Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Will123 04/12/2017

This past mont my wife and I arealways having an aguement about all her late night parties and hangouts. So I told her I want a divorce as a scare tactic and she agreed right away. Ever since then we were distant to each other but I realized that I want to fix this and I want my family back. I came home one night and I heard my wife on the phone with another man on speaker. Then I started eve's dropping and my worl suddenly crashed. At one point I don't want to believe everything conversation that they are having on the phone but the content was unbearable. I confronted her and forgave her. We are now on counseling but she is still talking to that guy. What should I do? Do I just say I'm done or continue to fix our relationship?

pfrey71 04/12/2017

If she said "ok" I think she already gave you her answer. You can't fix what she doesn't want to fix.

imrj 04/13/2017

you dont do counseling together until she completely stops any and all communication with the affair partner FOREVER.....she has a lot to prove and is all your decision, not hers. Be strong, dont commit to reconcile so quickly.....you dont have to decide anything right now, she is the one that has to go to counseling for why she cheated

sh39 04/13/2017

I'd have to agree with pfrey71. No matter how much you want to fix a relationship, both people have to be committed to it. She clearly has said she is not when she said "ok" to a divorce, and she is doubling down on that answer by continuing to talk to the other guy.

Before you invest any more time in this, I would straight up ask her: "Do you want to stay together as a couple or do you want to divorce" Make it clear that staying in the marriage means she has to go no-contact with the other guy, immediately, and that this is non-negotiable. Don't bring this up in a yelling match or a fight. Discuss it calmly, maybe even at counseling. Don't back down on this. There are no concessions on this answer. Don't settle for some wishy washy answer "maybe" or "I don't know right now". Anything less than a clear definitive answer to this question means she isn't interested in staying together.

Basically, you need to know if she's even interested in trying. Understand that if she isn't on board with that, nothing you can do to "work on the relationship" is going to matter.

Will123 04/14/2017

Thank you for all of your respone. From the bottom of my heart I thank you. It is clear that my relationship is not going to be fix with her all the words of wisdom that ya'll share was on point. All I need to do now is move on with my life because at the end of the day the bet is on me. Thank ya'll!

betrayedtodeath 04/14/2017

I'm sorry you're going through this! But she gave you her answer to what she thinks of you when she promised to cut off contact with the AP and then did not. Time to put yourself first.

Lenoire 07/12/2017

I'm sorry you have found yourself in this situation. The first mistake you made was to forgive her without finding out what exactly it is you were forgiving her for. Otherwise, it's fear, not forgiveness.

I would spend time finding out just exactly what she's been up to before you make any further decisions.

Wishing you well.

StormPetrel 07/12/2017

Sounds like you already have your answer.

She wants a divorce.

You cannot save your marriage yourself.

Sorry.

refurb 07/13/2017

she's been cheating on you for a long time
she'll play you now

leave her

I_want_to_heal 07/15/2017

This one is a tough road to walk. After 22 years of marriage with my wife, she cheated on me. I asked her to leave and she did. There are moments every week that I wish I hadn't. I keep getting thoughts like, "if she had stayed, could we have worked things out?" But the reality is, once she cheated, she altered the course of our marriage and our family life. She damaged my children in the process. Nothing is the same. Even if we got back together, I would be living with distrust for the remainder of my life. I can't live like that. The deep emotional connection and love I had for her is broken and there is nothing that can repair that, nor can it repair my mind and heart. It's time to admit that it's over and prepare my heart to be loved by someone who actually cares for me. This is how I feel. Maybe you can relate, maybe you have more hope in restoration than I do.

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