Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
We came to the commen realization last night that I can't get over what she has done with her not trying to help me heal, and she said she has nothing to give and must focus on recovery, so I asked her to leave, and she did. When we remarried I thought it the right thing to do, now my mind tells me to run away from her, but it still hurts. Why do the "could be" thoughts have so much power over what is in front of my face?
You've tried, probably more than most, and maybe she's given what she had left to give too. Just not enough to overcome.
I wish you strength and peace in the knowledge you're doing what's best. Time for a new dream, where you're happy with yourself rather than miserable with someone else.
Hugs,
CR64
As to why we hold onto hope despite all the evidence before us? Well, that's love, brother.
You know you're doing the right thing here. I'm sending you strength as you adjust, but I know you've got it in you to succeed.
The problem is, it literally takes two for a marriage to work...especially a marriage when infidelity has taken place. There are tons of people on this board who are YEARS after their spouse's infidelity, and they still struggle with trust, etc.
I'm sorry this hurt you. I know the feeling. I am also sorry she doesn't seem to want to make the marriage work...I also know this feeling. Allow yourself to feel the pain and hurt..you're only human. Slowly but surely, you will overcome this, and you will see how much stronger you will be when you do.
No, I didn't remarry but my EX and I did try to reconcile after the divorce was final. Call me crazy - I hear it!
It didn't work.
Take the deep breath you need to take and acknowledge that every effort was made that could have been made. YOu didn't walk away from this lightly or easily. See that some damage is just too great to get past. Some things are just too wrecked.
...and like my Grandpa had said? 'your horse dies in the field. Do you kick it to get back up and keep working or do you bury it and get on with your life? You bury it, L, and don't look back. Done is done.'
Sending you support, L~
We have so much hope. We want our spouse to be happy and healthy with us so much, it is hard to see the problems. Hope is so powerful. I have lived 14 years of hope for my husband to recover, and it keeps getting worse.
You have to keep in mind, this is not your fault, and this is not about what you did wrong, but about her. It sounds like you supported her more then most ever would. I am so glad she is getting into recovery!! My H is still not home after the EA, because he is not ready to get help. Even if he and I don't get back together, I want him to recover and be truly happy. One of two things will happen for you, she will decide once she is healthly her faults and do EVERYTHING she can to help you get over this and get you back, or you will move on with time and be truly happy. You will BE HAPPY again. Now all I have to do is take my own advice. :)
I am in couseling, a co-dependency suppot group and this website and I have my friends and famliy. This all has helped me to keep focuse on what is best for ME, and quit HOPING!!!!!
For all of us that are still trying to figure out what is going to happen and what our futures will be, we're stuck in a limbo... Everyday is a new challenge and a new decision. You have the freedom to completely start moving forward and to face your new future. I think that's a beautiful thing.