Good luck to you and your girls! I think all of us BS that try to make it work have a line and we know when that line has been crossed we will walk away, the phone may have been your line, but good for you for knowing when!

I would drive myself insane going through the phone and reading everything! Hope you have the strength to stay calm and collected!

Out of curiosity where did he hide his phone? Or was it somewhere obvious and he wanted you to find it? Just trying to get into the mindset of these stupid CS's!

You're post made me cry..I can feel how tired you are..I get everything you said. The good news is right where you are is where I finally started to heal and move on. My prayers are for strength and peace for you and your daughter...if you are anything like me,you have started down the otherside of that terrible mountain..no longer struggling going up..the other side is much easier..even though it contains so many struggles..its crazy because if you look at everything you are ready to endure it seems like it would be harder..but its not...

The phone was in his pocket when he was sleeping. I think the number one trick is to cover their tail and make you think your crazy for thinking anything.

POS!!!!
Hugs :(

OMG!! WOW!!

Walk-away. Do it fast, Do it NOW!

Yeah, the "secret cell phone." Real original. You know what you know. He can't lie his way out of it. Don't wait for him to admit it, he only want to cover his ass. Just leave. He will be sorry.

That crazy making, gaslighting, making you think it's all in your crazy head...that's the worst. That's what I got from my husband when all the signs pointed to him messing around, but no evidence so, if it's true, he's gotten away with it. He has no time unaccounted for since he's been unemployed the last year, but I still wonder when the truth is going to come crawling out of the woodwork. There's nothing quite like having someone screw with your trust in your own perception.

Yes, yes...I remember the "You're crazy" conversations with the good ol' ex. But he surely couldn't hide the old cell he "forgot" about, which contained the texts he didn't erase. Or the text he sent me, accidentally, intending it for her.

Cheaters aren't the brightest bunch. Stupid, little things trip them up. All they really "learn" from it is how to be better, the next time, so they don't get caught.

You will feel so much stress-relief as you start down the other side of that mountain, toward you. You will no longer have to compromise, or haggle your spouse. You won't have "issues" there to deal with anymore because you will no longer be his warden and babysitter. It will be a HUGE weight off your shoulders, trust me. I would rather drop the damaged baggage then have to carry it with me, constantly looking over my shoulder, or dealing with triggers.

You will make it. :)

I also looked for his secret cell phone in the truck of his car, but didn't find it...

Go stash it somewhere safe.

Have you outed the affair to the OW's husband?

If not, maybe forward him the texts then stash the phone.

Wishing you peace.

Sending all the strengthening vibes I can. You will be amazed how much stronger you will feel when you are out from under the oppression of lies and deceit. Your husband is sucking the essence out of you. Definitely time to move on and regain who you are at your core.

Be well.

Sux!!!!! Sorry he is a dickhead but glad you were smart enough to figure it out before you invested too much of your heart again.

I found the prepaid cell as well. He left it on his desk to undoubtedly make me see it. I was married 47 years to the biggest narcissist you can imagine. He cheated with women and at the end, with men. After taking him to the emergency room because he was sick-and them admitting him to the hospital, I got a call from his Gay lover telling me I was "in their way". He was hysterical because my husband couldn't be reached. He was in the hospital and no longer emailing him every half hour, that's why. Within two weeks I threw him out, kept him away from me and then 18 months later divorced him. I've never known anyone who doesn't care who he hurts more than him. Completely devoid of any acknowledgement I stuck by him for almost 50 years. He has NO integrity either. In the end of the marriage he was obviously trying to torment me out of the marriage to be with his Gay lover. He did terrible things to me including put me in headlocks when things weren't going his way. Called me CRAZY multiple times so that I'd doubt what it was I knew. Alienated my youngest daughter from me by bad mouthing me to her for 16 years. No holds barred assault on me. What I can't get over is that he felt no responsibility to me in life. I was his cover female. Think this is bad? Well yes, it's devastating considering what I have invested in him. BUT let me tell you, we've been apart for almost 2 years and they are the BEST times of my life. I despise him. He lies like I breathe. I am rid of all of it. He will someday be held accountable. The hard part is I won't see it. I just believe you can't treat someone this bad and just get away with it. Anger keeps me tethered to him and that's the reason I am dumping all the anger. I wish you well. DO NOT take him back. Once they get to this point, staying in the marriage will only waste valuable time. Divorce him and move on. It's the only way.

Big hugs to you. I imagine that was a horrible revelation. The only good is that you have a definitive answer. Sending you lots of light going forward.

Wow. I feel the same way. My husband has a whole new life from the one he wants "the world" to see. Very secretive and deceptive. Like you I am more fed up and irritated.
He is very distant from me and told me that he is not in contact with this girl. Even recently said that he is not having an affair! Meanwhile I was able to get into his emails/FB messenger and read otherwise. I have never met someone who has lied to me the way he has and hope I never encounter another in my lifetime.
All the best to you and may God grant you the strength needed during this difficult time. There is always a change of reconciliation but you have to work on you and heal for yourself and your children.