Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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I'm on the roller coaster...

cbazan
cbazan
Hey friends I hope everyone is in good health and in spirits today. Me I'm feeling blue, sad, depressed, and angry all in one. Today is baby's first Easter and we have been invited to eat dinner at some friends. I want to go but I'm feeling so down and don't feel like putting on a brave and strong face today. I want to be left alone, I want to cry, I want to scream and I want him to hurt. It seems to me that he has no remorse for his actions. Although I don't accept any calls, or respond to messages left or texts so I guess I wouldn't really have any idea how he feels. He hasn't called since 04/01 which in my opinion shows me he's just fine with his actions and the end results. I've been told by two people that in a sense it's kinda my fault, that I should have known he was too young to handle a relationship seriously. I don't buy that. He's old enough to know right from wrong. He knew to hide it so clearly he was aware that his actions were not of the best intent. He was old enough to go get his things and move into my home without asking. HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING!!! I'm so angry that it's spilling over into VIOLENT thoughts. I guess it's a good thing I haven't seen him, it's a good thing I fear GOD, it's a good thing there are laws. I feel like a complete fool and I have been humiliated beyond comprehension. Is it possible for me to move on and get past this when I ave cut ALL TIES? I don't answer the phone, he cannot and has not seen me, I mean what is really left to say. I don't want to hear the lousy, sorry excuses for being such scum. I'm pretty much an ACTION type of girl and his actions broadcast his feelings loud and clear. So how can I move forward when there are so many unanswered questions? although no excuse can he give me to help me understand why he would do such horrible things in the manner he did. The neighbor downstairs who I have to see daily, the 2 neighbors who have moved since, the 40 women on face-book. I walked away and communication isn't an option. I really feel that if he put forth SO MUCH EFFORT to disrespect me, his actions showed nothing but pure hatred towards me when I have always been his support system is EQUAL to putting a revolver to my heart..he simply didn't give 2 shits about me or this baby he begged for...
znzsmom
znzsmom
cb, I feel your pain. I do encourage you to go to your friends today. Get out, see people you like and respect, get a good meal, be thankful for your blessings. It sounds like this guy was extremely emotionally immature and still is. He begs you for a baby yet has no idea what committment means. What the heck does he think bringing a new life into the world means? That is a lifetime committment! The best thing that you can do for yourself is try to let go and move on with your life. You and your baby are worth more than this. Pick yourself up and go have a blessed Easter!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ok, number one: These people who tell you he was too young need to piss off, no offense, but I was 22 when I got married, he was 23, and, well, it's time to put on your big kid pants, you know what I mean?
Number two: I don't know what him not talking to you in almost a month means, but I can say that the best thing you can do is try to do for you, move on with your day to day stuff. Does he see your baby?
Number three: I can relate to the holiday-blues thing. When my EX H moved out, it was a week before Thanksgiving. He had our son for the holiday, and my best friend invited me to her Mom's house, including my dog, and offered to let me spend the night. All of my family is in another state. I said no, I want to be alone. I was miserable. I think that's the most I cried and felt as low as I could, and this was back in November 2009. I was tortured, down, just bawling all day, all night. In hindsight, knowing my friend and her family knew I was in a bad way, I could've gone and I wouldn't have even had to put on a brave face. They all knew and would've understood. I WISH I had gone, but I remember exactly feeling like the only thing I wanted was to be alone.
I encourage you to go, esp for your baby, and it might help get your mind off of it. Just know I understand where you're coming from.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My wife lied to me for almost 2 weeks to cover up her fling. Even after I came home from a hospital she said very insensitive things to me, and I feel as if she doesn't really care what she did to my mind. I have learned, and took advice from many people, to focus on myself and say be damned with the cheating person; that's what you need to do for you and your baby like znzsmom said. It will help you to at least forget about some of the pain for a while, while you learn to cope with it. I went out on Friday, a friend that is a masseuse gave me a massage, then I hung with a friend and I tell you what, I haven't laughed that much in a long time. I'm sad to hear that your baby has to be involved in this, but stay strong for your baby and yourself. :)
cbazan
cbazan
Oh guys your so very encouraging. I'm sure you guys know how much just getting your feelings out helps. Thank you all so much for the kind and reassuring words. I did go and yes I felt better. The fact that it was baby's first Easter is what set me off. He didn't ask to be here and I feel like every single second of his life should be a happy one. @ TryingtoMove....Yes I allow him to see baby but ONLY because I don't want little Amari to suffer behind his father's callous decisions with all our lives. However I DO NOT allow HIM to come anywhere near my home, so his mother comes 2 times a week to pick him up. I have to admit this is her and his father's first grandchild, so the family is an EXTREME blessing and all I have to do is call or text and she's here. He also pays the light bill which is always over $150. Grandma just asks for bill and takes it with her. I know that's a blessing and all, but at the same time when it comes to having a HUMAN BEING to REAR...I'm not giving his lousy tail any brownie points. So yeah he sees him twice a week and since I opened my boutique back up for spring, he has even spent two weekends at his mom's to keep baby over night. STILL LOATHE HIM. But again I do feel better and it is my choice to NOT DEAL with him. I guess it just kills me softly that I HAVE TO LET GO OF WHAT I THOUGHT WAS MY BEST FRIEND. That's going to take some getting use to as we shared everything the last two years. We were together 247, he helped me run my business, we had one cellphone, everything.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I admire your strength and determination.
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