Hi Nanayaya,
I DO believe in second chances and forgiveness.

I am trying to forgive the things I cannot understand.

My husband was horrible to me and he is veryremorseful.
I am just beginning to see how much HE LOVES ME, after 26 months since d-day.

Trust, in that naive, "we love each other soooo much!" way, is NOT A GOAL!

I simply cannot believe, I ever trusted anyone that much! That is THE MAIN REASON this has been so hard.

A little trust, a lot of wide open eyes, a little checking up on him now and then, that is the likely forecast for the rest of our lives.

Why stay? Because I NOW will feel that way with anyone, for the rest of my life.

I believe in forgiveness if only for my own sake. Forgetting is another matter. It's been 18 months and I have a hard time not bringing it up everyday. We are working on things and he says he loves me and just made a horrible mistake. He treats me better than ever and we communicate much more. I think he is genuine but have a very hard time trusting him. I wish you the best.
Reena

I believe !! Otherwise all my efforts and trying so hard to work with my husband would all be in vain. I haven't reached the spot in the tunnel where I see the light at the end of it...But I think I'm too far in to turn around, Hoping we're getting close.

I believe that there can be true forgiveness but only with time...

not sure if the trust can totally come back.. I will no longer take my H`s word at face value. He will have to account to me where he has been and who with, but that is what its going to take if he wants to be in this marriage..

in time forgiveness will come, if we want the marriage to work then we have to work through this.. I used to think we had to work past it or around it but now know we have to work through the affair and the issues that we have(that I didn`t realize were there)

Nanayaya, Yes, I think that we can forgive and trust again... If I didn't I would not have stayed with my husband...
I can see that he is very sorry for his wrong choices and his betrayal....
I won't let him say his mistake, because it was not a mistake but a thought through decision to go outside our marriage for his sexual and emotional needs...I told him that he chose his actions and that it wasn't my fault for what he did....
But, saying all that, he cried and admitted that he knew now that he didn't love me enough or appreciate me during that time and he begged my forgiveness...
He wants to start over with a more open relationship and I know that I still love him very much, and I can't see throwing over 40 years of marriage away, because I can remember our good times together and our two children...
I know it will take time and forgiveness on my part and kindness, lots of work and true love on his part...
I hope my story helps you!

I don't think there can be. At least not a return to complete trust. I forgave and it didn't help. Best not to cheat to sta rt with, once it's done it will always be there waiting to pop up again.

I believed ... my ex did not. I was willing to forgive, work hard, and move forward with our relationship. She refused to forgive, gave up, and bailed out.

It takes two to make a marriage work. Because we were not on the same page when it came to trying to salvage our marriage, I was not able to try and re-establish trust. That having been said, there are things that I do not trust my ex with ... trust is either earned or given as a gift when you commit to someone. When that trust is betrayed it may be impossible to re-establish.

Oh honey I do believe in forgivness but along with that you must let go. That seems to be the hard thing. It's not fair to either of you to stay in a relationship if you are going to rehash old baggage all the time. It hurts everyone. The past has to be forgiven and letten go of to truley be happy and together again.

I believed in second chances, and forgiveness, thats why I forgave her first affair and cntinued with our marriage. Unfortunately I think I may have forgotten, beause five years later she did it to me again and now Im devestated and soon to be divorced.
NO third chances.

Yes I do believe in second chance for sure/ I guess it depends how remorseful the other person is. If they have really changed on the inside or it is just a front. If they have really changed their values and character. We all have chances to cheat but I guess it is our character that stops us. If you are still worried check out snoopbuddy.com and find a buddy to check things out for you.

I want to believe so badly that he deserves a second chance. He has a lot of proving to do, and maybe one day I will feel better about his love for me. If not, I know I deserve better.

Anyone can be forgiven, even if they dont ask for it or deserve it...trusting them is another story...if they dont realize what they did was wrong, if they are not sorry for it..then nope, I wouldnt trust them ever again.

i don't think you can ever get it back to where it used to be...how could you? they screwed you over once who says they wont do it again... i think there will be forever a lingering doubt in the back of your mind wondering what he/she is up to no matter how much you try to ignore it.
then again I am just speakin on my behalf. see, the guy i fell for was i guess you could say my first 'love', so i didnt hold back because i never feared being hurt. I gave up ALOT for him, i moved to another country where i didnt know anyone other than him, left all my friends and family behind and he just fucked me over royally, though it was partly my fault for being so naive, but im a better and stronger person for it now. i just have some trust issues to deal with.
sorry, went a little off course there didnt i.

I do, if just to not be bitter...I think it takes a long time and a lot of work.

People make mistakes, pure and simple. It's the human condition. I'm not saying that infidelity is excusable; we're all fallible creatures.

Personally, I believe in forgiveness because my husband is trying to forgive me. I believe in second chances because my husband has given me a second chance. We both want the same thing and are working hard to achieve it.

So yes, Nanayaya, I really believe that forgiveness can be had and trust can be restored ... but only if both people want it that way.