Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
My H (CS) cheated on me when we were long distance because of his work. Yesterday he left again to travel for a week because of work. He is going back to the same place. He had signed up on hookup sites, and met women there. After discovery, he was staying with me. Now he has to travel again. Now I donno if he will cheat on me again.
I am a mixed bag now, and so confused.
I feel happy that i don't need to see his face for a week and I can be calm and free at home (i've been having anxiety attacks often when he was at home). Now that I don't have to see his face, I feel calmer.
I feel that he will cheat on me again, now that he is alone again.
I feel that he will not cheat on me, and be loyal.
I feel he will now destroy all other evidence at the other apt of his affairs so I wont get to know anything else.
I don't feel anything at all. I don't even care when he call or texts. He sends me pic messages of showing where he is, but i don't even care, cos he found a way to cheat before, i can do it again, and he will be more careful now.
He has been listening to me since the discovery (about 3 months now) but that could all be a game and to avoid separation. I donno what to do. Should i trust him or not? I'm so confused.
I am a mixed bag now, and so confused.
I feel happy that i don't need to see his face for a week and I can be calm and free at home (i've been having anxiety attacks often when he was at home). Now that I don't have to see his face, I feel calmer.
I feel that he will cheat on me again, now that he is alone again.
I feel that he will not cheat on me, and be loyal.
I feel he will now destroy all other evidence at the other apt of his affairs so I wont get to know anything else.
I don't feel anything at all. I don't even care when he call or texts. He sends me pic messages of showing where he is, but i don't even care, cos he found a way to cheat before, i can do it again, and he will be more careful now.
He has been listening to me since the discovery (about 3 months now) but that could all be a game and to avoid separation. I donno what to do. Should i trust him or not? I'm so confused.
to be honest it is part of the healing process to see if you can trust him again.
Hopefully this time he will prove that he is worthy of you.
What do you do? well its a hard one to say - you have options and they are this (plus many more):
Move out and move on - at least in appearance cause its hard as heck to do in reality - but don't let him know that - and the point to all of that is... - to see if he shows true remorse - the point to all of this is also.... - you don't want history repeating itself do you - him saying ok - I have her back - Plan A is right there - so let me go over here again and play around a bit....
He should be in the "dog house" what ever definition that is for you - meaning - he sleeps down stairs or you move out - or you seperate for a certain amount of time - again the point is...... so this crap doesnt happen again cause you are no ones Plan B. You are someone lucky Plan A.
Another option - go to counseling and work it out via communication - efforts - he could see that as a "nag" and just get annoyed - knowing you really care - which you do - but to him it could mean - she cares I have Plan B caring - awesome - stupid - yes... - depends on how much crazy town walking he has already done.
A 3rd is - Cut him off "completely" - give him a taste of what its like to have a "hall pass" - you are now free to walking about the cabin - I mean you are now free to do whatever you wish - and btw I am also now free to do that as well - and I (you) may find someone new as well - once you open the cage - like in the movie hall pass - these dudes find out that what they think is all that - really stinks and has crazy habits and is broke and has daddy issues and doesnt know how to cook and depends on him for god knows what and is igonring and we have nothing in common etc.
Another thing to note - people get hooked on may things - drugs - distructive things - why? they are bored with life - with marriage - they feel the might have missed out - they are getting older - whatever it is in their brain and oppurtinity came knocking and they said - ok - lets take a walk on the dark side - the dark side has things that will distroy them as well - this is serious breach of everything a marriage is about - and for some reason - the WS goes for it - loves the drama - the pain it causes you.
You must show these folks you are strong even when you are weak. You have options - you could even do the samething - but your cut from a different fabric so - try and pick an option and stick with it.
Those are some options and whatever you do - we will be here to help you through it.