Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
For those who havent heard of my story, here it is in my journal section under "My Story":http://www.dailystrength.org/people/3039556/journal
I wrote this entry in Breakups and Divorce and I am doing it as well here because honestly this feeling of guilt is eating me inside. Somehow, I know that others expressed that what i am feeling is normal, I feel such guilt. I feel that the whole deterioration of my relationship was my fault. Everyone here has been so supportive but please dont be afraid to tell me I am the crazy one or that I am wrong.
I woke up in such a panic today at 4 am, my heart was beating fast and all of the sudden, the tears started to fall. I felt so alone in this apartment where we once lived together.
I woke up in a panic, because I don't know what it is but I still feel it was my entire fault. I should of never put my hands on him or threatened him with a knife, no matter how angry I was at him. When will this get better?
NEVER HAVE I EVER, put my hands on him, but since I am going to counseling, I asked my therapist that how come even though i was never like this, why was I like this now. I explained to her that in the beginning of our relationship, when he would get angry, he would punch walls or slam things on the floor and all i did was cry. Then surely I began to do the same too, it was as a learned behavior, I know I am an adult and that I should take responsibilities for my own actions.
But I am not seeing how as much i wanted to be in a great relationship, it wasnt great either, he would punch walls and scream and i would throw things at him. He swore he would never do it again and so forth.
I guess I am just feeling guilt. He probably left because he found a healthier relationship elsewhere, with someone that he could not yell at or be angry with. It still hurts though.
It's unfair that he was able to leave without dealing with anything, I had to take down all the pictures, delete all the videos, even throw out all the gifts I had given HIM, since he left them there in a garbage bag for me to see. I had to be the one deciding what to do with the wedding album and video.
Despite all of this, It's just so painful to think that he is out there, not caring 1 inch about the 6 years we had. How is it possible for someone just do that?
I wrote this entry in Breakups and Divorce and I am doing it as well here because honestly this feeling of guilt is eating me inside. Somehow, I know that others expressed that what i am feeling is normal, I feel such guilt. I feel that the whole deterioration of my relationship was my fault. Everyone here has been so supportive but please dont be afraid to tell me I am the crazy one or that I am wrong.
I woke up in such a panic today at 4 am, my heart was beating fast and all of the sudden, the tears started to fall. I felt so alone in this apartment where we once lived together.
I woke up in a panic, because I don't know what it is but I still feel it was my entire fault. I should of never put my hands on him or threatened him with a knife, no matter how angry I was at him. When will this get better?
NEVER HAVE I EVER, put my hands on him, but since I am going to counseling, I asked my therapist that how come even though i was never like this, why was I like this now. I explained to her that in the beginning of our relationship, when he would get angry, he would punch walls or slam things on the floor and all i did was cry. Then surely I began to do the same too, it was as a learned behavior, I know I am an adult and that I should take responsibilities for my own actions.
But I am not seeing how as much i wanted to be in a great relationship, it wasnt great either, he would punch walls and scream and i would throw things at him. He swore he would never do it again and so forth.
I guess I am just feeling guilt. He probably left because he found a healthier relationship elsewhere, with someone that he could not yell at or be angry with. It still hurts though.
It's unfair that he was able to leave without dealing with anything, I had to take down all the pictures, delete all the videos, even throw out all the gifts I had given HIM, since he left them there in a garbage bag for me to see. I had to be the one deciding what to do with the wedding album and video.
Despite all of this, It's just so painful to think that he is out there, not caring 1 inch about the 6 years we had. How is it possible for someone just do that?
Your last reply shines! I think you are already getting better. And you have already taken the first step toward forgiving yourself. Don't worry if you have down periods, there are always ups and downs. Hang in there.
Stand tall, d