No, I don't think all cheaters are narcissistic. They are ALL, however, certainly selfish.

As I've said before, it doesn't really matter whether your H is or isn't. His actions speak for themselves and the sooner you are truly free of him, the better. I say quit driving yourself nuts trying to figure him out. It defies understanding anyway.

Having had 2 of 3 h's cheat I can tell you that no..they are not all narcs..my ex was and it wasnt just the cheating that made me see that, I actually knew it before he cheated. He had no regard at all for anyone elses feeling. He had this sense of entitlement that was just unheard of and child like. He hid it all very well for many years but after about 3 years, I did start to see things that made me go Hmmm?

Selfish however, I have to say that cheating on your spouse is one of the most selfish things a person can do. Whether that makes them forever a "selfish person" I cant say that since one act does not in my opinion make a person either a "selfish person" or a "cheater".

people can display characteristics of NPD and not be a full on Narcissist. And if you've lived with a narcissist, you can pick up some of their traits, especially if you are trying to work out a relationship with a narcissist.

a true narcissist has no empathy and leaves a path of destruction behind him/her.

I have to agree with natty.... whether there is a diagnosis, or certainty of his NPD or not.... if his actions are those of someone who will continue to hurt you in the future... then you need to accept that is how he will be, and move on. There is a link in the narcissist victims group about the predictability of pathology that was really helpful and another confirmation for me that I did the right thing by divorcing my ex.

I dont think they all are, but I know my STBX was and is, the lack of empathy, the grandiosness of trying to make himself look more than who he is, the serial infiddelity. Im done, I filed on 11/2008 and will be final 08/2010, I can now see, and it took two years with a really good therepist to see who he truly is, to really learn who Im after being so imesshed in being his wife and not Teresa. I hope for anyone that has felt the pain of deciet and lies, blindsided by them, since these people have the unique ability to live double and even triple lives. God has been my rock, and friends that are real friends, lost some thru the divorce. but thats ok.

I pointed out to my H for years I felt he was selfish on many issues. He is a generally good hearted man and generous helping someone other than his wife or kids. I have come to realize through research and listening to other people he is more Self Centered and definately a Narc. I didn't even know what Narc meant until the A and someone gave me the definition and pointed out his character to me. I don't think all cheaters are this way but most definatley they are looking out for #1

From my research, 'true' narcissists who meet the criterion for diagnosis fall into a very small percentage of the population. Some people have narcissistic tendencies; however, they are not clinically a narcissist.

Many times the cheater is selfish--trying to fill a need within 'themselves' for whatever reason-placing their needs above all others.....

Bottom line: Narcissistic behavior IS Selfish behavior...but all Selfish behavior is not Narcissistic.

My husband has been diagnosed as a Narcissist... :(

I just wanted to say that although we may seem selfish, narcissistic, the reason why a cheater may seem like we have no empathy is because:

WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE CHEATED ON!

Ignorance. My boyfriend says I am selfish for what I did, and I will admit it was a selfish decision. Do I understand where he is coming from? not all of the time. I do not know how it feels to be in his shoes.

I do not try to be insensitive when we do fight, but it is my natural instinct to try and defend myself and fight back. I really wish we could communicate more instead of fighting. It is everyones instinct to defend themselves and fight back when in an arguement, instead of calling all cheaters selfish and narcissistic, one must realise this....we are all human and we will defend ourselves when we feel threatened.

I am very empathetic and I really do try to communicate with the bf but it always ends up in the same vicious cycle, I am the liar, the cheater, the wrong one and I always will be, to this I only try to defend myself.

And some peopel really do have no remorse/empathy/or guilt. I am not one of those people, I feel what I did was wrong and I am taking responsibility for it.