If you two are working on the marriage and this is gonna lead to her messing with your H again... Hell no...Its really up to you..I wouldn't be able to do it. Why would she hug and kiss your H anyway? I wouldn't allow that I don't give a damn who it is... his mother can do that... thats not right in my eyes. Don't open the door to that whore coming back into your life. you need to make the decision.... you know her better than I do. I don't trust anybody.

no, she is not allowed back in my life. She and her h are no good!!!!!

My Q is what do you think about the H of the OW. Maybe he is a player and is continuing to play and doesn't give a sh*t. Why would he agree to let us in his home?

Oh!!! well, who knows maybe he was alright with you and knew how his wife is? I don't know everyone is different he might be the same. I don't know them so I wouldn't be able to say..I wouldn't be able to hang out and act like nothing is wrong.

I would imagine that he has his own secrets and that is why he is okay with hers. Clearly, he does not care about her either way. No one who actually loves and cares for someone (especially if they are being faithful) is going to be perfectly fine with her actions. Just my personal opinion, though.

Well, he might not care about his wife, he might be out doing his own thing. He MIGHT be a cuckold, or believe she is a "hotwife". Who knows. For whatever reason, they are both unstable. Don't use brain energy on them, you will end up with less IQ points trying to figure it all out!

hugs to you all. You are right about losing IQ on them. Thanks for keeping me in line.

Why the hell would you even consider going?

we didn't consider going. There was never even a remote thought about it. I just wanted to know what others thought about a H of my H's OW who would agree to let the OM and his wife come to his house.

Since this is so similar to my situation here is how the above took place with us. When we invited the OM and his wife over for drinks with mutual friends, the wife didn't know about the affair. Only my H, the OM and I knew about the affair. And since the OM had not confessed to his wife yet, all three of us had to keep up the facade like nothing happened.....simple as that. We couldn't leave the OM and his wife out of the social gathering without drawing attention. I thought it was very brave of my H to invite the OM and his wife over to the house as it was very uncomfortable for all three of us. But we were all grown-ups and handled the situation well. My H at that time had already forgiven the OM and told me that he would be ok with him coming over. As far as OM and I hugging at the social gathering, yes that took place...I'm a hugger and so is he....OM is also a kisser. He usually kisses ladies on the check when he gives them a hug....I don't see anything wrong with a friendly hug.

Have you ever thought your friends could be wrong with their accusations about the OW? Because anyone who truly knows my H and I will know that even though we've been through hell and back, we are rebuilding a wonderful new marriage together and are very happy with our decision to stay together.

Why would your H even consider going to a social gathering like that at the OW's house? Was it because he couldn't bow out without it being too obvious?

So I think you are blowing the above situation way out of the water.

Since this is so similar to my situation here is how the above took place with us. When we invited the OM and his wife over for drinks with mutual friends, the wife didn't know about the affair. Only my H, the OM and I knew about the affair. And since the OM had not confessed to his wife yet, all three of us had to keep up the facade like nothing happened.....simple as that. We couldn't leave the OM and his wife out of the social gathering without drawing attention. I thought it was very brave of my H to invite the OM and his wife over to the house as it was very uncomfortable for all three of us. But we were all grown-ups and handled the situation well. My H at that time had already forgiven the OM and told me that he would be ok with him coming over. As far as OM and I hugging at the social gathering, yes that took place...I'm a hugger and so is he....OM is also a kisser. He usually kisses ladies on the check when he gives them a hug....I don't see anything wrong with a friendly hug/kiss. Of course today since it's all out in the open, that wouldn't happen.

Have you ever thought your friends could be wrong with their accusations about the OW? Because anyone who truly knows my H and I will know that even though we've been through hell and back, we are rebuilding a wonderful new marriage together and are very happy with our decision to stay together. And my H would never call me a whore....that's sick.

Why would your H even consider going to a social gathering like that at the OW's house? Maybe it was because he couldn't bow out without it being too obvious? He even told me how uncomfortable that was for him and I told him my H was just as uncomfortable and so was I.

WHAT!!? You know the answer to that now don't you. Why would you open the gates to that type of BS again. I wouldn't dare show my face there and I'd bash my husbnad's face in if he even asked if I wanted to go.

There is no way I would be able to go. I would be mad at your husband for accepting the invitation as well. What about no contact is so hard for these people to understand?

okay guys, I think you misunderstood. I was the one that got the invite, not my H. They thought we could leave it in the past. HELL NO!!!!!! My question is and still is. What do you think of the OW's H who would let someone who had sex with their wife into their house? I don't care about who knows, who doesn't. I want to know what you think about a man who would let another man into their house who had sex with their wife. thats it. because, if it were me... I could never let her the ow into my house and be cordial.

Some people do not believe haveing sex outside a marriage is forebidden. Actually statistics indicate that more than half of all married men, and one third of all married women will do it at sometime during the marriage. We must keep in mind that we each can have different outlooks on the activity, depending on how we were taught, generally through actions of our caregivers when we were very young. Any marriage can work as long as both partners agree to the same set of rules. Sciety seems to be modifying those rules all the time. BUT anyone with any ethics, having sex outside the marriage unless their spouse approves of it before hand, is NOT O-K. All people will never agree to my rules for a marriage, and I doubt that I could agree to all the rules which might be set by all others. But, not playing by agreed to rules is not ethical or fair.