I don't think it really rebuilds trust per say because you can always have it in your mind that they are just hiding it better, which could be true.

I asked my wife to provide all her passwords, cut out facebook, and put a GPS app on her phone.

She didn't hesitate to say yes. The act of voluntarily without hesitation probably helps more than me checking up on her and finding nothing.

A criminal isn't any less dangerous if you put behind bars or under surveillance. A criminal who actively seeks out rehabilitation and change would though.

I check up on her less now after 1.5 years but if I do catch her then I will be divorcing her just like you.

Add me to that list!

I highly recommend spying. Cheaters lie.

My cheating H assured me that his A was over. I had a nagging feeling though that things were not quite right. I found out that they were back together. That's when I hired a lawyer.

My H's world came crashing down around him. And he finally had to face the consequences of his actions AND he went into IC. I was one step away from done. He was the one who worked (finally) to keep us together.

If I had not checked up on him, he probably would still be keeping his double life going. I just don't know. I makes me sick to think about it.

Cheating is fun. Duping us is fun. It's all a game to them. I learned that
planning my freedom is fun, too! So my plan is ready to go, if necessary.

After 3 years I still from time to time check up on him. I have access to his everything, including work phone and emails. I still look at teensave.com. He knows. It’s not the first thing I think about daily anymore. He was quick to give me full access which was reassuring.

I use a free Life360 app, but I like how teensave can track call/texts. May switch to that one if it is free.

I use life360 as well. I also think it's normal tgat we don't trust our partners. They did enough to not be trustworthy. I often geab the iPad and check history or go through his phone randomly. I think it's just a way to find some form of confidence back. So I get wgat ur doing if that's what you need to gain some tryst by all means why not.
I find myself more spying to "prove he's still cheating " each time I don't find anything I feel kind of sad with myself tgat I have now become this paranoia person. But I guess that's our reality they made us like that.
I hope your husband stays truthfull. I hope we all find some sort of inner peace one day to feel less and less the urge to spy as I sure don't want to live like that. But it's a very normal behaviour I think for B.S.

Yes. In the beginning it was that I simply had no trust for her and assumed that she was still doing things behind my back.

As time went on I checked more for peace of mind, uncertainty, or after a triggering thought.

I think now since there haven't been any indications she is still on that path it is also just to prove that she isn't still cheating as I doubt she is or intends to.

The frequency has also went down, unless she is unexpectedly late. Even then she is good at calling me or messaging me right away.

One hint is open their browser and use paste function to see if they have a secret email account or something.

What hidden device are you using ?

It's an app that tracks the cellphone.

I went into teensave.com and it had choices that looked like porn. I am looking to check up on my cheater also and need some advice for this. Anything you can help me with, I'd appreciate.

It must be teensafe.com.
Question: Does the app need to be downloaded on the cheaters phone? I'd like to find some way that he won't know I'm checking on him.

My update: So I noticed his behavior was not changing: did not get rid of his apartment even though he moved back, still hiding his phone, occasionally distant during sex. So I got a USB voice activated recorder that you can put in the car. It is tiny and discreet and then you plug it into your computer to hear any converation he had in the car. No need to tap into his phone or computer, but you have to be patient. I know he likes to run away into hi car to talk, so I knew I'd catch him. Yesterday I heard him talking to a woman but he had the radio on too loud I did not hear enough. It was clearly more than professional and I thought it was his mistress but I suspected it could even be someone else. Well, he did end his affair with this woman, but he was grooming another one! Tonight I heard what was recorded today and he was talking to his guy friend about this woman named Michelle who is also married and they have been texrting back and forth apparently and he likes her because she is married but unhappy because he is older and not giving her sex. Not sure if he has actually had sex with her, but the grooming/calling/texting/planning is MORE than enough for me. This little recorder really helped me see what a TOTAL scoundrel he is. I had NO idea he would do this. I am done and kicked him out tonight and getting the divorce. I actually feel relieved to know the truth and ready to move on. No regrets spyng when I felt suspicious. He gave me NO reason to trust and now I know why. You can get this on Amazon. Voice activated recorder. It is awesome.

To be frank you've caught him several times continuing his cheating ways and still haven't kicked him out and divorced him.

I hope you actually follow through this time as each time you take him back it is telling him that you are a doormat and can be easily manipulated back into the relationship.

Make sure your lawyer gets you child support and alimony. You don't want to teach your daughter that she should continue to take this type of abuse and treatment from her significant other in the future.

Your husband is a terrible person. Worse than that is one that is unrepentant and doesn't want to change. These types will spend their lives hurting people for gain. Don't allow him to keep doing this to you.

Thank you forward motion for your honest and true advice and this charade is OVER. He is a disgusting pig and he can go make someone else miserable.

Oh he will...

I'm just glad it won't be you.

Good for you discovering what you felt all along to be true. The validation is important for many of us, as we rarely get any kind of actual truth from our cheaters. I wish you all the best rebuilding your life!