(((((((((((Notso))))))))))))). I get it and I'm so sorry you find yourself going through this.

It's so hard not to take this behavior personally.
This truly is his issue, which has unfortunately affected you.
Please make a concerted effort to focus on your physical and mental health.
So sorry you had to go through this.

(((((( Big Freakin Hugs!!!!!!! )))))))))))

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I remember finding out more and more of the truth and feeling like someone kicked me in the stomach. It's absolutely awful. Fortunately, it's usually the absolute lowest point in this process so please know that the days ahead will get easier.

Sending you tons of love and support - and wanting to do major bodily harm to your H on your behalf!!

More hugs here. Lisa is right. You have the cold, hard truth. At least you know that you know everything. Now, you can adjust to this information and move forward. It sounds to me that your H has compulsive behavior that has little to do with you. If he's willing to do the work, he can amend this behavior. You just have to decide if he's earned the chance to rebuild. You will get through this. God bless.

Sending you hugs. Sorry you are going through this, I hope knowing it all will actually help in the healing process. I know its hard, but better to get it all then have it trickle out and start over each time. Stay strong.

(((HUGS))) to you. I am so, so very sorry you are going through this. I wish no one had to share this pain. It's going to be a long process no matter what happens. If you have a good counselor, lean on their guidance and expertise. Hopefully, s/he will guide you in the right direction. With this level of betrayal, it will be imperative to get an accurate picture of what is at play here and what needs to be done.

Sending you strength and support!

Ouch, Ouch and double OUCH!

Man, I hate the double life bullshit.

Sending you support!

You know, if this were me? I would say to him, 'Dude, do you have anything else out there? Anything more to tell me? Because you have hurt me beyond reason...so if you're going to hurt me more, just do it and get it over with...'

(shaking head here)

L~

I can only say I'm so sorry.
You have to know it all though before you can even begin to decide to heal your marriage.
You've so much to take in and I'm sorry you hurting so badly.
I wish I had words of wisdom or something to take some of that pain away.
But I do have plenty of support anytime you need it.
Hugs
SW

I feel you. It is over a year and my H thinks he told me everything but then i will ask a question and get more details and it starts all over agian. The pain can be huge at times even when I think I am in a good place. I have so many triggers that make me just break down as if he just told me. I am still in the process now of trying to seperate that past from the present and the man from his actions. All I can say is dont do what I did. I put my own healing process on the back burner so I could focus on my kids healing. I should have included myself in that healing. It is good that you are giong to induvidual counseling. Stay strong.

I was "unknowingly" in that kind of marriage for 2 decades...add in a dozen or so hookers-oh, excuse me-"escorts". : )
I'm sorry your spouse has an addiction. But on a positive note, at least he is starting to tell the truth and maybe he'll realize that he has a problem.

I was almost in tears this morning at the out pour of support from all of you. I do not know any of you, yet your words have helped me get through the day.
We went to another counseling session today, and although I have NO idea how things ended, I think perhaps we made some headway????
I am still very confused, because I feel that I hear contradicting stories from H as far as what he wants from me and for himself.
I still do not believe that he sees the affairs as a true problem, real events that have DIRECTLY hurt me, and have hurt me for years, whether I was aware of this or not.
I also cannot tell whether he wants to stay or to go. To me that is so discomforting, because if HE is not 100% sure he wants to do everything possible to stay in this marriage, I certainly cannot be the one to have the 100% drive.
I know I am not the cause of these affairs. I know I am a good person and I deserve to be with someone who not only loves me and takes care of me, but respects ME enough not to go around sleeping with people.
That's it, I'm numb. I have nothing else to say other than to thank all the people who are so ready to offer words of encouragement in this awful time.

I read other people's posts and I cannot believe how many of us are in the same boat. Does everyone cheat? Is this the norm? Do we all just have to "overlook" and "get over it"? I have NEVER once in the past 17 yrs we've been together looked at or thought of another man.

It's pretty incredible to think of the damage the people we love most are able and willing to inflict upon us. You've had a beyond full day and feeling numb is the mind's (and heart's) way of resting and allowing everything to sink in. Allow yourself to rest. (((((Notso)))

'Get over it?'

We may not get over it, but we do get past it, but that is done in our own time and at our own pace.

'Overlook it?'

(shaking head here....) I think we are here because we refused to do that.

Does everyone cheat? Not a whole lots of people here do.

Sending you support, L~