Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
So a couple months ago I found out my husband was having an affair with a woman he works with. I tried to move past it. And the actual cheating I can, its that he works with her everyday that I could not move past. I left about a month after I found out. I thought if I showed him that I would leave if he didn't start respecting me and my feelings that he would realize how much he loves me and didn't want to loose me. Well I was wrong! He does not want me back. Says we have to many issues for so long that he is done trying. I am utterly crushed. I love him with all my heart and soul and don't want to live without him. Our 17 year old daughter wants nothing to do with me because I left. Our 14 year old son says that none of them like me anymore and he would rather be with his dad. Our 12 year old is the only one who wants to be with me. Our 21 and 20 year old boys both just want us to get back together. Then today my husband called me to tell me that him and the boys went to the woman's house to hang out. I think that hurt worse than the cheating. He says they are just friends but she wants more. He doesn't understand why I am so upset about it. I feel like she already stole my husband and now she is trying to steal my kids to. How do I tell the kids I am not comfortable with them being around her? My husband says that he left the decision up to them as to weather they wanted to hang out with her and they said yes. He doesn't understand why it bothers me so bad. Now he says they all might go camping the next weekend he has the kids. I am definitely not ok with that. How do I get him to respect how I feel? I can not fight to get my family back when she can give them all things I can't. I can't aford to take them to do things or buy them things, but she can. How do I compete? I just want my entire family back.
Be their mother, live and model a principled life
That is all you can do
That is the best anyone can do
I have two children and my daughter took a stand against the other woman. My son told me that I am to share in the blame for his father and I breaking up. BS!!! Am I to share in the blame for us not having a perfect marriage? YES! But we broke up because he cheated, and that is all on him. A person does not commit an act because of another person's actions. They must own that choice.
Other people and especially our children do not know how their words and actions hurt us. They are clueless because they are not the ones going through it and often their young age just hasn't given them the experiences of this type of situation first hand yet. Just like other types of suffering in the world, if you're not the one experiencing that tragedy, you can image their pain, but you really don't know the level of that pain until you're the one who is experiencing it.
I remember when I was about 20 years old, I saw a movie where the woman's husband left her for another woman. She was very depressed and so was her daughter. The movie was called Four Seasons with Alan Alda and Carol Burnett. It had 4 couples that took a vacation every season. The first and maybe the second season all of the couples went on their planned trips. And then I think the 3rd and 4th season was with the guy's new girlfriend and his wife was left out. So there these couples had a tradition of taking these trips and one of the women was left out. Very sad and hurtful for her. I hate to admit that while I felt bad for the wife that was left out, I didn't feel the level of compassion for her that I should have. I didn't have experience with that kind of pain at my young age at the time. I think that is how your family is reacting. They have no idea of how awful your husband is right now and how much pain you're feeling. They see that he is acting happy and that is fun for them. It's not that they don't love you, it's that it's normal for kids to want to be around someone acting happy. And your husband is feeling powerful at the moment and it's causing him to act happy. That happiness will end when reality sets in. But right now he is getting attention from a a source other than his wife. He's a jerk.
Your children love you, they truly do not know how much you're hurting. And with what you're going through, you may be having a difficult time getting out of bed, and are most likely not capable of putting a smile on your face. I remember taking to bed. I remember sitting in the shower crying for extended periods of time. I could not fake happiness around ANYONE.
You are a good person and the choice you made when you moved out was made in hopes of saving your marriage. If you're wishing you hadn't left because you think it may have yielded a different result, don't beat yourself up. Your action did change the end result. Either you will get back together, or you won't, but whatever happens is the inevitable. The end result was always going to be the end result. And if you end up without him, you will be okay and you will be better off. You will eventually be happier than you were with a cheating, uncaring spouse. He will get what he deserves...misery. But it may take some time before you get to see that. Karma is a bitch.
Hang in there and we're here for you.
Start by outing this affair and to what extent it was. His family, mom, dad ect.. friends & neighbors too!
Then her family.. kids, hubby, mom & dad and neighbors .. I actually had a friend send a letter to every one of the OW's neighbors to tell them to keep an eye on their husbands around her.
That would kill me to think my kids would be okay with their dad prancing his sex partner around them! I am pissed for you!!!!!
Hugs! Lots of positive vibes your way!!!!
Personally I just got caught cheating on my wife is not something that I did recently however because of my unhappiness in my marriage I cheated on my wife in the past
The truth is I was actually going to leave my wife but decided to stay however the girl contacted my wife on Facebook so I was caught red-handed from the mistakes that I made in the past
I do not want to divorce my wife however I'm so ashamed of myself I feel like the lowest person on earth
But this is not about me it's about you people are not perfect so if you decide to stay with your husband please understand that he probably knows he made a mistake he decides to continue to be that person and you have to decide if you're willing to do with that
Good luck