I hate her for what she has done to me but more so I hate her for the way she reacted when he left her. She called me, harassed me, left notes in my car, tried to tell me how to treat my H so he would be happy, threatened him, for goodness sake he has not spoken to her in almost a year and her # appeared on my called ID last week. Accident? NO WAY! I took the high road and neither one of us acknowledged her call which was a big step for me but whatever her motive was worked because it upset me which means she won, again!

I have no feelings at all for the OM. Any anger is directed at either my W or myself for electing to ignore the signs and gut feelings.

While I have no feelings toward the OM I am pissed off that although I hired him as a driver I never expected he would be driving my W.

My W now hates the OM and for some reason his xGF. She says there was no emotions at the time but I find that hard to believe given her current feelings.

Of course I have felt that way about the other woman. Your feelings are normal. Only time will allow you to put things into perspective. Several years down the road since my significant other engaged in an affair, flirting with women over the internet, phone I realize that my significant other needed to have internal controls, to contain himself and deal with the relationship problems in a more constructive way. God knows what he told the other woman like many of them do. "I'm single, my wife does not understand me etc.

Remember as long as you are angry with the other woman, it keeps you emotionally connected to your husband.

My ex wife owns this. The Om was just a standing prick in a line up of many. He took what was offered to him and he is nothing to me.

Hate is an understatement in my case.

I don't hate her, but I probably would if I had to deal with her in any way. She will never be someone with stellar characteristics, but in truth, even though it was so incredibly painful, she did me a favor. She took an abusive man off my hands. Wow, I honestly never would have thought I could say that lol

If I had to see her, ie, my ex and therefore her were actively involved in my son's life, I would probably hate her. Being forced to have someone interact with your child when they obviously do not have your child's best interest at heart....yeah, that would be awful! Props to those that have to do that!

I hate what my H did to me and us, but I don't hate him. I do hate the OW, but I am not really sure that hate is the appropriate word.

She was my friend, she spent time with my children and my family. She has spent a lot of time and energy trying to hurt me. A long line of manipulations, set ups, and just basic moments of torture.

I say it is more than hatred because as much as I do hate her, I feel nothing for her too. I am one of those people who hear about someone getting hurt on the news or dying and I always stop for just a moment and feel for that person or their family. I feel for the pain and suffering that complete strangers go through. I have never really wished harm on anyone, even those who have hurt me in the past.

But with her it is very different. Right after d-day when the affair was played out as some big mistake neither of them meant to do, I wanted her to be able to find happiness elsewhere in her life. Now, after all that she has done, I could care less if she has another happy day in her whole entire lifetime. I don't spend time wishing for bad things to happen to her or try to make bad things happen to her, but if something did; I wouldn't feel a thing about it.

If someone told me she had been hurt in a car wreck, I would feel nothing. If she lost her job, I would feel nothing. If she died today, I would feel nothing for her at all. There would be no sympathy, no pangs of sadness for her suffering or pain. I wouldn't really find joy or comfort in it either, I think I would just feel nothing. It is what it is and she reaped what she sowed. Consequences of her actions, end of story.

I would be concerned if I felt that way about others or had that attitude toward anyone who wronged me in any way, but I only feel that way for her and that really doesn't worry me at all.

I don't know if hate is the word but something very close to it. She is LUCKY she moved out of state before I found out. I am actually afraid of her ever coming back because if I ever saw her I don't think I could control myself, I think I would beat her to a bloody pulp and wouldn't stop till someone pulled me off of her. The one time I completely lost it and decided to leave my whole family (post partum on top of it being 4 months post Dday, not a good combo), I headed East, I had a mixture of plans in my head that included getting back at my H with another man and finding the little whore and making sure she never forgot me,

I finally had to forgive the men my wife had affairs with. She's the one that said yes, she was'nt raped. So how could I forgive her and then not them. It took a long time to first forgive her but its been three years and i'm starting to heal. I relized the anger and hate was hurting my health and spirit. I'd drive around with A baseball bat waiting at the end of there streets sitting out side there work. Finally I saw him and followed him. My heart was pounding to the point of feeling sick and I got out of the car and went up to him. I asked him if he know who I was and he said yes.
I looked at him and felt nothing but pure hatred and I could have killed him on the spot. I think he new it and said i'm so sorry I new this day would come. All I could say was why and he said that we became friends the I fell in love with her and it cost me my marriage. We talk a little more and he confirmed some fact that my wife told me. That was it I walk away. For any of you out there you have to forgive or leave hanging on the fence only hurts you in the long run. I'm glad we stayed after 32 years and a new grand baby thing will work.. Its going to take a lot of tears and time

I guess I would have to say that yes, I do hate her. If she were lied to or misled in any way by my H I would feel differently. But they worked together and she was well aware of the fact that he was married. So she simply didn't give a shit about me at all, didn't care what this would do to me. How could I have anything but contempt for her?

oh socrushed, for me- I do definitely have contempt for her. And when she is crying about what an abusive man my ex is, well, I'll probably smile a little. But I guess for me, I feel that by saying hate, that means sending negative energy out to her, more like an active role in the karmic backlash that will be coming her way. I don't wish her ill as she already has that in my personality disordered ex, but I would still smile when it happens lol