Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
My husband and met in the militry back in 2000.. since then weve been together through 2 deployments, gotten married, had a child, bought our dream home.. its been a blissful 16 years. He recently got deployed..May of 2016..and ive been the doting, supportive wife and found out i was pregnant the week before he left. It was the greatest news.. we had been trying for almost 8 years for our second child. Heres where it gets horrific... yesterday he got a lettr from the dept of revenue .. child support and paternity test demand for a child i knew nothing about. Being that hes overseas it took me forever to get a hold of him.. he admitted to cheating, swears he knows nothing of this toddler. I dont know what to do or where to turn... im just about 5 months pregnant..hes not due home until july 2017... i cant sleep..i cant eat...im sick to my stomach...i feel like im going to loose this baby..and im not sure if that even upsets me. Im scared for my 9 yr old daughter..im scared for the future...im just scared... any advice, anyone that can relate... just anything....
Second, get yourself to a therapist. A neutral party to talk thru your emotions , and boy will you have a lot of those: sadness anger fury depression hopelessness. And they will come and go randomly. Feel what you need to feel. You are vulnerable right now, you need support.
Whatever you think you know about your husbands infidelity I promise you there is so much more to it than you know right now. As the truth trickles out you will be devastated all over again. This all sucks and we all know what you're going thru. This is the hardest most soul crushing thing anyone can go thru. To think the person we love most and trust most has actively set out to deceive and manipulate us for their own selfish purposes is traumatizing.
Hang in there, take it one day at a time. I'm so sorry you are going thru this. Hugs to you, be strong, regardless of what happens you will get thru this.
Needstrength, I am sorry to hear of your situation. Know that you are not alone. There is a community of caring individuals here that have experienced what you are going through.
You're in emotional ICU right now, and you need to focus on what you can do. It must be extremely difficult with him being overseas and not being able to speak with him freely.
What you know, is that's he cheated and may have produced a child during his affair. This is difficult to comprehend. To try to figure out the why's at this time won't help you, that will come out later. Know that none of it is your fault, not a morsel of it.
You are pregnant, and you, your unborn child, and your daughter are the most important things to preserve right now. Most cheating spouses do not leave their family for the affair partner, even when there's a child involved. You are safe in your home. Try to stay focused on the present. It's very important to eat, drink water, and get good sleep during this time, as it will give you a clear mind and strengthen your weakened body, after such an assault.
Most betrayed spouses lose 15-25 pounds within the first two weeks of discovery day. I would make an appointment to speak to your doctor about this, to see what you can do to keep eating so you don't lose weight during this very important time.
You will come out of this okay, it will not destroy you. Your daughter and unborn child will be fine, as long as their mommy is.
How did you learn about the letter from the dept. of revenue; did it come to your home? That must have been an awful experience. Did he know about this letter prior to you getting a hold of him overseas?
Wishing you well.
You must breathe first. Take 5 long deep breaths. The number one priority is that baby. And you.
You will survive this and be ok. You are now In shock. If you have not already done so you need to call your doctor. Get some help with nutrition. Call in your best girl friend your sisters or friends. Call in the troops. Whoever you can to support you.
Come to this forum as often and as much as you like. We are here for you. You are not alone. Infidelity is a form of abuse. You have been abused and you must now find your way. I know because I have been through it. It has been 7 months since I found out my husband if 33 years had been unfaithful. We had everything.
Message me if you would like to talk.
Big hug.
Breathe, eat, visit a doctor, visit a therapist, start keeping a journal, and pray if you are spiritual. Just know that all lives are messy and all marriages have their demons, you just got one of the nastiest.
Hugs, come find us.
I hope you had a better day.
My advice to you as you start connecting with others and reading these posts is to not compare yourself and marriage to anyone. Some of the stories can be so hurtful and scary that you want to run far, far away from dealing with it. I want you to know that there is a way to be happy again, if you want it, don't give up.
As I mentioned before, journaling will help you more than you think. You need a consistent way to express your thoughts and emotions.