Like the one about "how to kill your husband"...too funny!

Love the snake hilarious, also the dumping picture, absolutely brilliant.
Keep them coming.

after i found out that my ex`s new friend was not just a friend. i took the money that she was going to spend on them to go on vacation with and bought me a new washer and dryer. i also went away for the weekend by myself . the rings i gave away to a couple that did not have the money to buy rings. I quit paying her bills and bank the money for me when i decided to boot her out.( she had no idea)she was at work and one day the repo guy came and got her truck too because of me. and the saddest is that she now lives in a one room apartment with a cat. the ow .I sent her flowers at work. the card said (good luck) she is all yours now.i did not blow up i acted like nothing was wrong when i had enough money to live okay. i told her that we was over and to get out. with a eviction letter from the courts. now that is a slap to the ego. i told her not to cheat.

i should of told you that that ex has been a ex for four years now. the new ex that cheated my life has got so much better with out her in it. i don`t need to get revenge on her she is doing a good job at it her self.

Ok I didn't do this my best friend did it to his ex, By the way it was my Idea.
After finding out she was having an affair for at lest a year. On the last day before he moved out we went out side with a roll of toilet paper and gloves. We then unrolled a lot of the toilet paper and rubbed both side of it on poison ivy. We rerolled it and put it back in the bathroom.
She also had one of the coin collection boards hanging up on the wall. The one's you put a quarter in for each state. we took them all out and replaced them with regular ones.
any way we laughed for hours and still talk about it once in a while.

when my husband told me about the affair, the next day i took my daughter to her grandma's and I got a hotel. I called my girlfriends so we could have a bash our husbands sleepover.... (of course I cried majority of the night) we went to a night club and danced out my frustrations (I was drunk) my husband called me like 15 times that night in panic of where I was and if i was ok. I came home the next evening. he was pist at me for not talking to him or telling him where I was. I told him "I was out with friends". he was like "what friends and were did you sleep". i showed him my hotel reciept and my girlfriend told him too ...

Sunday before Thanksgiving, my husband started a horrible fight, because I wouldn't have sex with him the night before.... I caught him on the computer with her while he was supposed to be spending time with me decorating the tree. I couldn't hold his attention, he kept disappearing to get back on the computer... At that point, I didn't have all of the proof on his A, but, I just somehow knew what he was doing...

So anyway, he starts this major fight and takes off Sunday morning. He told me he was leaving to go shopping and too cool down. He didn't come home until after midnight! By this point, I'm peeved myself... So, as I helped him unload the groceries (in the middle of the night), I noticed he bought the wrong toilet paper... He got the REALLY cheap kind that feels like sandpaper on the sensitive areas.... Me and my son both think he picked that one up on purpose as a jab at me because I'm the one who can't use it...

So, Monday a.m., on the way out the door, I shredded several rolls of the toilet paper, leaving it in his shoes, in his side of the bed under the covers, and in his car... I put the two remaining rolls of toilet paper in his brief case for him to find later... :O)

I like the idea on Something to Talk About movie where she makes a meal for him and puts Exlax in it. I tried leaving the books around the house, leaving my phone out where my friend (a male) called me totally innocent of course. Took down the photos. Nothing got a rise out of him. The only thing he asked was where were the pix of HIM can ya beleive it?

The day after D-day...

I put every one of her shoes.....about 30 pairs.....in a hefty bag and urinated in the bag.

I left the bag on the porch......she asked me what was in it....I told her......the shoes you were buying when you were looking for excuses to get out of the house. "OH....by the way....I PISSED ALL OVER THEM.

Same day....I emptied her bras and panty drawer onto the barbeque grill.....and fired it up.

She came out inquiring about the horrible smell and smoke. I informed her that she will be needing new underwear. THEN THE GRILL CAUGHT ON FIRE! I had to break out the extinguisher.

THEN......I TOOK A LARGE HAMMER....AND SMASHED HER CELL PHONES IN FRONT OF HER......CALLING HER A SICK FUCKING BITCH ....IN UNISON WITH EACH HAMMER STROKE.

I started a ficitious facebook page (because ow blocked me on hers) and low and behold I was able to go on her wall and write something... She made a note about something and I responded with: Oh, you must be talking about the married man you came to Illinois to f*ck... I left it up on her wall for more than an hour and other friends of hers had also been chatting on that conversation prior to my note and so they all received it. Then I deleted it a bit later, well, she then changed her settings to private so nobody but her actual friends could see it and talk on it. LOL. I think she probably freaked out since most of her family is on there and she's married.

My H has a thing about tiny ankles. Fat ankels are a turn off so I told the kids that fat ankles grosses dad out ...well you know teens :) Everytime we go out the kids make a point to say something lol
BTW my kids have no idea about the A's, I have been really careful in protecting them not the H.

I also sent a email out of one of his accounts to the whores and informed them he is married and since I was going to be a single parent please let me know what STD"s they had so I could make sure I was alright!

Hey Mommy224,
When did you do the Dog Poop thing, Someone did that to my wifes car a long time ago ?

I have taken to throwing things at my h. I mean it is ridiculous! He has learned to move fast though. The thing I have to my advantage is he just has NO IDEA what I will do right now! He use to be afraid of the OW and what she would do to him...now I think he is afraid of ME! I think he should be afraid of both of us! Her because she wants to wreck his life, marriage and family. Me because I am so pissed at him that containing it is hard to do. The slightest thing and I am completely losing it! I am trying though. I really am.

