I think it is important for you first to decide if you think your marriage is worth saving. And how far your willing to go to save it or if you just want to let it go. I know you want all the facts and details but take it from me sometimes what you find is worse then you could have ever imagined and will take you years to forget. I am very compulsive about having to dig for the truth(Not only with cheating husbands but everything!) And I think the truth can be very freeing but sometimes it can be VERY damaging so please be prepared for what you might find. I have caught my husband up in all this online dating crap and it really is a whole other world. 22 years is a long time to be married so I do understand if you are trying to save your marriage, Have you thought about trying the one thing these cheating husbands/wife's seem to lack? Straight forward brutal honesty? Demand the truth. You have no reason to be ashamed YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.

You may have already thought of this but every computer or phone with internet has a browsing history. Unless he deleted it..every page on a website hes viewed is stored there. Even emails and messages online that he deleted. I too have been cheated on in the past and I learned a few tricks. They will always say YOURE PARANOID. or YOURE CRAZY. The correct response should always be I would never do that...or I love you and I would never cheat on you.
My last bit of advice is...when/if you confront him....gather your evidence and use your words carefully. Don't accuse or make assumptions. Just simply ask him to explain. Men tend to respond with defensiveness if asked the wrong question.

Thank you so much for the responses. Yes I have tried checking his browser history thats how I found out about the sites. But he deletes his history now. Im not ready to give up on our marriage yet! We have been together to long. I still love him I know that probably makes me afool but I do. I am just lost as to what I should do once im ready to confrunt him. Im having a real hard time with it all. We have been together since jr high. Hes was my first and only boyfriend.

@millijay apparently you have never been a BS. It isn't that easy, unless you hear the words... I want a divorce. CS's could have asked for one, why haven't they? What is keeping them with their BS? You ask us why we don't just walk away? People make mistakes, sometimes it takes someone to show them they are on the wrong path. I wouldn't give up on someone I love until I am sure it's over. Getting enough information isn't a bad thing, you know how far gone your CS has gone. Then you confront them, then you have to choose to rebuild or walk away. You shouldn't make any decision in life without knowing all the facts. Would you buy a house without knowing what your interest rate is? Of course you wouldn't. Why the hell would you leave your spouse because of one text message from a work colleague? Get the facts and make a decision based on facts.

Welcome to the world of social media cheating games. Been there - done that. Was married 20 years, thought we were happy, then found out about my husband's OTHER phone line and his Yahoo accounts. Yep - ain't technology great? Nobody seems to have morals anymore I have found.
I am divorcing my sick sob - he says he "Never cheated." Ummmm - getting a phone line behind my back and sexting other women is cheating. When my son found his other phone line - stbx did get rid of it, but then started hoarding his phone, putting it on vibrate, locking it, never had it more than 2 inches from his body. It was sickening. And I was told it was none of my business who he was texting. So yep - get rid of the asshole now! Who care WHO he is 'picking up.' The fact is - he stepped out on you and obviously doesn't value your marriage.
I wish you luck and I am sorry for what you are going through.

You are not a fool, being in love and trying to save your marriage does not make you a fool. A fool is a person that act's unwisely someone that tricks or deceives. By definition your HUSBAND is the fool. Technology is a funny thing, he might delete everything and feel he has covered his tracks. But the things someone does on a computer or phone can NEVER be permanently deleted. Its false security to think once its gone its gone for good. ANYTHING he has done on his phone can be brought back. I downloaded a recovery tool to my computer last time I wanted to find all the evidence. It cost me $10 but there was everything from text to emails to dirty pictures. I'm the type that has to dig for the entire truth so I know how you feel about wanting all your facts before you make a decision.

Jade what kind of recovery tool was it?

It depends what type of phone it is. Seriously right now, just type in cell phone text recovery into google. The choice is up to you there are 100's. some you have to pay for but depending on the phone it might be free. IPhone has a way you can do it straight from the phone.

I didn't even know any of this existed until a couple years ago when I took my computers forensic class. Handy stuff to know about. Very dangerous if a criminal or a scorned woman get's ahold of it...In either case there screwed.

Thanks

Is there a spy tool/or another way you can access deleted texts from an Iphone , without access to the actual phone (complete technophobe here!!)

Bobbyjane
I posted this before...
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...

I was surprised what was still on the phone. Text from over a year ago.. I hope this helps.

I already knew what was sent, but I thought I could help someone else. A email is send to their iCloud email... (My H never has check it)

Let me know what you think

Let me start by saying I am sorry you are going through this. I noticed you said he is now deleting the history & that makes me think he might know you know already. Unless you just happened to check on a day he forgot to deleted. I think it would be good to try the things suggested to get information then confront him soon. I think I messed up when I cought my husband doing things online. I did not demand all his passwords. He still holds to he had not cheated at that time but did not physically cheat till later. I asked for his passwords but he did not give them. I wish I had realized then that he was hiding things still maybe he would have not physically cheated. We are working through & he agrees if you confront him get the passwords. I locked every thing away from him so I could sort through what I found.
Explain that not giving them to you is admitting guilt to you. I hope you are okay what ever happens. Good luck.

SallySavard - you have been reported to DS for spamming/trolling.

You are warned

Thank you mary for your response. Some days are better than others. But I still have no definate proof. The signs are all there or maybe im just escalating the situation because of what I know. I definately need
Proof. Its killing me with all the doubt and snooping. Ive been looking at a bunch of different sites as to how to get my proof but none of them can do what I need. I need a keylogger for android phone since I think he Is using his dating sites to chat with the girls. Any suggestions for that?

know any single friends who would be on those sites? Thought about asking them to apocopate him on there? I am single and on a few. Ill help you out if you want.