I am so sorry you are going trough this. I cant imagine how you feel.
My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Blanca, YOU didn't waste your time. This was an honest effort on your part. HE wasted your time, but lying about this all and playing some huge game with YOUR life behind your back. Remind yourself of that.

You did the right thing in throwing his ass to the curb. What you tried to do for him in love was something he twisted and contorted into some very shitty.

Hope you file soon. I know you said you don't look forward to what lies ahead, Blanca, but if it were me? I would LOVE to divorce that guy...twice even... if it were legal...

Head Up, Girl! You are doing the right thing and will get much support here!

Man, what an asshole...L~

As much as it hurts, and it is more than likely going to hurt like hell... its time to deserve the undeserving jackass. Don't look at the pain of that as what may lay ahead. Look past that as what may lay ahead; a new life, a new job, a new car, a new whatever. But most importantly? A new life yours to live any way you want to.

Good luck to you.

I'm sorry Blanca - I know this is difficult, but you did the right thing. I, too, kicked my sorry ex out on his ass the minute I discovered his affair. It was shocking and scary and lonely for me, but I think the best way to sever the tie. Good luck - we're all here for you.

p.s. see an attorney TODAY. You must protect yourself financially, especially if he's all tied up with another woman and child.

Do not be mad at yourself. I always want to believe what my husband said and give him the benefit of the doubt. I've found that he will try to get away with whatever he can. Good for you that you kicked him out! He can go live with her! He will be sorry.

Really sorry you're going through this. Say good-bye forever to his sorry ass and get to your divorce attorney as soon as possible.

I don't know why it's so hard to get out of a marriage even when these slobs do something so horrendous. I struggle with this with my husband.

They are assholes-all of them.

Oh my dear sweety,
You didn't waste your time. Look at it like this...you can now walk away with a CLEAR conscience. You might not see it now, but you will. This clear conscience will later serve you well and allow you to develop a healthy relationship...whereas his/her guilt will affect them as well, and it won't be pretty. That's just how its gonna be. So you did the right thing for YOU.

P.S. I agree with filing or atleast retaining an attorney ASAP to protect yourself and your children. And...keep busy by separating all accounts possible.

I am sorry you were deceived again.
Remember, it's him, not you.

You gave him the GIFT of reconciliation, which HE blew.

Now....YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! FOCUS ON YOU!

I'm so sorry Blanca! I think this is something we all fear! Did you have any warning gut feelings that he wasn't being faithful? Or was he good at hiding his tracks?

I hope and pray you are able to get out and away from him. You deserve so much better! This was not your fault and it's not on you. He doesn't deserve your love and heart.

Take care of yourself. Lots of hugs to you!

goodness- what an ass!
Just want to echo everyone else- YOU did nothing wrong and you tried everything possible to try to save the marriage. You will find pride in that! Get to a lawyer ASAP!

Thanks to all of you. I'm new to this forum but must have been led here for a reason. It's been very comforting to know other people out there know this pain as well.

I'm unable to sleep and running on fums and anger. He's craftfully using his manipulative games to try to make me feel guilty for throwing him out saying that he's sleeping in his car and homeless. He knows I have a soft forgiving heart. Why doesnt he leave me alone and go with his tramp already? I hope I have the strength this time to keep my door closed and stay strong.

Yeah, Blanca my H, tried to pull the sympathy strings too, and used the exact line, that he was living out of his car! So fu*king what! He got himself into this mess.....again & again!
This really irks me, that he not only got away with the first time, cuz you forgave him, out of love, but that he fooled you twice, and for such a damned long time!

@ Design Girl

I totally agree that this is something we all fear, and I too, want to know about the warning signs!

@Blanca
Looking back at the situation, how long do you think he really cooled it with this whore, before he went back to her? How did you find out again? So you let him build up trust, and then he got his full trust back? Or did he just get more sneaky and conniving, and a bigger liar, and better at hiding and cheating?

Please help us women, who doubt our husbands cuz they cheated once already! We want to know what to look for. I know it's different for each couple, but could you clue us in as to what you found helpful and how your found out again???? Please don't soften your heart to
this lying scumbag! YOu deserve a real man!

to answer some of your questions I can say that I believe he stopped sleeping with her for awhile but I dont believe he ever stopped communicating with her. I did everything from insisting he take someone with him when he went out to installing security cameras to GPS tracking. He was good for alittle while and then made me feel guilty and said how can we rebuild trust if he was living in a prison. So I removed those things. I believe when I let my guard down is when he took advantage. He learned from his mistakes and became smarter. Throwing away evidence, unplugging the cameras, refilling the gas tank. One thing he didnt count on was the fact that I'd install the computer software to watch him.

As far as whether or not I fully trusted him. Nope. But he was building up some credit.

Warning signs? The sex was few and far between. Then he password protected his phone and his laptop. (lucky my son knew how to hack them). So girls, if your man is locking you out of his phone or computer he definitely has something to hide. No excuses! And lastly, If he takes 45 minutes to run a 10 minute errand he's up to something. Probably pulled over to have a private conversation or made a side trip.

I guess I'm scarred for life. I'll never give the benefit of the doubt. I'd rather be an old lady with a house full of loyal animals to keep me company then go through this again:)