although I have no direct knowledge but highly suspect my former bf who is a shrink is a sex addict...and I feel that it is a huge personality flaw that literally cant be fixed..but then again..I am not married to him nor do I have children with him.

I equate sex addiction like being a pedophile.. it is incurable since the perpetorator must WANT to change and they cant avoid SEX like illegal drugs or alcohol..... so be prepared for years of conflict and heartache... get yourself std tested and demand he use protection ALWAYS should he stray outside the marriage cause you know he will again and again if you choose tostay with him.

Make sure he gets himself and yourself tested every 6 months and get whopping health insurance.. you know herpes affects one in 5 adults in the usa and is incurable.....nice odds huh.....

so sorry for your pain..... we are here for you...

my two cents worth..but remember my advice is worth as much as you paid for it... perhaps seeks advise from a professional

I CAN RELATE!! My H has a sex addiction. He had a shitty childhood where no one listened to him, he was abused and ignored. So he craved attention. Fast forward to adulthood, he was online with so many women chatting them up and doing God knows what. The problem is that when we met and married, he didn't stop. He hid it pretty well but of course it came out!

The whole addiction thing worries me along with the fact that like you, I can't give him all the attention that he wants or craves. Really it's just not possible for one person to feed all that. That's why my H was talking to 40 or 50 women!

I feel for you! If you want to talk, just ping me.

Thanks ladies. Designgirl38, no, we're never going to be able to give them the attention they crave. I mean think about it: they have a goldmine of love and affection right beside them, and they look over it for something that isn't real!!! Why do we have to prove ourselves to the person who knows that we're there for them? Makes me so angry!!!

Hey look what i found...





Sexual Addiction
Introduction to sexual addiction
What behaviors are associated with sexual addiction?
How is sexual addiction treated?

Introduction

The term "sexual addiction" is used to describe the behavior of a person who has an unusually intense sex drive or an obsession with sex. Sex and the thought of sex tend to dominate the sex addict's thinking, making it difficult to work or engage in healthy personal relationships.

Sex addicts engage in distorted thinking, often rationalizing and justifying their behavior and blaming others for problems. They generally deny they have a problem and make excuses for their actions.

Sexual addiction also is associated with risk-taking. A person with a sex addiction engages in various forms of sexual activity, despite the potential for negative and/or dangerous consequences. In addition to damaging the addict's relationships and interfering with his or her work and social life, a sexual addiction also puts the person at risk for emotional and physical injury.

For some people, the sex addiction progresses to involve illegal activities, such as exhibitionism (exposing oneself in public), making obscene phone calls, or molestation. However, it should be noted that sex addicts do not necessarily become sex offenders.


Behaviors associated with sexual addiction include:

Compulsive masturbation (self-stimulation)
Multiple affairs (extra-marital affairs)
Multiple or anonymous sexual partners and/or one-night stands
Consistent use of pornography
Unsafe sex
Phone or computer sex (cybersex)
Prostitution or use of prostitutes
Exhibitionism
Obsessive dating through personal ads
Voyeurism (watching others) and/or stalking
Sexual harassment
Molestation/rape
Generally, a person with a sex addiction gains little satisfaction from the sexual activity and forms no emotional bond with his or her sex partners. In addition, the problem of sex addiction often leads to feelings of guilt and shame. A sex addict also feels a lack of control over the behavior, despite negative consequences (financial, health, social, and emotional).


How is sexual addiction treated?

Most sex addicts live in denial of their addiction, and treating an addiction is dependent on the person accepting and admitting that he or she has a problem. In many cases, it takes a significant eventsuch as the loss of a job, the break-up of a marriage, an arrest, or health crisisto force the addict to admit to his or her problem.

Treatment of sexual addiction focuses on controlling the addictive behavior and helping the person develop a healthy sexuality. Treatment includes education about healthy sexuality, individual counseling, and marital and/or family therapy. Support groups and 12 step recovery programs for people with sexual addictions (like Sex Addicts Anonymous) also are available. In some cases, medications used to treat obsessive-compulsive disorder may be used to curb the compulsive nature of the sex addiction. These medications include Prozac and Anafranil.




Reviewed by the doctors at The Cleveland Clinic Department of Psychiatry and Psychology.

Reviewed by Daniel Perlman, MD, on September 24, 2007.

Portions of this page The Cleveland Clinic 2000-2003


Last Editorial Review: 12/26/2007

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Sexual Addictio

Thanks so much, everybody! 2bhealed, you really went above and beyond what I expected from a reply. It mean so much to me that you went through this trouble. I just wonder, with everything we've all been through, will marriage even exist when my kids are grownups? I mean, I don't see men getting any better. What with the Internet, and sites like Ashley Martin and male friends and family members who treat cheating like a rite of passage! Of course, they have lots of help with women who think it's perfectly fine to sleep with married men. The future is not looking too bright, here.

I was married to a died in the wool confirmed Narcissist. They can't be fixed because they dont think they have a problem. That everyone is like them and they are entitled to do what they want when they want.

I would say get out while you can. You need to study Narcissism to make your decision. The ex was and still is a serial cheater. I found his cheating pattern after the diovrce. The number of women I suspect is huge.

Yes, and they get worse as they get older. I also know that firsthand.

Oh, my husband is definitely a narcissist. I have been studying it since I read, "Perfection: A Memoir of Betrayal and Renewal,'' by Julie Metz. Her husband was a narcissist, too. But she didn't learn about the disorder until after he died. That's when she found out about all of the women in his life, including a woman whose daughter she kept, while she and Metz's husband slept together in the afternoons. It's a very powerful book. When I read the words, "narcissistic personality disorder,'' I immediately started looking for research on it. And I found a ton! I also read, "Help! I'm in Love with a Narcissist!'' Now that book shows case-by-case how narcissists operate, and how their victims should go about dealing with them, or not dealing with them. It's very eye-opening. I believe this disorder is so wide-spread that it's a major reason that we're all on this board now. It's a very sad world, indeed!

Yes that is my stbx my therapist has said that this is his addiction and it is the same as being an alcoholic or drug addict. He meets these women online and at first from what I could tell he was just e-mailing them, but then he started chatting on his cell phone and that is when I finally had enough when I took him back and he promised to stop and didn't. he told me he did this because he felt he didn't matter. my therapist said that talking to the women is like getting a fix as you would from a drug. And I have to tell you its true he would be in a nasty mood go out, I guess call his women and come back in a better mood. This realization came to me later that this was a pattern. He cannot stop they make him feel like he is such a great guy and they can do this because they do not have a day to day relationship with him. That is why he picks women who live out of state. He even said that he picks out of state because it is more of a fantasy. He had told me this before when we where going to try to make it work and discussing what he was doing, and him promising he was going to stop. Well he never did that is why he is my stbx