Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I just found out of 9/22 that my husband of eleven years had been seeing a girl for the past few months. Not only had he been sneaking out to see her, but it was also evident from his cell phone bill the long, late night calls he was making to her after I went to bed. He had already ended the relationship before he told me about it.
However, he seems to be unremorseful. We married very young, straight out of high school. There was a time after we'd only been married two years when I left him. It only lasted for three weeks, but as I've told him many times before, I did not see nor date nor have anything to do with another man during that time frame, and I never have!
He tries to justify his affair by saying it was paybacks for what I did to him, nearly ten years ago!
Have any of your men ever tried to justify their affair this way or in a similar manner, and how did you handle it?
Thanks for the advice.
However, he seems to be unremorseful. We married very young, straight out of high school. There was a time after we'd only been married two years when I left him. It only lasted for three weeks, but as I've told him many times before, I did not see nor date nor have anything to do with another man during that time frame, and I never have!
He tries to justify his affair by saying it was paybacks for what I did to him, nearly ten years ago!
Have any of your men ever tried to justify their affair this way or in a similar manner, and how did you handle it?
Thanks for the advice.
I think I remember knowing, a very short time into our marriage, how very different my H/EX and I were. It hit me hard. How to build a life with someone who is so damned different. I felt mislead, seeing as he was so agreeable before we said those vows that meant everything to me.
Differences can tear you apart or draw you closer. His good qualities can help you with your less than stellar qualities and vice versa. At least that is the way I tried to handle those differences. Maybe that outlook will be yours too,.
I viewed his affair as my 'wrecking ball' too. It was. A wrecking ball. Amazing to me that your words were mine. See what I mean about coffee or Corona?
In that conversation that you had with him last night, he said he wants you back - damned the marriage piece of paper and ring and all that. It doesn't matter if it means nothing to you and him, in your heart, in your spirit. Those things are just items, stuff, meaningless, unless they stand on your love for him. Unless they stand on his love for you. Hell, we could all have that piece of paper and that bling of jewelry on our hands, but they mean nothing if we don't adore eachother to distraction, above all others, before anything...see my point?
I do have to agree with him. Marriage be damned. He want your heart back. He wants YOU back and with him and happy to be there or he is willing to let you go. To be happy elsewhere.
And he sat up last night to say this to you? He didn't snore away in his bed? While you hurt? I think this guy loves you, Jenn, and is willing to put that time and effort into you. Let him.
Inflicting those little wounds again...that was my struggle too. I wanted for us to be healing and it just was not logical to keep the wound repeatedly stabbed and ripped wider with my anger. Granted that anger was there, I just took it elsewhere and kept reminding me that he wanted to work it out with ME, not her, not her...but ME.
He just didn't have the balls to finally kick her out of his life, once and for all...weak, weak, weak...
THru this? I have learned that I want a MAN, not a mouse...
This conversation with you and I? Any time...I just don't want you to lose hope in what you have now...or in what you may have to do...there is always hope. In staying or in leaving when you have to...when you have opened yourself up enough to be sooooo vulnerable...and it still didn't work...then you know you have given it all...and can really walk away...if you choose.
Anytime, I mean that...L~
He explained things to me last night the same way you took them, but he could learn a lot from you, L. The way you put it sounds much better (haha)! I would love to sit and have that corona (with LIME) with you--you are a hoot! Not to mention very good at disarming me ;)
If I didn't love him, I wouldn't be making strides to patch things up. We had problems before all this, and now we have a double order of marital problems, with some infidelity on the side. This will be a test (a very big one) of our love. I've made it quite clear that this will NEVER happen again....and he SWEARS it won't.
So time (and good ol' patience) will tell!
xoxo~jenn
You must have your own cape somewhere, superhero!
It seems so necessary for you to keep reminding yourself of all these facts, even when that confusion sets in....
More later, Jenn...
L~