Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
We have been working at things, he clams to be being honest now and really want to work at it. I have been seeing some effort, but a lot of questionable things too.
I have had the internet stick for some time (so he will not go online while I am not there and do naughties) Thursday night after going online together he took the stick, so when he wasn't looking I hid the laptop charging cord. Sat morn I wake up to find the smokes moved from the bed to the couch, he is sleeping, I look and see things were moved around (looking for cord in cupboards) Okay, don't say nothing...he stays in bed for another 2 hours, I set VR by couch and go outside...as soon as I go outside he gets up.
So he says he has to go to town to drop a couple things off at friends houses. Am I staying or coming with. Two stops, now with drive time and visiting maybe 3 hours. I had a headache and was nauseous, didn't want to go (I am scared to let him go alone because of past experiences, I expressed this, he got mad) I inside figure if I let him go alone he will be up to no good, but crap I can't cage him and watch him all the time, have to give trust a go...But it ends up a big fight and he storms out.
8:10 pm I text "where abouts are you babe?"
8:12pm his buddie texts me "he's with me honest!"
(But Evan doesn't text me just his buddie Les)
Not til after 9 does he text saying he is with les waiting for a buddie, 2 texts then he stops...
I let them both know I think things are fishy and I am being told Lies, (guess what?! news flash! I imagine things and have probs!-Whoda thunk!?)
Anyways, 11pm, its like "WTF? Are you even coming home?"
Les responds "he just left"
2:30, he is still not home, I SNAP. He gets home I snap- he got a few choice names + some...He stays at the house me at the motorhome.
Sunday at lunch he gets some shit from the motorhome and takes off to the city again, still angry, midnight he still wasn't home.
Monday morn (he is supposed to be at work for 8am, cars at house when I wake up) shows up at the motorhome about 10 am, wants to talk and have a coffee. He is innocent, is tired of me not trusting him, past is past, we need to get past this...
I was already considering it over, was planning on leaving...
started to think I was over reacting, I KNOW i have issues...
Well this morning I agree I will not drink and I will seek counseling...We even discussed maybe my aneurysm is affecting my emotions (WTF_over?)
He leaves for work...Me and my trust issues head to the online phone bill...
8:10pm text received
8:11pm outgoing call ( to Lesters phone)
then Les texts me to tell me they are together
He called Les numerous times that night.
Now am I wrong to assume that they were not together?
Les and I were friends and he got mad at me for not believing him, I want to tell him he is an ass!! (should I?)
What am I to do now?
He will be home at 5:30pm and wants to go to town to shop for a truck. I want to tell him to just go...I want to confront him...I want to text Lester...I want to sit on the porch with a loaded gun, wait for him and push his lying face into that phone bill, and blow off a toe for every lie I get, when the toes are gone, he obviously has some huge balls...
Like what kind of explanation will I get for this?
WHY?
Why cant people just be honest?
I am at a loss, I literally have no one else in my life, no family no nothing...
Sunday I had written a note and was ready to hang myself...
Today looks like a good day...
I have had the internet stick for some time (so he will not go online while I am not there and do naughties) Thursday night after going online together he took the stick, so when he wasn't looking I hid the laptop charging cord. Sat morn I wake up to find the smokes moved from the bed to the couch, he is sleeping, I look and see things were moved around (looking for cord in cupboards) Okay, don't say nothing...he stays in bed for another 2 hours, I set VR by couch and go outside...as soon as I go outside he gets up.
So he says he has to go to town to drop a couple things off at friends houses. Am I staying or coming with. Two stops, now with drive time and visiting maybe 3 hours. I had a headache and was nauseous, didn't want to go (I am scared to let him go alone because of past experiences, I expressed this, he got mad) I inside figure if I let him go alone he will be up to no good, but crap I can't cage him and watch him all the time, have to give trust a go...But it ends up a big fight and he storms out.
8:10 pm I text "where abouts are you babe?"
8:12pm his buddie texts me "he's with me honest!"
(But Evan doesn't text me just his buddie Les)
Not til after 9 does he text saying he is with les waiting for a buddie, 2 texts then he stops...
I let them both know I think things are fishy and I am being told Lies, (guess what?! news flash! I imagine things and have probs!-Whoda thunk!?)
Anyways, 11pm, its like "WTF? Are you even coming home?"
Les responds "he just left"
2:30, he is still not home, I SNAP. He gets home I snap- he got a few choice names + some...He stays at the house me at the motorhome.
Sunday at lunch he gets some shit from the motorhome and takes off to the city again, still angry, midnight he still wasn't home.
