She lost a ton of weight, Facebook obsessed, iPhone glued to her hand would never let our daughter see/use it, eventually moved out of bedroom, at the end would leave on Friday and come back Sunday nights usually drunk while I spent the whole weekend with our daughter. (Claimed she was with friends) I was such an idiot. Overall it was for the best she left, we were both miserable. But she still cheated and now her kids have no respect for her and don't want to spend the holidays with her at all. It is what it is.

Pronouns,

stared to never use names for anyone, even our kids, thta way she couldn't call anyone the wrong name and have his evil rotten piece of shit name come out

cheating is a deliberate hateful act, an affair is a deliberate hateful act continued

cheaters are HATEFUL people

The red flag that I never noticed until after I had found out was out there for the world to see...I'm not a facebook fan, but had I logged in and looked at my wife's profile, I could have seen that I had disappeared from her facebook world. Plenty of pictures of the kids, plenty of "selfies", but any evidence of me to include her relationship status were glaringly not there. One that would have been a huge flag (more so than the selfies) was a couple of pictures of her that had me cropped out from the original picture.

I trust my H. I missed all the red flags. He would always keep his phone on him and have a password on it. He even joined a gym. We rarely had sex. We didn't sit on the couch. He was always on his phone. I can't believe I was so blind by what he was doing. At least now I know the signs and from reading everybody else I got even more signs to look out for.

Wow.... Looking back I feel like such a fool ignoring all the flags... And now of course, I'm overly suspicious if his every move.. Lol

Smelled like perfume
Pass code on phone
Phone never left his side and constantly on it
Left the room to talk on the phone
Pay checks didn't match his hours
Many overnight shifts
Stop wanting sex
New positions when we did have sex
Overall lack of interest in me
Took out a lot of cash, yet always used debit with me
Started showering multiple times a day
Drank a lot

She started wearing tighter clothes
Wearing make up and wearing perfume to work (she's a waitress)
Became concerned about her weight
Started grooming herself in areas she never groomed
Stopped cotton wearing panties and started wearing sexier type ones
She always loved to argue, she just stopped, didn't wanna fight
She would call me after midnight when I was on the road.
I found out that she wanted to just remind me that she loved me
after she just finished a phone session with him.
She was on the phone texting a lot more than normal, said she was
playing a new game but play market said it was Ymessenger
She wanted a web cam for the kids
She added Y Messenger to the computer
She had another Email account that didn't have any friends on the list
but OM
She had pics of his minuscule member
said it he sent it to her she didn't ask
Noticed that the phone logs didn't match up
Noticed that the phone bills started disappearing
She wanted to take pics of herself for my bday
She smelled like another mans cologne
Sex was diffrent

Whew! This seems more like a timeline than a list.

Thanks again everyone for the replies.
Boy blind trust sure does get us in trouble. I watch overly close now, I will be a lot more happy when I trust my wife again. At least a lot more than now, even though she gives me no reason not to anymore. I think that I will always be on the look out for Red Flags and if there is ever an inkling of a reason to suspect something I will probably check into it to find out the truth. I really hope that I do not ever have a reason to.
Good luck to everyone hope all is going as good as possible.

The phone hoarding. Treating his phone like his penis - NOONE can touch or look at it! Waking in the morning, going into the bathroom (Phone in hand of course) and standing in front of the closed door checking his phone. Sitting on the chair with legs cropped up and a blanket putting the phone in his lap so he can 'peek' at it when I am not looking. Locking the phone. Hiding his laptop between the wall and cedar chest in bedroom. CONSTANTLY on the internet and deleting his browsing history. Picking stupid fights with me. Accusing ME of cheating. Openly flirting with women at gatherings. Ignoring me at gatherings. Leaving me out of things we used to do together. What a loser.

Just remembered this one.... One night we were talking about retirement and stbx said he would like to move to Flagstaff, AZ. Then he asked me what my plans were....