There is a big part of me that would love to do something horrible to her, but frankly I dont think she is worth the effort or energy! I feel sure Karma will take care of her! I hope so atleast. As long as she stays away from me and doesnt contact me again I will leave her alone. If she does, well then all bets are off! I will be done holding back. Right now I just hope she gets her truck repo'd and her home foreclosed. I hate that I have such horrible thoughts but I do..cant help it!

My niece and I loaded his gas tank with sugar AND finger nail polish. the car ended up not working. Gee, I wonder why.

To be honest, I didn't do too too much. I mean I signed him up for some gay porn here and there, cut off his cell phone ( which was MINE) and in MY CAR that he was driving her around in, I wrote in a yellow welder's marker "ONLY ONE BITCH IS ALLOWED IN THIS CAR, YOU'RE NOT IT" on the dashboard and also "has a fiance" on the back of the car. Did I mention it was my car? And hell to get off. But the point was, he parked MY car at the college the next day... I am taking it she got the hint he had a fiance.

But, believe it or not, KARMA got this guy more than anything:

Car #1 that he got after his car 'stopped working" overheated. The head cracked- the whole engine was gone.

car#2 - the brakes failed (no, I had nothing to do with this) and he hit a truck in front of him.

Car #3.... lol the gas tank had a small pin at the top. that pin fell DOWN into the gas tank, requiring a repair he could not pay.

What is sad is car number 1 and 3 were pretty good cars.

He dropped out of college and though I told him SEVERAL TIMES to pay his college loans back, he did not and defaulted. Wow, have fun buying a house.. or anything... and I really hope he enjoys his paychecks being cut, because they should be by now.

Also, I have recently heard he may have MS. His father died of MS in his 50s. My ex is now in his thirties.

Oh and he got demoted at work. News travels fast and his life SUCKS.

My H's OW, was supposedly just a friend, a co-worker of his, and supposedly both of us couples were friends, she is married too.

Two years ago, I was a bit miffed cuz he was sharing far too much personal business with her, and he even had the audacity to put her on the phone to reassure me, that he didn't have anyone else cuz I had questioned him about it. So I was angry with him, and her, and told her to redirect my H, to me, if he had any concerns, complaints, or comments regarding me or our marriage. Well, she didn't take it well, and I felt guilty. Little did I know she was the OW. So as a peace offering, I bought her a purse off of E-bay, a Burberry designer bag, for $200 dollars. Keep in mind I thought she and her H, were friends of ours, as we've been to each other's houses, as well as celebrated B-days, and New Years' together, as well as company Christmas parties, etc. I helped her with her son, special ed child, and advocated for him, and even bore some consequences with my job for doing so.

I even counselled them, as per her request 3 years ago, to help her with her marital problems.

So when she called one day, to talk with him, all excited that she won the purse on the E-Bay, auction and for such a wonderful price on ONLY $200, I offered to pay for it. Well weeks later, I discover SHE'S THE OW!!!!!! Yikes!!! I left her a message, and told her she needed to return the money, cuz that purse was bought for a "friend", not as a reward for a "cheater". She didn't repay, until I bugged my H, and told him, to tell her, that I expected the money back by the end of the week! I got it!!!! And I didn't feel bad at all, not even like an "Indian giver", cuz he was the "husband robber" in my mind! It felt good.

One day, after D-day, I told him to tell her, she needed to come to my home with him after work. She claimed she couldn't cuz she had her twins baseball game. I told him, no excuses, we were on the way home. He said again, as he called, she couldn't due to the time frame. I called him again, and said tell her, if she doesn't come for 5-7 minutes, which is all I need, then she looks mightly suspicious. She showed up!

I told her, a year ago, you promised you two would not be discussing me, my job, my personal business, my marriage, or anything, and you lied. The both of you lied.

Then I asked her, "Why in the hell are you texting my H at 4:55 in the morning?" (Of course they already discussed things before they came to the house). She immediately responded, "Well, it's the mayonnaise, the mayonnaise.....I was calling to remind him to bring mayonnaise to work, for sandwiches I was making for us at lunchtime." I responded, "Oh bullshit, you can do better than that! Please! What a stock, and pre-arranged answer! Also I said, "Oh, now you two are playing house too, at work, and you are the wife making him sandwiches! How nice!"

I also sent her a lengthy email, to let her know how low I thought she was,after being a good friend to her, and how she repaid me. I let loose, and it felt good!

My H, after being kicked out, came to his senses! I encouraged him to call her H, and admit to him, that yes, indeedie, it was true, that my H, was infatuated with her, and fantasizing a future together. I suggested he say that I was not "delusional", (like the 2 called me behind my back). She was rip-roaring mad, cuz even tho I had called her H, he had minimized everything and said he knew my H, was a good guy, and they were just friends. He stuck his head in the sand. I suggested after D-day, that we all four have a talk! My H was trying to show his remorse and was up for it, and called her H, who told us, he'd ask her. The OW responded, "That ain't gonna happen". We suggested a restaurant, and she still refused.

So that's when he decided to call her H. She was angry, cuz it got her H to thinking, and knowing, well, so the betrayed wife wasn't that crazy after all, and there was a little more to the story.

That Monday at work, she came to his cubicle, and asked "And what was that supposed to prove", he said "just the truth", and "I gave you a chance to talk it over with all 4 of us". This showed her, that he was taking responsibility, and the hiding and game playing was over! That felt good. And supposedly, they haven't talked at all, at work for over 8 months or so. He said this gave him the excuse, to cut out all contact!

So those are my little stories! But the purse one is my favorite. She thought, she was getting a free purse, from her OM's wife!!! And of course, she had accepted it, until I found out!!! What audacity, huh?