affair would have been a hell of alot easier for me. He finally told me he had been seeing her off & on for years but after I moved 900 miles away he fell in love w/ her. I don't understand how anyone could lie for so long & not feel bad about it. He says he felt bad every day because he couldn't stop. It became an addiction for him. Immediate gratification & living a fantasy life made him feel young again. He didn't see reality until I was ready to sign the divorce papers & someone else wanted me. Whew, that was a wake up call for sure.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Both of them are terrible, but in my experience I would have to say that the on going affair is worst because it is about more than sex, it is on an emotional level too.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I would give my right leg if it could have been a one night fling. seriously.
tanjat
tanjat
I agree with everyone, a one night stand is easier to excuse...yes it is still bad but if he truly is sorry and learned his lesson....I for one dont think I would want to know about a one time screw up...I dont know if I am alone in this...What kills me about my H 's 4 month affair is that he thought he was in love with her at one time .... the thought of him holding her, romancing her ...Making love to her as supposed to a drunk f*** .... That is what kills me!