Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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jenlozi 03/23/2015

So my BF of 5 years (cohabitated for 3) moved out of my house without any explanation. I accused him of cheating without a whole lot of proof other than it felt like it and I had found his profile on Zoosk and match. He was always very defensive about not having cheated.

So I see on his Facebook profile a 1 year anniversary with his newest girl. Wow! it's like right there in black and white that he was cheating since it has only been 11 months since he moved out. I sent her an e-mail about it. I don't want her to be in the same trap I was in, but somehow he talked his way out of it, probably told her how crazy I was ( like he told me about his x before me)

Anyway, feeling super angry and furious, A year later. Shouldn't I be over this by now? Why should I care at this point.

jenlozi 03/23/2015

OH, and he was living rent free for 2 1/2 years. I feel like I should charge him for back rent!

jaymee4647 03/23/2015

You need to for you. Mourn the person he was when you met. But it seems like it's his MO... All of his Ex's are crazy (maybe crazy for trusting him) she will find out what kind of person he is. IC would be good for you.

refurb 03/23/2015

you won't get over it
it takes time to recover and learn to live with the betrayal
you will though

pinkrose28 03/23/2015

My ex and I discussed getting married and did so in great detail. Then one random day he breaks up with me also and has never given me a single reason. He also has a dating profile that I also recently found. I don't have any actual proof he was seeing other people but deep down I do wonder. I don't know how long it takes to get over someone but right now I think I am in a place of anger. I have a lot of anger towards him and I do feel this anger may be preventing me to heal. I think staying angry is still giving him some power over me in some strange way. He clearly isn't thinking about me I guess its just me thinking about him.

jenlozi 03/23/2015

pinkrose, sorry you are going through this too.

jenlozi 03/23/2015

pinkrose, sorry you are going through this too.

I did 4 months of individual counseling to wich I was pronounced ready to get back out there. Ha

pinkrose28 03/24/2015

Do you feel therapy helped at all? do you think it was useful to you?

jenlozi 03/25/2015

Yes, therapy was definitely useful. mostly she confirmed that I should trust my instincts and that I was not paranoid for feeling like he was not being forthcoming from day 1. coming from a bad divorce, I felt like I was just being over sensitive.

She recommended several books from -5 love languages, boundaries, The New Science of Adult Attachment, How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You SAFE PEOPLE and Avoid Those That Arent

jenlozi 03/26/2015

when I get down about it I have to realize that it was not about me or anything I did. It is his issues. This is his pattern, I was just fooled by him and that is my mistake that I will try not to repeat. I just feel for the people that are in his path in the future and wish I could put a tattoo on his giant forehead. 'Girl's beware; He is not a keeper'

shoretimenow 03/28/2015

I think that to move forward, you need to close this chapter in your life so you can make a new one with someone who wants to be with you.

As long as you hold onto him and anger, no one else can break through. That door has closed, don't keep trying to break it open. You deserve more and you deserve better. Don't let anyone rent space in your head unless they are a good tenant.

Let her find out about him and their relationship run its course. In the most positive height of your relationship, if his ex started saying stuff and contacting you, would you believe her??

Nothing says FU like silence and moving on and working on number one....you.....The happiest moments in life are when you let go of what you can't change. You aren't going to change him. He is what he is.

I know its so hard to do.

jenlozi 03/29/2015

Wise words. Thank you shoretimenow.

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