Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
By me wanting revenage on the cheater does that make me crazy? I know I have posted this before but he just told me again that I was crazy and needed to go get help. I want him to feel as much pain as he has caused me for the last 3.5 years does that make me crazy? I told him I would destroy him for what he has done to me and my daughter and he told me that he has felt trapped and scared of me. Does anyone else want revenage? Does it really make me crazy?
It took me a lot of years though to realize that karma is real, what goes around comes around. And it did.
Nope, it's not wrong to WANT to, but it is wrong to DO it.
I think you see that and have stopped yourself so far.
The range of emotions going on with cheating is one amazing thing. The hurt, the pain, the rage...all of it. It happened to all of us, to some degree. We have all gone thru a wide range, so sure, we know how you feel, and you have a right to feel like you do...
...but I wouldn't advise you to do anything in this state of mind. No revenge. No big decision making. Nothing - until this range of emotions, this dust settles.
We all want instant karma. Some forces to take care of the OW/OM. Sometime that takes time. I know I talked to God regularly, would take walks while carrying weights and just MOVE, and I would be saying, 'Oh Man, God, you better take care of this, I won't touch it, because if I do, I won't be able to stop myself. So, it's ALL On YOU.'
That level of rage in me? Had never seen it and hope to never see it again.
Sending you support, L~
Just as the CS have a million reasons why they did what they did (mine said I was a bitch of a wife), nothing justifies the act of cheating and nothing justifies acts of revenge. Try not to verbalize those feelings to your CS. It only makes you look as bad as he is.
L also had it 100% correct when she gave it to God. Some burdens are just way too big for us to carry, so we must cast them upon the Lord and have faith that He will deal with the situation in a just way. We may not get to see the justice being done, but we have to trust that it will be done. I just went through a setback and a DS faithful friend reminded me to give it to the Lord and now L, another good DS friend, just confirmed that. I don't know about you Only, but I tend to listen to the Big Guy when He's talking and sometimes He speaks through the people in our lives. Sending you support.
It's alright to say that some of this may have been given to us, but dang, it's just too big. 'Yeah, You gave this to me to handle, but it's wayyyy bigger than me, so I am giving it right back to You.'
Nothing wrong with that at all...L~
http://www.getrevengeonyourex.com/
...the closest thing I did was put dog poop under Spammy's door handles. Like ALL of them.
That could be construed as illegal use of poo.
...and then I started talking to God alot!!!
L~
The main revenge I was feeling was that I wanted to call her BF and tell him the truth. She told him a bull**** version of what had occurred when the doo-doo hit the fan and she had to come "clean" out of fear of exposure. "Clean" was no where near reality. I wanted him to have the story backed up by HER own e-mails, messages, nude photos (sent to me by several men whom she shared them with, not just my SO), and especially the e-mail that where she admitted that she was going to dump him (BF) as soon as she got her drivers license back (DWI). (He is a police officer). All in print. I didn't end up doing it because I didn't have any info other than his first name and area where he worked. I didn't want to devote any more time to her. I wanted to get my own life in order.
My Ex, while he is a friend to me, I don't feel the need to get revenge on him. I did when I found out and told everyone, and that worked for me. It was mostly a "look, I'm not crazy and he's not perfect." Now, I just go about my business. I rarely talk to him, and the difference is, I no longer have the desire to talk to him. I am enjoying working him out of my life as my number one and putting myself there instead.
I don't think of my days any more as wanting revenge, or even caring what he does and how he does it. As long as he sees our son when he is supposed to and pays his child support, I can't even see a reason I would need to talk to him at all.
Lastly, the pain you feel they never will. Period. If they have never been betrayed or broken by someone they loved immensely, they will never know it. And, it's a tough pill to swallow, but once you realize it no longer matters what happens to them, the better off you'll be.
The OW and her husband were our good friends. So - the double betrayel thing is horrible for me. In a moment of weakness - I googled her. She's on twitter now, so every time I log on - I can see all the fun things that enter her mind. She does it for professional reasons, however it still sucks.
AND - I know what a waste of time it is to google her. I feel horrible after because it wastes so much time. Time that I could spend doing work, which just leaves me feeling stressed since I didn't get anything done.
Anyways - my point is that by all outward appearances - she's trying to give the impression that she's all about her career. It appears as though she's moved on. That may not be true - perhaps she's truly suffering on the inside, yet projecting that appearance. Who the hell knows. I still feel stuck in this pergatory. I haven't hit the dday 1 year anniversary yet, and I'll have some really crappy days every now and again.
I stumbled across her phone number a few weeks ago. I almost wanted to sign her up for Justin Bieber fan club texts.
Still might. :-)
It's natural as humans to want those that hurt us to pay for what they've done....It's done all day long in courtrooms all over the country. Infidelity is just different.
It doesn't mean we're crazy or less than because we have vengeful thoughts toward our CS OM/OW. I think that's natural and normal. It's what we decide to do with those thoughts that can make us cross that line to the crazy side. It's very important to me to NOT cross that line. I want to be better, not because I'm superior, but because I know that NOTHING will undo what has been done. NOTHING really is going to make me feel better about all this shit. Not really.