That is a good possibility and good thought. I come from a home where both parents love each other after 39 years of marriage. My H (WS) his father cheated on his mother multiply times. Now my H never physically cheated that I know of but cheated just the same with porn and phone sex calls. So your theory make be spot on. His parents stayed together (catholic) and the fathers behavior was tolerated.

Both mine and Drew's parents are still married with no history of infidelity on either side. That's not to say that there's not going to be a correlation of parents/kids that end up cheating, but it's not the case for us.

I do believe that it is or can be a learned behavior. Especially when it appears to be acceptable for them as kids which was the case for my H. Lots of cheating in his family and within his culture. I feared him cheating from early on for two reasons. One was his family/cultural history andcthevother is that my ex bf had cheated on me. My guard was up.

I come from a family where there is very little divorce and infidelity. My parents were still together when my mom passed 8 years ago. All 3 of my siblings are still married and faithful. Most of his cousins, siblings, aunts uncles etc... Have cheated and many have oc like my H.

History repeats itself unless we as induvidusls make conscious choices to avoid a negative history.

Society behavior, more loose it is the more liberal it becomes.

My husband cheated and i don't know if my FIL did or not, but I think it is possible. My dad would never have cheated on my mother but I did on my husband. My OM cheated multiple times on his wife and his wife told me his father cheated on his mother.

I'm the BS and my father was the one that cheated and they are now divorced. My cheating H's parents are still married and there was no infidelity.

I'm the BS and my parents are going strong and married for 30 years! My wife's(the cheater) parents have had a dysfunctional relationship, I could see if being something learned. But it's not always the case as others have stated already.

Thanks all for replying
Perhaps its a forumla that varies. But potentially its something like:

Emotional Needs are not get meet + quality time is not getting meet + communication is not working on not working on a level that the CS/WS is satisfied with + brain washing (BS doesnt care anymore/wont effect them) + kids will be ok + not much excitment + AP listens more and seems more interested in me + cultural of orgin + family of orgin issues + low self estem (AP - you are awesome in every way) = crazy town/ FOG

Or perhaps there is no forumla its just nonsenseacle.

I told my WS - "you know there are other people who have low points in their marriages and they focus more on the kids or more on achieving education or more on themselves - but not going over here with an affair" that takes a special crazy mentality when you have kids involved. Single - ok - have fun - still wrong - kids - you have lost your selfish mind.

My mother was a serial cheater and an alcoholic for most of her life.
I started off wrong - had an affair at 18, but in my early 20s got my shit together quickly, dealt with baggage from my mother's shitty parenting and have not cheated on anyone since then.
My exh's parents have been together for almost 60 years. No infidelity that I know of, but he cheated on me.
My current relationship with history of infidelity ( not on my part) - fianc's father serial cheater and a compulsive liar.

Onyx, this is exactly it - kids change everything. My marriage sucked, but I never gave up. I kept trying to get my exh to go to counseling and save our marriage, instead he chose to have multiple disgusting anonymous affairs. It makes me even more upset that while I spent my energy denying myself normal sex life, affection and whatever else comes from the affair I could have had, but chose not to, he got whatever he wanted in secret and I slept in my own bedroom for 7 years still hoping that one day things will change for the better and our family will not fall apart.
I still reflect on the days when I was married. It wasn't good but I had hope. Now I just look into the unknown and take it one day at a time .. With someone else, but it is not the same. The kids are my kids and he is not their dad.

My Mom cheated and married OM, All 3 of my sisters have cheated at least once, my brother cheated and married OW, my other brother has been faithful. My H's Mom also cheated and married OM. Neither one of our Dad's ever cheated.

Yes. I also had a grandmother who cheated.

IDK if it's a learned behavior. Here's my stats:

Me: the xBS: My parents have been married almost 42 years, but together for over 50.

Him: XCS: parents divorced when he was three, his mom then married the man she was sleeping with, who was also her best friend's H at the time. They have been married 25 years. His dad and new wife have been married about 25 years as well, don't know about cheating, because he's an, in general, piece of shit anyway.

Do I think it's learned? I don't know. My son is now currently growing up with divorced parents (him and I) and his dad cheated on me, while I stayed faithful. I hope, if he ever finds out, he doesn't grow up cheating as an excuse because his Dad did because, well, he also has the example of a mother who is faithful, strong, and independent.

I guess I just answered my own question. If it's learned, I think it also falls on how the BS reacts/deals with it.

Yeah. In my case, my mom cheated on my dad, divorced him and married the OM. I was 10 at the time, with three brothers going down to 4 yrs old. Mom came to us one day and said, "Your dad is moving away, and tomorrow you'll get a new dad!" We all went on the back porch and cried. My 4 yr old brother cried too, though he was too young to understand. He just knew we were crying.

I think that whole experience caused me to want to avoid that situation at all costs. I didn't want my kids to go through that. And is one of the main factors that caused me to avoid the idea of cheating on my wife when I had motivation and opportunity.

So yeah, depends on how your parent's cheating affected you, what internal "messages" you got from it.

Same for me as for Pink Pony. My H is from another culture where infidelity was a regular practice for men. It was not considered a big sin the way it is here.
His father had numerous affairs, and H even has a couple of half-brothers. But, unlike Pink Pony, I was not on my guard. After one brief, pre-marital conversation where we agreed that neither of us would cheat, I just put 100 of my trust in him. 20 yrs later I learned that he had had affairs all along. What hurt the most was that he said it was "no big deal." So yes, family of origin is an important factor.