Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
man, what a weekend...
the rollercoaster for me just keeps twisting
really crashed this week.... saturday morning my WW and I talked and she asked if i had reached the end of my rope...i said YES
she asked if i wanted a divorce...i said YES
i told her "i either want you to leave or die"
i just felt i couldnt do this anymore....
after that conversation, i took my kids to july 4th festivities with out my WW and started to feel good...felt alittle normal
came back home, went to sisters for dinner...inlaws were there as well...my anxiety just hit the ceiling and I had to leave...went home and watched movies in my basement until my wife came home
had discussions about life apart...divorce...etc...
Sunday we took my kids to an amusment park about 1 hr and change away
i started thinking...well i know from the past that when i consciously away from her and dont allow myself to take any type of comfort from handholding, kissing, intimacy..etc from her...i just spin my wheels and get crazier and crazier...so i thought..this is not working....what if i try something and just tell her what i want...even though it may sound selfish...like...i want to hold you..i want to kiss you...i want you to just hold me...i want to be intimate with you.....
so we are driving to the park...get off the highway...and i pull off to the side of the road.
she asks "what are you doing?"
i say "i KNOW what i WANT!"
im sure she was thinking the worst given the last few conversations...but i took her hand, looked her in the eye and said
"i want you......to wait for me. i'm not there yet. i don't know how long it will take me to get there. but please wait for me. please hold onto me even when i push you away"
we had a wonderful day w our kids at the park
my anxiety was practically zero the rest of the day
i found myself staying in the PRESENT all through the days adventure
a few times thoughts would drift into my mind, but they just passed over ...and i stayed focused in the present, swimming w my son, doing water slides with my daughter, PDA with my wife.
i enjoyed being with my family...enjoyed being w my kids.... and i havent been in that mindset for months as every small kid thing they would do would just send me over the edge stress wise.
so..yes...im on the coaster... and im making a climb up today....
who knows what tomorrow will bring for me.
but i do feel better today
i feel calmer
i dont think im crazy.... i think im just hurting so bad, i dont know what way is up....but i do know that i find tremendous relief and comfort and serenity when i allow myself to open up to my WW
so...for now...im going to stay ..or try to stay in this place....and just catch my breath for a bit
the rollercoaster for me just keeps twisting
really crashed this week.... saturday morning my WW and I talked and she asked if i had reached the end of my rope...i said YES
she asked if i wanted a divorce...i said YES
i told her "i either want you to leave or die"
i just felt i couldnt do this anymore....
after that conversation, i took my kids to july 4th festivities with out my WW and started to feel good...felt alittle normal
came back home, went to sisters for dinner...inlaws were there as well...my anxiety just hit the ceiling and I had to leave...went home and watched movies in my basement until my wife came home
had discussions about life apart...divorce...etc...
Sunday we took my kids to an amusment park about 1 hr and change away
i started thinking...well i know from the past that when i consciously away from her and dont allow myself to take any type of comfort from handholding, kissing, intimacy..etc from her...i just spin my wheels and get crazier and crazier...so i thought..this is not working....what if i try something and just tell her what i want...even though it may sound selfish...like...i want to hold you..i want to kiss you...i want you to just hold me...i want to be intimate with you.....
so we are driving to the park...get off the highway...and i pull off to the side of the road.
she asks "what are you doing?"
i say "i KNOW what i WANT!"
im sure she was thinking the worst given the last few conversations...but i took her hand, looked her in the eye and said
"i want you......to wait for me. i'm not there yet. i don't know how long it will take me to get there. but please wait for me. please hold onto me even when i push you away"
we had a wonderful day w our kids at the park
my anxiety was practically zero the rest of the day
i found myself staying in the PRESENT all through the days adventure
a few times thoughts would drift into my mind, but they just passed over ...and i stayed focused in the present, swimming w my son, doing water slides with my daughter, PDA with my wife.
i enjoyed being with my family...enjoyed being w my kids.... and i havent been in that mindset for months as every small kid thing they would do would just send me over the edge stress wise.
so..yes...im on the coaster... and im making a climb up today....
who knows what tomorrow will bring for me.
but i do feel better today
i feel calmer
i dont think im crazy.... i think im just hurting so bad, i dont know what way is up....but i do know that i find tremendous relief and comfort and serenity when i allow myself to open up to my WW
so...for now...im going to stay ..or try to stay in this place....and just catch my breath for a bit
These are the things that you really need to work on--affection is nice, but it will not hold a relationship together.
You are right, it is a roller coaster ride. I wish you peace as you go through this.
She has been open and honest since dday in DEC 2014..she confused to 8 affairs in 15 months... answered all my questions...details...acts...locations...etc...
has been going to MC and IC
has taken and accepted full ownership for her choices
yes...some times i still think its an act...and i can't trust her...and i wait for the shoe to drop
sometimes i think "why bother"...lets jus divorce..but we have two young children to think about
today...im staying in this mindset....i need a break from my constant back and forth in my head
first time that has happened since dday...that i had a thought...or memory....and it was a HAPPY memory
both involved something happening or something one of us said, that ended in laughing so hard we couldn't breath
Just a few things to think about. She does sound like she is trying hard, but 8 affairs in 15 months sounds like there are some serious problems that need to be addressed. To me, having multiple affairs is a symptom of something more serious going on, much moreso than if she had made a mistake and had just one affair. I am glad that you guys are doing MC and IC.