Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I have been fighting with this for month's. Should I say something to the person my wife cheated with. I have wrote letters and never sent them. I just feel like he needs to know what part he played and that he didn't get away with anything. Is it a good or bad idea. I don't want to open a whole new can of worms with this. My wife has had 0 contact with him since dday 5 months ago. Plus we are moving forward and our marriage has been doing good.
First i think you need to decide if this temptation to write or communicate is for revenge/punishment to him or closure for you. I personally feel finding closure is never a bad thing but revenge can be. Revenge often brings temporary satisfaction but still leaves open ends and lingering bitterness or hate. Where closure is usually a step towards peace and acceptance.
Maybe you can practice writing a letter until you get down in words exactly what you need to say. Nothing more nothing less. Then sit on that for a bit. Run it by your wife. Continue to heal your heart ans marriage. If that need to send it continues within, well then send it.
I've often felt the need to have a conversation with my H AP ( also baby momma). As time passes that conversation ( the one in my head) changes because life changes my feelings change and what I would want to say becomes quite simple and much less about hatred but more about her expressing gratitude for the love and compassion I show her son when he is with us.
Anyway like I said I really can't advise that you do or don't send a letter. At the endof the day you have to live with the choice either way. Ds is a great place to bounce ideas off of because we csn all have completely different valid points on the same issue.
Good luck with rebuilding. Here's a ds page set up for those working on rebuilding. http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/rebuilding-marriage-after-infidelity