Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Ok, so with only being 7 weeks out from dday, I am still finding out what my triggers may be.
Today I was folding laundry, do do to do, la di da, no big deal and BAM!
I'm folding a pair of h's underwear and it hit me like a ton of bricks, " I wonder which underwear he was wearing on Aug. 21 when he met with tow and they had sex?" I had couple thoughts simultaniously: first thought, was I wonder if they were newer ones, or some of the older rattier ones( I have to sneak the older ones out gradually replacing, I swear he never wants to throw them away) and ok crazy like stepford wife thought was like " omg how embarrassing for me if he had on ratty old underwear" lmao ok ridiculous I know, second thought was somewhere between anger and disgust, immediately followed by omg tomorrow when he goes back to work after the break I have to throw every pair away and go buy all new.
And thennnn I was pissed cuz not only do I feel compelled to buy him all new underwear, but also pissed off that I felt like a bad wife for him having a couple pair of old shorts still hanging around.
GRRRRR...
Today I was folding laundry, do do to do, la di da, no big deal and BAM!
I'm folding a pair of h's underwear and it hit me like a ton of bricks, " I wonder which underwear he was wearing on Aug. 21 when he met with tow and they had sex?" I had couple thoughts simultaniously: first thought, was I wonder if they were newer ones, or some of the older rattier ones( I have to sneak the older ones out gradually replacing, I swear he never wants to throw them away) and ok crazy like stepford wife thought was like " omg how embarrassing for me if he had on ratty old underwear" lmao ok ridiculous I know, second thought was somewhere between anger and disgust, immediately followed by omg tomorrow when he goes back to work after the break I have to throw every pair away and go buy all new.
And thennnn I was pissed cuz not only do I feel compelled to buy him all new underwear, but also pissed off that I felt like a bad wife for him having a couple pair of old shorts still hanging around.
GRRRRR...
Lisset, Ty for the encouragement. This is one of those triggers or situations that I struggle with. My H seems extra "into" getting rooms cleared out and set up. I I will let him know where my mind is at. He needs to understand how the weirdest things can cause negative thoughts. He says everything leads back tot the a and I tell him that yes it does. That the A is such a huge part of our history and is significant to so much of what we do.
I've gotten to know th oc over the past year but on a neutral turf. We have a second house my h was living in until September. We didn't rent it after h moved back in so that he could continue to have his visits with oc and our kids. Now we r renting it and kid is coming here for visits.
I am anxious. I treat oc like a play date that kid has had over for the first time. My h is careful as to being neutral with him too shows no affection ianfront of me. Oc is same age a gender as mt youngest. They r close. It is just me now that needs to adapt.
I guess the insecure part wants her to hear that I am great and he loves coming here. Just want her to know she made us stronger than ever.
Hahaha, this made me giggle. Only a VERY good wife would ever think, "OmG, how embarrassing that my husband's whore saw him in ratty old underwear!" LMBO!
There are little triggers everywhere. They are brought on by the most random things, and honestly, I felt crazy most of the time I got triggered.
Better than throwing all the undies out? Sew his flys shut! Maybe it can be a constant reminder to keep his snake inside. Hahaha
In all seriousness, it happens a lot in the beginning, then the triggers become fewer and father between. Hang in there, and communicate with your husband about how you're feeling.
Don't ever feel silly for your feelings. No matter how irrational they may be.
On a side note when I found out that he brought the OW to our home and had sex with her in our living room, one of my first thoughts was how the house hadn't been dusted so she probably thinks I am a terrible housekeeper?!?! How crazy is that?!?!?