Sandy, I get why you may want to do this, but why are you even searching this out to begin with? Is there a part of you that still is attached to your ex? And if so, I would certainly understand that, as history IS history and it's not something that just disappears from your mind.

Believe me, I understand fully how you'd love to send this tidbit of information on. It's a form of payback, I suppose. And I myself have been tempted countless times to be the bearer of bad news to the OM's wife. But I know if and when I did it, I wouldn't feel good at all. That's their business ultimately.

I think by you asking, you yourself would feel guilty too. You know yourself that this is their deceiptfulness and it shouldn't have any bearing on your current life and situation. Let them build their own house of glass.

Sorry, the devil in me says "hell yeah", but the reasonable side says let it be. I think you'll appreciate your reasonable side too in the end.

-TheRule

I would tell. It's only been a year for me so I guess my reasonable side isn't very well developed yet.

Your ex screwed you over......Now he is getting screwed over.

Don't be the bearer of this news, as then YOU become the source of the discovery (which can get complicated BTW).

If he doesn't find out on his own, his relationship will fail anyway.
A person cannot cheat and be invested in their primary relationship.

So what you guys are saying is that if (since) she's already cheating on him their relationship can't be that great anyway. Chances are he's miserable - I don't need to rub his nose in it, do I?


But I shore do want to!!!!!!!

I wouldn't bother, he isn't worth your time. Besides Karma is a bitch huh? ;)

Yes Sandy.....she was willing to have an affair and contribute to a marriage breakup (yours).

NOW, she is already cheating again......what does this say about this woman?

Hmmm...I love the irony in this.

If it were me??? Hell yeah I would tell him! I think it is funny to see someone who has broken someones heart is now on the flip side. Karma people! Seems he got what he deserved.

If I wasn't so screwed up I might say that he will eventually figure it out and to let it happen in time. I am only 7 months out so I am not all that stable. Lol!

Maybe you could write her and tell her she made your day?

Don't listen to me. ;)

Oh yeah. I'd do it in a ny minute!!

In your response to #4-Like many here & elsewhere, he may have no idea that his relationship is not great (or good). Many who are being cheated on have no idea they are being cheated on because things seem to be going well with their spouses...being told "I love you", having sex, going on vacation, going out to dinners, no arguing about anything, etc. People dont always cheat because there's trouble in the relationship.

I say rub it in!! Hope you can think of a good fake email name, but make sure you put something interesting in the subject line...like "(her name) is cheating on you dumbass.

Would you have wanted someone to tell you earlier than you found out? You just doing him a service, right ;)

I'd hire a skywriter, or maybe a barbershop quatrtet singing telegram...

Part of the torment as a BS is recalling all of the times when you suspected. Why relieve him of that? Keep him in the dark. Let him do the insanity provoking work of discovery all on his own.

I wouldn't waste another second of my life on these two-they have taken way to much of your precious time already.

It will come out-you won't have to lift a finger-and by doing so you'll feel much better about yourself. Why stoop to their level?

I'm a firm believer - what goes around comes around. My point proven once again.

Sending you support!

Check it out.....

I met a friend on an infidelity forum.
His wife was cheating on him for 5 years with his best friend.

TODAY......he learned that the OM is going to jail for 8 to 25 years for child molestation. My friend thinks the victim was the OM's own daughter.

I would tell just because it's funny. However, you probably should be past this point. I'm divorced too, and cutting him out of my life was the greatest gift i ever got, that I didn't even realize I wanted. So, it's probably a step in the wrong direction, but it would be funny as hell.

You know, there is always a chance that they have an open relationship - or that he knows what is going on. IF so, he will really burst your bubble when you tell him. We never know how a relationship is, unless we're in it.

It's none of your business.......move on and be fabulous.