he may say that now... but the rollercoaster hasn't even begun! He loves you and mixes that up with trust right now. Good luck he will get angry at some point.

I remember those days! I remember telling my wife that I trusted her. Then, as dawniedoo writes, "The Rollercoaster...began!" Here we are, almost 3 years later and I'm still riding and riding and riding, waiting for the ride to end!

smileand- the other 2 comments are correct. The rollercoaster has not yet begun. My W said the same to me. and tried very hard to actually BE that way. To say her love was more than her pain. She tried to shut her pain down and just forget it was there and to move past it without ever dealing with it.

My advice - keep offering access to ALL your things (phone, email, facebook, etc). maybe even leave your phone near him and leave the room for a while. He'll find himself checking. No matter how much he loves you, he does not trust you right now. Period. He will have to deal with his emotions sooner or later and more than likely it'll come out very angry and it's going to be a rough ride.

Start reading some books on rebuilding your marriage, become a member of the rebuilding marriage after infedelity group (link below). And start doing things for him that you used to do and that you know he likes. If he asks you questions (once he gets to that point), answer them HONESTLY and tell him EVERYTHING. do not hold back any part of what happened. Not even a little detail.

This will be painful for you as well as for him. But this is something you must deal with. And make sure you work through your own guilt as well. Maybe even check out talking to a therapist simply to find out why you chose to cheat rather than deal with things in a different way.

Don't be discouraged by the "rollercoaster". It sucks, but it's part of the healing process. It's good that your husband was calm and is willing to start fresh.

As a sign of good faith, I would still become totally transparent. Give him all of your passwords/login info, give him access to your phone, computer, and other electronics. He may not need it. I don't think my husband would (too much work) but the gesture will still mean something.

For what it's worth - I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU. It's not easy coming clean. It's terrifying and heart breaking. I believe with all my heart you did the right thing and I wish you all the best in your recovery and rebuilding.

Smile,

The posts is 100 on the money, the pressure, mind and feelings on your BS is stirring.

There can be an explosion, simmer if seething, instant all is good.

Too soon to call it a done deal, you have just taken 1 step now.

Good job on coming clean. True, the roller coaster emotion ride has just begun. Right now you're in the car, and it is being pulled up the first hill. It feels calm for the moment. Don't be surprised if he starts to go through the stages of grief over his loss, which will hit him more and more as it starts to sink in.

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/healing-infidelity-through-faith/news/view/3869850

Also, would be good for you to review how a CS can best heal themselves and their spouse/marriage, and keep doing all that is there:

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/healing-infidelity-through-faith/news/view/4974162

Let's hope he can progress to healing. He may not realize it yet, but the long journey has only started for him. You're on the right track. Keep focused and pray that he heals well from this.

Good job for coming clean. What is your plan to stop the behavior from repeating ?

So happy that you came clean. Yes the roller coaster. This was probably the toughest part so far because you had to prepare emotionaly to tel him.

I'll comment on misshertouch as far as details n I agree that questions should be answered but you need to be cautious with answering certain details such as "was he bigger, better, then me". "did he do this and that to you?". But do not avoid these talks. Expect them and welcome them. It is all part of the healing process.

Pink,

As a male these questions are natural and part of the process.

Yes must be tempered but if a CS answer oh he was no good smaller etc its an opposite effect.

My advise is give him all electronics - get a phone that you can only call him on - turn off your FB page. we live in an age now where we can communicate to everyone but do such a poor job to the ones we really should communicate to.

Your response to him should be - You shouldnt trust me - I haven't earned your trust. I am broken and need major help. It's a journey that hopefully we can take together.

You both need major help because once u cross this line - going back will be extremely hard to the way things used to be.

It can be done but there is a lot of personal work and group work that must be done.

he has asked question, how ling was I with him, did you kiss him,where did he touch you,how big was he,did he come inside you,did you,etc.
I told him it was 20 mins, the kids weren't around,I told him, I told him most of what happened, but left out some things that would hurt him.
I told I haven't talked to him since, and just to ease him mind I told him what ever you feel towards is understandable, if your upset,funny mood,asking to see phone,fb etc to go ahead. if you want to yell at him go ahead, but I am hugging him more
I even went to the Dr today and asked for a counsellor to help sort this out. as I know it is going to take a while.

Wow he want right to the juggler, have you taken an AIDS test yet. This is another bigger.

Prepare yourslef mentally he has gone right to the point.

Ok now I remember why your username looked familiar you posted a month ago about multiple cheating partners. I'm confused. Your story seems to change and you seemed quite flip about your cheating just a month ago.

According to your last two posts he keeps catching you then you have multiple partners and contacts,mthen you give up your partners then you take up with them again and your bf trusts you? Seems like a poor dumb guy or just doesn't really care too much that you have cheated.

m
y story hasnt changed, i DONT have all these sex parntets, it has being 3 guys, getting caight with the same 3 people.
yes it was him askimg me every day, by the messages i got if something was happening and when a person say no, they just trying to break us up, they having fun with you, hes gay, what are you to think.....?
im sure you have heard every excuse why text messages and emails are not the kimd i would send you.
to say hed stupid, is a low blow, how many woman stay with a man after he has cheated time after time, are they stupi d for staying.
if he doesnt care thats his business, he hands his pay each week.
aids test............i am careful unlike other people that cheat and dont use protection.
when i told him i told him everything, about why messages were coming etc. i didnt lie i didnt blame him,
PINK u have no idea what alot is happening, instead of calling me names, im not going to say all, my friends and family have fully understood and know the whole story, pink, have you read any of my jourmal entries? have you ever contacted me and asking for all story? anyone on net can read this, so i didnt go into detail like my journals and talking to friends who have read and asked.
i met up with another ds member on friday and she knew the journals, the drama,the bf and kids.