Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
any of you BS out there ever feel like this...?
somedays i feel ok
somedays i fall back into a pit of despair
somedays i crave comfort and intimacy from my WW
somedays i refuse to yield to those types of feelings because i tell myself "you are just being selfish for wanting that" ..... and I start a cycle of pulling away from my WW.
in MC a few weeks ago, I brought this up and said something like "i am NOT an animal. i am a rational human being. i do not need to do something just because it would make me feel good. doing something just because it makes me feel good is not enough justification"
some days i really convince myself of this
maybe i would like to hold my WW hand, or hug her, or ask her to hold me or be intimate...but then i just stop dead in my tracks and berate myself w thoughts of "that is selfish. she was selfish. i do not ever want to be like her. i will resist these feelings and needs because i am not ruled by lower level primal urges"
anyone ?
somedays i feel ok
somedays i fall back into a pit of despair
somedays i crave comfort and intimacy from my WW
somedays i refuse to yield to those types of feelings because i tell myself "you are just being selfish for wanting that" ..... and I start a cycle of pulling away from my WW.
in MC a few weeks ago, I brought this up and said something like "i am NOT an animal. i am a rational human being. i do not need to do something just because it would make me feel good. doing something just because it makes me feel good is not enough justification"
some days i really convince myself of this
maybe i would like to hold my WW hand, or hug her, or ask her to hold me or be intimate...but then i just stop dead in my tracks and berate myself w thoughts of "that is selfish. she was selfish. i do not ever want to be like her. i will resist these feelings and needs because i am not ruled by lower level primal urges"
anyone ?
My husband cheated on me. We are currently trying to work things out. And yes I do feel like pulling away at times. I feel lost and lonely. And they should know how hurt you are. But it is also good to show what it is your trying to save.
You are allowed to be hurt and yet still want comfort. I still lay on my husband as I cry. Why should I hide it? He did it he should see what consequences came from his actions.
All I'm saying is we are human. It is completely natural for you to seek comfort when you are hurting. Just let her know that's what its about. It's not a sign that you forgive her, Its a sign you are trying.
Unless your wife isn't onboard with rebuilding I don't see a problem
These needs are natural and okay. It would be a problem if you were trying to fulfill these basic human needs like your spouse did--outside of your marital relationship. But, directing these desires toward your spouse is healthy and normal. Hang in there.