Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
So if the BS has the phases of Denial Anger Depression Acceptance we move on what happens to the WS in their stages in the FOG?
I can assume excitement in the beginning then after the FOG lifts its ok not so exciting anymore dude/girl doesnt text me as much sneaking around has pretty much ended.
Realization WS talking (saying this) ok this is sort of like my marriage now this person is now putting pressures on me this is getting a bit old and this person was willing to cheat with me my BS is moving on.
WS still thinking ok this kind of suxs now everyone knows what I did and what a mess I now have made for myself and this AP is kind of creepy and crappy and so on and so forth.
FOG waking time.
Any WS is that sort of the whole thing but I can assuming this takes 1 2 years till the full effect of all the WS as done will hit them.
Thoughts?
I can assume excitement in the beginning then after the FOG lifts its ok not so exciting anymore dude/girl doesnt text me as much sneaking around has pretty much ended.
Realization WS talking (saying this) ok this is sort of like my marriage now this person is now putting pressures on me this is getting a bit old and this person was willing to cheat with me my BS is moving on.
WS still thinking ok this kind of suxs now everyone knows what I did and what a mess I now have made for myself and this AP is kind of creepy and crappy and so on and so forth.
FOG waking time.
Any WS is that sort of the whole thing but I can assuming this takes 1 2 years till the full effect of all the WS as done will hit them.
Thoughts?
She dumped him and he still will not cooperate with prosecutor. He will actually allow the old whore to get away with this. She must really be something. As much as I loved my ex, I would not have stolen or lied for him, certainly would not do time for him. His adoration for her is unfathomable to me. I would like to understand it all, but can't.
I have never gotten wind of any regret he may have about leaving me behind in favor of this horrid nightmare of an outcome. In fact, he seems to blame me entirely. Odd, because I did not have any idea what was going on. Neither of us have any criminal records.... this is an unbelievable pass we have come to.
I have never recovered, and since I consider love to be an indispensable part of life and am aware there is no possibility of pairing off again at 60, I don't expect to be happy again. Since his madness destroyed my life, I wish I could understand it. But that is what madness is.... incomprehensible acts...
Hope my case is the extremity and your mileage varies.
But when we face what we have done head on and allow ourselves to see all the damage within and without, it is excruciatingly painful and very much like recovering from a devastating illness or disease; lots of painful excavating of the wounds, soul searching, therapy, life changes, etc....
My A did not actually "play out", as I was caught when it was still at a high point. I was stunned for a while though, feeling like a victim, and it took about 3 mos after Dday for the full effects to hit me and knock me down and for me to drop the victim mode and take full responsibility for what I had done.
I often wonder how it would have gone if the fog had begun to wear off while I was still in the A. I have, however, read enough stories over at Cheaters Anonymous to get the idea. i.e. the struggle to end contact that never seems to be fully successful, the wrestling with the issue of telling or not telling, trying to focus on the marriage when the spouse doesn't even know about it and you haven't even managed NC yet.
In some ways, I am glad I never had to deal with all that. Either way, it's no picnic and we only have ourselves to blame.