Monday morn (he is supposed to be at work for 8am, cars at house when I wake up) shows up at the motorhome about 10 am, wants to talk and have a coffee. He is innocent, is tired of me not trusting him, past is past, we need to get past this...
I was already considering it over, was planning on leaving...
started to think I was over reacting, I KNOW i have issues...
Well this morning I agree I will not drink and I will seek counseling...We even discussed maybe my aneurysm is affecting my emotions (WTF_over?)
He leaves for work...Me and my trust issues head to the online phone bill...
8:10pm text received
8:11pm outgoing call ( to Lesters phone)
then Les texts me to tell me they are together
He called Les numerous times that night.
Now am I wrong to assume that they were not together?
Les and I were friends and he got mad at me for not believing him, I want to tell him he is an ass!! (should I?)
What am I to do now?
He will be home at 5:30pm and wants to go to town to shop for a truck. I want to tell him to just go...I want to confront him...I want to text Lester...I want to sit on the porch with a loaded gun, wait for him and push his lying face into that phone bill, and blow off a toe for every lie I get, when the toes are gone, he obviously has some huge balls...
Like what kind of explanation will I get for this?
WHY?
Why cant people just be honest?
I am at a loss, I literally have no one else in my life, no family no nothing...
Sunday I had written a note and was ready to hang myself...
Today looks like a good day...
Listen to what L said.
Take care of yourself. No one else will....
I hope your surgeries go well, I'll keep you in my prayers.
Karen
You can't honestly tell me you believe these lies. The friend texting you that he and your H are together. Really, I pulled that on my parents when I was like 15. I would say I was at a friends' house, when I was really with a boy. If my mother called the friend, my friend would call me and I would in turn, call home and say I was in the bathroom (or something equally stupid). Are people still doing that (adults...)?
Being alone is far better than letting someone make a fool out of you.
Take care. Don't let anyone exasperate your health problems. That is too important. You can't honestly think this is a happy or even healthy, marriage.
Good Luck to you!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vgQalXaIxs
I know in the beginning of discovering my husband's betrayal...I was consumed with it...checking computer (having to learn how to check computer when you're not computer literate takes hours)....and replaying every conversation in my mind after we talked....wondering, wondering...does he mean this?...that?...is that true?...a lie...etc., etc., etc.
One morning I woke up and wondered...."What happened to that sunshine soul of mine that woke up with a smile in her heart....joy in meeting the day....and endless energy?
I'd given it all to him.........became PI, babysitter, jealous.........all the things in life I never would have dreamed of. Know what....it sucked and I didn't even like myself at that time.
No one should have that power over you........I understand your pain...my heart and soul and beliefs were shattered........but I loved me enough to bring me back! It's a journey.........but I feel there is a very lovely woman inside you just waiting to come back out.....
Take care of yourself....remember, this has nothing to do about you.....as others posted, it has to be his choice to stop the lying and be the husband you want. In the meantime...you can be the woman you want to be.....let your heart sing again!
Hugs and strength
ANITA
I can remember being there. I would drive myself crazy trying to figure out what your spouse is up to. I'd look around and half the time I would find nothing and be ashamed that I looked. The other half the time I would find something substantial. When I did, I would be conflicted about whether to confront my wife (expecting that she would lie) or if I was seeing things that weren't really there. I would spend hours thinking of excuses of why I didn't really see the OM car in her apartment parking lot. My wife would also complain that I was spying on her, or stalking her. I would say that it was me trying to find out what the truth was. My wife wasn't making any effort to ease my fears.
I finally realized that if nothing changed, I would spend the rest of my life trying to decide when she was lying and playing the detective. She clearly did not respect me. I would never be a priority to her, and I would always be taking a back seat to what she wanted. I realized that I can't make her tell the truth. I can't make her end the affair. I can't make her love me. I can only ask these things, and hope they are given freely. If they aren't given, I can choose to live with it, or I can leave. I knew I didn't want to live like that, but it took me months to decide that this was how it was, and that my only other choice was to divorce.
So I decided I couldn't take the lies anymore, and more importantly, I decided that this was not how I wanted to be treated in a marriage. So I decided to divorce.
I feel like I really tried. Unfortunately, it didn't work out. But because of how my wife acted, I do not regret my decision. Perhaps it is too early to tell. We are not divorced yet. But so far, I do not miss the craziness of having to be the detective.
SH
Speaking as a guy i hate to tell you this but this man is cheating on you. I hate to have you deal with this in this manner but i told you that i will be the most honest friend that you will have and i am not going to pull any punches when it comes to honesty and seeing ppl get hurt, I am not into that. It is time for you to move on and let this guy go he is doing nothing but playing you and you are better then that. Go out and find someone that will appreciate you and respect you and that will be faithful to you. You Deserve It