Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I have been married for 13 years. My husband is depressed, and wrong pay attention to me. There no intimacy or sex at all. I have tried everything to help change this situation, but nothing he will not change. I'm titted of wanting to love and to be loved and, not being able to do it. I'm also tired of being rejected. W tried piles, testosterone, books, marriage retreats, and therapy but so far he doesn't seem to see the importance of it. I'm about to quit. This situation unfortunately lead, me to transfer, my feelings on another person, a good friend who paid attention to me. Nothing at all grass happened between, us, but now I believe I haves, transfered all those feelings and, decided to love him.
I'm such a mess right now, and even worse. My husband still doesn't show interest in me and this now I'm suffering like an idiot for deciding to give this love to someone who doesn't wanted either.
I hope u can of and avoid being judgmental towards me. I wish with all my great to have a sense of, belonging.
I'm such a mess right now, and even worse. My husband still doesn't show interest in me and this now I'm suffering like an idiot for deciding to give this love to someone who doesn't wanted either.
I hope u can of and avoid being judgmental towards me. I wish with all my great to have a sense of, belonging.
Blogger? I told my Doc that I was struggling with depression still, but said, 'I finally have a kick ass sex life. Can I keep it, please?????'
He found something that works for me. You do raise one hell of a good point, Blogger.
L~
First of all, I appreciate your input and time. All of your comments help me see my situation in so many different angles.
I wanted to share that this situation is been going on for at least 12 years. I mean his negligence and abandonment towards me. It had been years of rejection, trying to make things better through therapy, marriage retreats, books, etc. I have told him
Everything about my emotional affair
He knows how I got there, how it happened in detail, but he still pretends to live a life like nothing ever happens and everything is alright. I even told him that I feel this marriage is dead and that I feel trapped in it. And, not too make things worst, he works out of town a lot so me and the kids don't see that much.
I'm just so tired of waiting to be able too love and to be, loved. Deeply I need and want this, more than anything. My H knows that but nothing ever ever changes. Last I talked took him scout this was last week. He said gee wants to work on it, but I'm not sure if I believe in him anymore. I feel my love for him its dead or at least at sleep.
I don't want to destroy my marriage , neither, my two lurker, kids heart shed family. But I'm so unhappy.
Bottom line you guys r right scout the affair. I think I transferred my loved to this friend of mine who wasn't interested art three time in me. her says her loves me deeply as a friend, and I know as a woman too. However, he is a, man of integrity and also single short many years. He fears living a life with a divorced woman and trio children, plus he is jobless.
Anyways to long. I feel my love for my H is dead or almost dead, resell horrible because I loved this other man, deeply even though honest truth we haven't have even a real kiss and worse of ask I haven't been able love or been loved. I'm lacking a sense of oneness. A sense of belonging. Any insight on that? Thank u all for your comments.
When you read scout it means to say about. Sorry
and
#22-L--I'm sure having a kick-ass MAN helps ; )
On a more serious note faby- Between the books and the retreat and therapy, it sounds like you really tried, and it sounds like even he gave it some effort. You can't make someone love you or show that they love you. If you still love him, maybe you can try a separation and if he doesn't show any change (telling you he misses you, loves you, etc), then it would be best for you to move on. Good Luck.
Fab, that kind of treatment for that long really can do a number on your sense of self and sense of, as you put it, oneness. I always called it 'self definition.' How I see me. That can be thru other people, of course, and then we internalize it all. Cool psychology, isn't it? I just posted this somewhere on here...along these lines...
If you get a haircut, and then someone looks at your hair like 'are you out of your damned mind???' then YOU think 'what was I thinking? Is my hair stupid looking???' Or if you have this great dress on, and you are all decked out, and someone looks at you and says, 'you look amazing,' well, then you feel amazingly hot, right?
Stick with me.
Soooo, you have been asking to be loved for years from your H and been blown off. That affects your self perseption just as 'the above statements' do. Does that make sense?
So many times this is all easier to understand when we take the time to just break it all down.
Fab, you may have some tough choices to make here. To stay in this marriage or to go. I can understand HOW this affair happened, this EA, just as I can understand WANTING to rob a damned bank when I am broke as a joke, but, BUT, I can't condone it. But Honey, I DO understand.
Make sense?
Stick around here, would ya'? There's much support here for you.
L~
I believe that love must be unconditional, but abuse our negligence. I'm william to keep trying, but I feel so dry and cold toward s him. It is sad because, he is the father of my children. For real I want too bed a good example for them. Especially as a couple. So many broken homes. I tell u I'm an elementary school teacher and I it everyday. I just.don't know if there is anything else to do. I'm also a Dietitian believer and I'm top stay faithful to please God. Well, no excuses, but this human heart can bear so much.
My H actually was married before and hid.ex cheated on him. Years.back I asked him if he thought that she left him for the same thing and he said probably yes. I'm here waiting for him at the airport, and have.this feeling of blah which, I can't describe. Just not that excited he is coming back.home. I pray that this t first love revives again. It will take a lot of amends shed determination to win my heart and believe back. I just hanger the feeling that this will never change. I misc my friend like crazy. I decided to love him and have giving him my all emotionally, in support embed everything. Nothing have happened physically because he had kept me from getting typo.close. The thing is I want him so bad. I wish so often her was my husband. He brings let peace amass all I think id took love him for the rest of my life. What do o do with all this? I feel like I love him enough.to give, my life for him. This is the honest truth from three bottom of my heart. I.often ask myself what am I going to duo with my life?
This bull with your marriage needs to be resolved. Loving the other man in this deal? I don't really know if I would call it real love. Not the long term, real love, long lasting love. Maybe one hell of a strong crush. Maybe infatuation. Maybe a good diversion from the painful situation that you are dealing with.
If I am wrong, I am sorry.
Fab, you still have my support, but cleaning house takes steps and should be done 'in order.' Honey, you do know that. We all know that. End one thing before beginning another. Tie up loose ends. Or, make what you have work.
Alls I do know is - this can't go on for long. Because you clearly are struggling. Otherwise you would not be here, on DS, looking for an ear and a voice.
I think we are just telling you what you already know. could I be right?
What are you going to do with your life?
Do whatever you need to do, to make this right.
L~
Fab, if you love this other guy so much, divorce your husband. Once the divorce paperwork is filed or the divorce is finalized, then you can start pursuing your adultery partner.
At this point, your husband deserves to be free.
I appreciate your honesty and advice. However, I like for u to know that out was, never heart cheat on my husband. I even never dream of such a thing. That is why I'm posting this because aftermany years, over 12 years of marriage being neglected and amandine as a woman, I felt that enough was enough. Especially after trying everything I could. This love for this man didn't started on purpose. I guess, that deep need for friendship and attention made it stronger everyday. I'm not trying to justify it, I'm just trying to explain the reason behind it. Also don't forget I have been crystal clear about my feelings and whereabouts, but he makes himself to be blind. He wants too pretend everything is fine when is not.
I'm just to the point where is pointless to believe him when nothing ever changes. I want to believe, but I'm just plain tired of waiting for a change from his part . I decided to love him and I did, even though he rejected me night after night for 12 years. I guess for except three nights the 1st night and three mithras we conceived later children.