It sucks there is no way around it, you have to be strong / stronger now.
You have to know what you can live with.
He needs to tell you everything, so you can heal.
doesn't mean you stay or go, but means you need to heal.
If you truly don't have family or friends close enough, talk to them daily or hourly, where them all out on the phone, you need support.
Write it all down it will help in the long run.
No one can tell you to stay or leave, only you and your inner self worth know what you can handle.
But dont bottle it up.
Read everything on here that you can.
See how others suffered and survived.
This is not easy and there is no quick fix.
He made the bad choice of cheating, that will never be on you.
Stay strong and seek more insight and help.

I am so sorry. I am new on this journey as well and every day hurts but I am told things will get better. Like u, my wife was my Bff and my soul mate and I have no idea how to replace that giant hole

Thank you for taking your time to read my rambling. I can't tell my family. Especially my mom. She thinks the world of him. She is so proud to boast about how happy we are. It would break her heart. I would have to be the one to give her support. I told a friend of mine. But what can she do? Did i feel better? Not really... i feel more comfortable venting here , among strangers. I do wish i could have some time away from him. But as i said, we have a child together. I can't take away his hapiness. I am also afraid that my husband will get used to this life and won't even fight to win me back. I don't want to be strong. I am tired of being strong. Long time ago an older man asked me to marry him. But i said, no, because i don't love you. And he replied, I don't care, my love is enough for both of us, just be with me.
And the person who had your heart in his hands just wipes his dirty boots with it.....

Read the chumplady.com. I think her article today was written just for you!

Don't stay because of your son. It will eat at you every day and your son will feel it. I know, I'm living it now as I have a child as well. Start planning to go and then implement that plan. You have to be strong for your son, if not yourself. As for your Mom, just tell her that it didn't work. She doesn't need to know the details. I'm going to do the same as I care about her family and don't want anything worse to come out of it. I believe in Karma and it will take care of her. By the way, you have friends here that will help you out. You can also call your old friends if they are not nearby. I would also seek therapy if you feel that you need it. It will hurt every day, but hopefully a little less each day.

Thank you all very much for your responses. But i have made the decision that yes, because we have a son, i can't leave. You have to understand, we have always been a happy family. Our child has never seen us argue. Always together, hiking, playing board games, traveling, you name it. My husband is a great Dad. I am willing to sacrifice my happuness as a woman to keep my son's emotional and mental health undisturbed. Again. Thank you for taking your time to read my replies. I hope we all will find the strength we need.

Paloma, I made the same choice as you for the same reason, and two years later, it’s still eating at me. I’m not saying to leave your husband; I’m just saying that it doesn’t necessarily get easier. In exchange for my staying and keeping the family together, I have compromised my happiness, self respect and marriage ideals. I still resent my husband and react strongly to him anytime I feel devalued. Sadly, my kids see this too and worry about me at times. It’s a really shitty situation my husband has put me in.

Katg93, I am sorry you have to go through this. I don't know how people can put those they love through hell, crush their lives, and live as if everything is ok. Another problem of mine is that I don't my family here, they are too far away, moving back would mean my son wouldn't be avle to see his Dad. I have few friends.. The company of my husband has always been enough. And i am an introvert. I think if i had enough money, I would have a different decision....

You always have a choice to go out and make friends. I am an introvert, too, but I have a lot of friends...many of them introverts! Your husband can still be a great dad even if you are divorced. Your son will sense you are unhappy, and you are are role model for him. Many, many women with children divorce, and end up quite happy, remarried or not. Having "enough money" will not make your situation any easier in most regards. I don't know the details of your situation, but having a spouse who is your only friend puts a huge burden on a spouse. Best wishes! I know it's not easy. I raised three children by myself.

Sounds all too familiar. I have told a few friends, but not family. Both his family and mine think he’s the perfect guy, and I can understand why- I used to think the same. I initially stayed because I love him. For some odd reason, I still do. Here I am 19 months out from DDay, and I don’t know why I’m still here. This is the first I’ve ever admitted this to anybody, but I believe a big part of why I stayed is obviously the kids, and because I don’t want to be seen as a failure. I know this is no fault of my own, but I just can’t imagine being divorced. I also can’t imagine being with anybody else. I have been through some heavy things in my life, but this is by far the one thing I have not been able to shake, and I’m more confused with each passing day. Good luck to you. You’ve only just begun a long journey, and I hope yours is easier than mine has been!

I will tell you a secret... keeping your husbands secret will only allow him to do it again! May not today.. or tomorrow... but it will be easier to hide.

There are so many people .. some may have even commented on your post, that this exact thing has happened to them.
I know people finding out will be embarrassing. How could you have let this happen? How did you not know? Oh look at Jane, here good for nothing husband cheated on her..
I know why you are afraid.. I was too. But I did it.. we are still together 5 years later.

Read this article that convinced me.. best advice I ever got..

Why Exposure

The issue of exposure of an affair comes up when a betrayed spouse has first learned about the affair. Should it be exposed to others, or kept secret? I almost always recommend exposure. When should it be exposed? I almost always recommend that it be exposed immediately. To whom should it be exposed? I recommend that family, friends, children, clergy, and especially, the lover's spouse be informed. If the affair is at the workplace each person's supervisor and/or the personnel department should be told.
These are very difficult recommendation to follow, and they are very controversial. But I've come to these conclusions after carefully considering the results of exposing an affair as opposed to not exposing it. My direct experience with tens of thousands of couples who have done one or the other had led to recommend exposure decisively. Without a doubt, it's an essential part of a plan that's been shown to be the most likely way to end an affair and to save a marriage.


https://www.marriagebuilders.com/when-should-an-affair-be-exposed.htm