Sweety, he cheated on you, and instead of trying anything in the world to make it up to you, showing true remorse- he is keeping you on the line, available to him if it doesn't work out with someone else. I know how damn hard it is, and how you want to think that THIS case is different, he WILL change- ....but the only way for you to even start moving on is to go no contact. I'm so sorry for your pain.

It is certainly normal, albeit very painful, to feel alone after the break-up of a relationship. At the same time, keeping a connection to him is also going to keep the pain fresh and at the surface all the time instead of allowing you some space to begin healing. Keeping tabs on him, continuing to talk to him in whatever way you are (either directly or through others) is keeping you pining for him. And he knows it.

The best advice I can give you, even though I have a suspicion you will not follow it, is to cut off contact with him completely. It may very well be one of the hardest things you ever do, but I believe it is necessary. I did it, as far as possible, with my husband a little while after he left me. I quit asking to talk, giving him letters, pleading with him, any of that, and restricted my contact with him to email and only about the kids or finances. If I hadn't had to do that, I would have had none with him at all. I also started packing up his crap and would have it sitting on the driveway whenever he came by for anything. If I could do it, you can do it. And I believe you really need to.

For one thing, if he is asking you for space, he is not going to react well to you not giving it. He will be annoyed and put-off, not enamored. But, more importantly, I think you need to get your head clear enough to see that this man is no good for you. If he has cheated on you multiple times, what hope are you hanging onto here? Why do you want to settle for this? Have no contact long enough to see if this fog lifts and you can see where your life could go without him. You may find real happiness.

I was trying my hardest not to contact him. He contacted me on monday and said things were looking up; child support was coming out for his son and that he was going to go get help and thanks for the talks, then he texted me again this morning to see if his car was still at my house b/c the finance co called his parents looking for his car. He said he hadn't made a payment b/c they had a freeze on his checking acct. So he has made the first contact not me, but its killing me not to contact him, b/c I miss him so much.

No contact means no contact either way. This means you block his number, or change your number, and do whatever necessary to prevent him from contacting you as well as you not contacting him. You are obviously still in too vulnerable of a state to be able to handle hearing from him, so it is really important for you to find ways to keep it from happening. And, he doesn't know where his own car is? Mmmm....sounds more like an excuse to keep you on the hook to me. He knows you are hurting. He knows how to reel you in. Anything having anything to do with him needs to be gone from your place and he should have no other means to contact you. If you truly want to detach yourself from this jerk, that is what you need to do.

You will find tons of support here. We will help you. (((HUGS)))

He's probably trying to play it cool- but my guess id that he does care. He probably knows that pretending he doesnt care keeps you on edge and makes you wanbt him more. If he likes you at all, it is killing him on the inside.