Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Sherbertherbert 08/22/2016

I've been spiraling downwards this last year and it came to an abrupt halt after a drunken night out with friends. I was feeling more and more neglected by my husband so started partying more. I had a kissing session and admitted to my husband of 15 years as soon as I had the details. (I was blackout drunk, I even peed myself ) we went to therapy almost right away where he admitted he knew this was coming. He says he still loves me but doesn't know if he can get past this. I know I have been terrible and have been trying to show him I am willing to work with my problems (marriage therapy and individual therapy) can you throw away 15 years of marriage? Anyway our anniversary is this week and I have no idea how to approach this. I don't know what to do? Please help

gravinggirl 08/22/2016

I had a long affair that came to light in a major way, and I eventually ended it. When my wedding anniversary came around, I asked my husband if he wanted to celebrate it or if I had ruined it. He said of course he wanted to celebrate that we are still together. I made the dinner plans and got him a thoughtful gift. We had a lovely evening.

My vote is, ask him and follow his lead. If he doesn't want to celebrate, that's fine.

Sherbertherbert 08/22/2016

I did ask and he was "like what? Did you have anything planned? " and that's all that's been said. I might get a I love you card. Does this get easier?

gravinggirl 08/22/2016

Maybe ask if he wants a special dinner in or out?

mendingourlove 08/22/2016

I also had a long affair, my husband discovered it and i admitted to it. we are about 6 months after dday and it is still a very crazy high and low roller coaster. We both are in IC and in Marriage Counseling. We are both are fighting for our marriage.

When our anniversary came around my husband left it up to me to plan or do whatever i wanted (he usually does the planning for trips). I planned a weekend in a condo out of town, had a few things planned. It was a good trip in all but of course the day of our anniversary was a very tough day lots of crying and emotional. So i recommend offer a few things to your husband and see how he feels, and if he even wants to celebrate it.

Stillpinkpony 08/22/2016

From the betrayed spouse perspective, I would ask him how he wants to handle the anniversary. I believe 2 things are important, 1 is to acknowledge him and your love and desire for a rebuilt marriage with a heartfelt card, 2 let him lead the pace of three anniversary.

leavingabetterman 08/23/2016

It's now been about 20 months post Dday. Yes, I still get reminded in the way BS's naturally would.. June was a significant anniversary in number of years. She said she wanted no special plans and barely all aknowlwdged my "Happy Anneversary" comment. I have no issue.. I caused the problem. I did write a touching piece on fakebook and many acknowledged it. I made sure to thank her and pointed out how lucky I was to have her. I believe she has seen it despite the fact she has no FB account. I will leave the matter alone as it could be worse.

stillstuck 08/29/2016

Our 25 anniversary was 6 weeks after Dday. I was clear that he could go straight to hell with his anniversary plans. He snuck in and left chocolates everywhere. He'd never done anything romantic. It was bittersweet. It's one of those damned if you do, damned if you don't situations. An anniversary without acknowledgement can cause resentment . On the other hand celebrating can cause triggers and the association of bad memories. Make some soft plans and run them by him - if he's open go for it. If he's not keep things simple but sweet

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