Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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onyx11 04/11/2013

I just got back from vacation with the boys in FL (I havent taken a vacation in years) and they really deserved it after this past year they had a blast just not having to be in school and swimming and going to the beach etc.

What I did notice down there is there are a lot of folks with super money I am well aware of this after living in Miami for 3 years (people having super money). I was just thinking If I had super money I wouldnt really have to work much (I spend 3 hours a day just commuting back and forth) I could just spend time with the boys hire lawyers to get full custody have maids to help clean up and baby sisters to help watch them with me. Just hang out with them and teach them about life and spend quality time with them.

I know its not realistic but I could throw money at my problems and use that to help the situation. I think a lot of the times the amount of money we all have lost due to infidelity is astounding. If I had more of it I could use it to help forget about it and just spend time with the boys. I know it wont make everything go away but it would help ease the pain.

redlegs 04/11/2013

You know, I get what you are saying. If I had unlimited money, I might have handled my H's affair differently and things could have turned out different. However, I will say that I have seen money be the ruin of people in general. Sometimes people stick around BECAUSE of money. They don't want to give up their lifestyle or they don't want the other spouse to get what they believe is theirs. I think real folks like you and I have to deal with our problems and not hide behind money. That makes us stronger, in my opinion. No offense to anyone here who has a few bucks. I don't know anyone's financial situation, I am just looking at itt from the perspective of someone who has just enough to get by.

pinkpony66 04/11/2013

There is a much bigger lesson to be learned by watching a father work hard, earn his rewards wether they be big or small, then spending every waking moment because there is a bottomless pit of cashflow.

You work hard, they see that and they will work hard. Of course there is a balance and we can't work 24/7 but hard work is a respectable behavior.

Now I'm not saying winning the lottery wouldn't bring me some great comforts, but only comforts not happiness.

deleted_user 04/11/2013

I do agree that you are setting a good example for your sons. But also agree that the money thing is a factor in the whole affair thing.

The other woman tried to convince my husband that I hung around in the marriage just for the money.

How about the money spent on the hotel rooms, dinner, drinks, etc. I am going to add up all those expenses, and spend a comparable amount on myself . . . soon . . . it's painful logging on to that hotel website, but all their stays are recorded there!

Unlimited money would be fun, but look at all those celebrities who have tons of money? Aren't they the worse example for clean living?!

thinkaboutit 04/11/2013

I saw a really interesting documentary. They did a study and (in the US), money buys happiness up to about $75k per year. Above that it doesn't bring any more happiness - people in the study were at the same happiness level up in to the millions. I guess below about $75k you can't take care of the basics and above it, more stuff adds more complications (Enron takes your money or your Ferrari breaks more than your Corolla, people befriend you for $, more time and resources for affairs, etc.). I often think my divorce would have been much uglier if we had things to fight over, lol.

Blindsidedagain 04/11/2013

While money does not bring happiness, poverty does bring sadness.

CS needs dental surgery that we cannot afford. My dog needs surgery that we cannot have done either. It has a detrimental effect on them and I can't stand having to watch them suffer.

onyx11 04/11/2013

I do know the more money - the more problems - but if you have money you can do a lot more -

- send my kids to private school
- get a bigger house
- not have to rent out one of my rooms
- pay down debt caused by this mess
- get a lawyer and fight her for full custody
- travel
- hire help

I do work hard and very long hours for what I have and have achieved a lot but as some of you know since we do - do better - I have to pay child support etc. I have had to pay since she moved out - so its like I had to pay for her to cheat on me. Thats awesome.

If I had a ton of money - I wouldnt care. I drive a prius so I am not spending money on gas. I don't spend much money only on things the boys need period.

I know I am day dreaming but --- I am day dreaming...

deleted_user 04/11/2013

All of you have made very good points.

I chose not to fight for anything throughout my divorce, including child support for my daughter because I was ready to get out. Though we didn't have much, we were happy renting a trailer. No more drama, and no more worries of his infidelity.

On the other hand, I too, wish I have "enough" money to fight for full custody and maybe buy a new car. Like Onyx, I drive 3 hours back and forth work. The commute puts a toll on my mileage. Plus changing a pair of tires every 12 months, and oil change are expensive too.

Blindsidedagain 04/11/2013

So, onyx....you dream of a maid....I dream of getting necessary surgery for the 2 most important things in my life.

It's all a matter of perspective.

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